In America, there are two genders. There are two sexes. It is not common knowledge that sex and gender are different and that there are multiple sexes. When I applied for jobs, I was asked about my gender and given two options. Male or female? I didn't even have the option I needed to answer an optional question. I wasn't sure if they meant to ask about my sex or my gender. I was forced to choose or decline. 
I have a tool in my toolbox for schizoaffective disorder that I haven’t written about before. The tool is earplugs.
Every individual will have a unique experience with verbal abuse recovery. Each situation is different, resulting in a personalized journey for healing that requires changing tools and strategies. However, navigating which methods to use during your recovery process can be overwhelming. It can help to have various ways to manage the aftereffects of verbal abuse. 
An area of my anxiety that has been difficult to overcome has been productivity anxiety. Since I was young, I’ve held myself to high standards that I’ve found to be unreachable. When I was younger, these standards meant getting good grades and being successful in school. As I got older, these standards extended to every other area of life.
If you have stumbled across any article on this blog, it will come as no shock that eating disorder recovery is an integral, foundational part of my life. I do not always operate from the healthiest mindset in my relationship with food, exercise, or body image. But I am open about all facets of my continuous healing process, whether it's a step forward or a slip backward. In fact, I tend to be much more transparent and vulnerable online than I am in daily face-to-face interactions. When someone I know in real life inquires about my fitness or nutrition habits (because, to the surprise of no one, this a body-conscious culture), I notice my cheeks start to flush, and I choose the vaguest answer possible. That reaction strikes me as curious, though. Why am I still embarrassed about my eating disorder after all these years?
Dating and depression don't mix very well. When you feel terrible about yourself because of depression, it's not the best time to meet new people and try to develop healthy connections. But if your depression is longstanding, does that mean you shouldn't date? Can you successfully date while depressed?
Generally speaking, I'm not a very good liar, but I am excellent at lying to myself. I count myself amongst the majority in this department. Most people value honesty and seek to use it in their relations with others, but when it comes to themselves, they may be so adept at deception that they don't even know they're doing it. But self-honesty and not lying to yourself matters.
I had somehow convinced myself that my life would be over the moment I walked out of there, completely devoid of confidence and self-worth. That’s a tad dramatic, but at the time, I didn’t know better; I was so clouded by feelings of self-doubt to see beyond the tragedy (as I would have described it at the time) unfolding right before my eyes. You’re a little lost, so let me dial it back for you.
When treating bipolar disorder, I think it's critical to gain bipolar mood stability first and only then tweak up or down as needed. That means that if you're in a depression right now (and let's face it, that's when people seek help the most), the goal isn't to treat depression, per se, but rather to gain bipolar stability. Of course, I'm not the only one who thinks this. The esteemed psychiatrist Dr. Jim Phelps agrees: treatment should focus on bipolar mood stability first.
I have a long history with perfectionism. In fact, I cannot recall a time in my life when this fixation wasn't driving my performance and achievements. I suspect this is one reason I have always been drawn to activities or pursuits that measure excellence in visible, quantifiable terms. In school, I only accepted straight As. In athletics, I gravitated to sports like archery, where I could aim for the center of a literal bullseye. And in my career, I have turned to writing—a skill based on technical precision. But as I continue to heal my thoughts and behaviors from the residue of anorexia, I am learning to appreciate that eating disorder recovery is not about perfection.

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Your relationship with food is an important part of your mental health recovery. Eating a balanced, nutritious diet can help to regulate your mood, boost your energy, and improve your overall mental wellbeing. It is important to take the time to learn about healthy eating and incorporate it into your lifestyle. Making small, positive changes to your diet can have a big effect on your mental health.
I am in a similar position. I have helped my wife for three years through over 25 different alters with different names and personalities. There has always been a destructive alter that called herself poison but she didn’t like to be the host as she was always negative and spoken accusingly, abusively as used to say she didn’t want to be here and left quickly. About 1 year ago this poison suddenly became the host, almost all other alters stopped and she systematically began to destroy our relationship. We have children but she has decided we assess separate even though we live together. I’m almost done no matter how much I love her, it’s unbearable.
So i was wondering if you have any tips on getting help for this without being so, “out-right”. (P.S, im only 16, and ik that effects a lot of decision making on the doctors part). I find i relate to a lot of experiences, but i have serious trouble determining if they’re real experiences or ones ive made myself BELIEVE i have because of my obsession with self analyzing and figuring out why i feel the way i do. I RLLY dont wanna assume, or self diagnosis, or anything like that. But every time i try to explain how i feel, i suddenly feel like idk how to explain it right. I kinda feel like im walking on eggshells so ppl don’t assume im just a hypochondriac (which usually happens whenever im very open). I’m usually told that my experiences are normal by my family. And most doctors tell me i seem to mature, intelligent, and other bs. I haven’t shared specific concerns about DID, but Im honestly EXTREMELY hesitant bc i feel I will seem like im just being anxious and overthinking. Maybe I am, but i FEEL like im connecting dots. Though i also stg im just making myself believe this bc I have a need to identify with something. I feel super contradictory. Like my whole life and existence is on different wave lengths, and sometimes overlap. Anyway, sorry im going off topic. I’ve always had mental troubles, but rn these concerns are contributing to the way that i negatively impact my own life. I feel like im going crazy, though it also feels like im just so DIFFERENT from anyone else. But idk. Anyway, do u have any tips on getting help, preferably examined for this without ppl assuming im just being paranoid. I’ve been in and out of therapy for years now, and i feel like part of me knows all the “tools” to help with depression and anxiety and whatnot. Rarely they work. Sometimes im not even able to remember them. Sometimes i dont care enough to do them. I feel the only way to not destroy my future is to figure out what im experiencing to find a better way to deal with it, but NO ONE AROUND ME seems to care. Maybe im just being an emotional teenager, maybe im delusional and what im feeling is normal, maybe im just depressed. Im sorry for dumping all my issues on u, but if theres any tips you might know that will help me communicate my concerns and feelings without being pushed down or talked over? And how do i tell if my concerns are valid they’re being hushed, or if i just BELIEVE my way of existence is different to others even though its not. Tbh, even if u don't any tips, thats ok. Id just like some input from someone who can probably relate to, at the very least, some similar feelings of frustration.
How can i tell the difference between gaslighting myself and not? Just for some personal info, im only 16. I have GAD, SAD, MDD, and ADHD. Though i get treatment for these things, im still struggling extremely with most aspects of life. I feel like something is missing, and no one understands me (which ik is “common” for a teenager but it doesn’t usually make them feel like they need to be in a mental hospital). For a while, I was in a toxic relationship and I identified greatly with bpd symptoms. Now that i have therapy and a better partner, i feel like I’ve been going crazy. Im no longer in “panic mode” but im constantly trying to figure out what is happening bc no one else will. I didn’t intentionally seek it, but I stumbled upon DID and became interested. The more I research (genuine hours worth of research, not just random stuff), the more i feel like I “connect dots” and come to realizations. My problem is, I REFUSE to self diagnose. I know im no physiologist, i KNOW it’s extremely hard to understand DID and most mental conditions. But my brain feels uncontrollable, these thoughts and research are like almost daze episodes in which i spend hours attempting to recall my life and figure out what i “have” that is causing me to destroy my social life, mental state, relationships, school, etc. Ive expressed these concerns to my mother (not particularly DID, just the “trying to figure things out” stuff) , but theres not much either of us feel we can do. Neither of us are psychologist, and im already in therapy and have a psychologist. The problem is, i don’t always think like this (i think?). I just know as soon as I’m in their office every concern that makes me think “im crazy” leaves my mind. And i dont realize until later. Sometimes i even slightly remember but suddenly it seems unimportant and like im making things up. And, possibly due to my younger age, whenever i have expressed similar concerns in the past ive been told im to polite, self aware, sweet, smart, intelligent, etc to have a mental condition. The problem is sometimes i tell them IM NOT ALWAYS LIKE THAT and they never ever listen. I feel trapped. And i think its causing me to reserve my suspensions to seem like less of a hypochondriac. But the whole reason i want someone to take me seriously is so i DONT assume and convince myself im going through experiences that im not. But i cant tell myself. So, do u know any tips to either help this or figure out if im gaslighting myself into thinking I might have DID. I just desperately dont want to assume, and I know im young which effects things, but im so tired of watching myself destroy everything around me including myself too. It’s exhausting. Anyway sorry for the rant :). Oopsy
Nevaeh B.
In my head I lost out the things I want to do, or think I need to do in order to be healthy, fit, pretty, acceptable. But, when it comes to doing those things, I feel I don’t have the energy to do them. I come home from school and tell myself, “I’m going to do a workout!”. I get home and i look up a workout video to go along with, but never press play. Instead, I get a lump in my throat and a pit in my stomach because I know I should do it, but I just don’t want to. I feel exhausted the moment think about doing it after a long day of what feels like constant pressure, anxiety, and people pushing me to be something I don’t really want to be. But my voice is buried in the lump in my throat, so I do what they want, tire myself out, and leave no energy left for what feels right to ME.