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Saying goodbye is never easy, but it is crucial because everything ends. After writing for three years for Work and Bipolar or Depression, my journey has taken a bittersweet turn. This is my last post about work and depression, and I want to express my gratitude to team HealthyPlace and my readers. 
When I first began experiencing the onset of depression, I was confused and terrified. Although vague and patchy, at the time, I did have a basic understanding of how the disease typically presents itself in individuals. I was adamant that what I felt was not synonymous with someone who is depressed. The emotions I was experiencing didn’t align with the accounts of other individuals who have experienced depression. Not only was I confused and terrified, but I also felt like an outcast in the community that theoretically should have provided me with solace.
Verbal abuse can rear its ugly head anywhere to anyone, including children in a school setting. Unfortunately, it can be more than a child's peers who use name-calling or teasing to get the attention they want. In some situations, the trusted adults in the classroom who receive payment to guide our children and help them learn are the ones throwing around insults and demeaning kids. 
Writing has always been a healthy outlet for me to process and express my feelings. I have been writing since I was a young girl, and it has helped me through some of the darkest periods in my life. Throughout my time writing for Healthy Place, I have had some incredible personal breakthroughs and have been able to connect with many others who battle similar demons. However, my path has taken me in a different direction, and I am saying a final goodbye to my readers within the Debunking Addiction blog.
Regardless of the methods involved, self-harm can make you tired in ways you might never have expected.
Technology is no doubt distracting. Our phones are constantly buzzing with notifications, and apps are vying for our attention so they can increase their revenue from advertisers. Shows are increasingly binge-worthy, video games have evolved to the graphical fidelity of live-action films, and the endless sea of content gets larger and larger each day. For people with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), who already struggle to focus, the engrossing pull of technology is all the stronger. 
When I drive through the familiar streets of my hometown, I experience a sharp realization that time is passing. My family is older, hair is thinning and greying. My friends have moved to different cities or states. I notice I feel completely differently about my life and my future compared to when I was growing up with an eating disorder. My experience with eating disorders, and specifically binge eating disorder (BED), used to suck the vitality out of my life and leave behind a rigid pattern of living that made me dread my future.
I am a relatively healthy person, apart from having anxiety and the physical symptoms associated with it. I'm lucky. Like a lot of people, I take my physical health for granted. Sure, I try to eat right and exercise almost daily, but on the whole, I go about my days, assuming my health will continue to serve me as it has. Very recently, however, I heard from my doctor that I need a special test where cancer is suspected. Managing my anxiety while waiting for my upcoming appointment has become my latest challenge. 
Do you know the feeling when you successfully book your flight tickets and accommodation for a vacation? No, not the feeling of excitement. An uncertain feeling in the pit of your stomach that tells you something might go wrong on the trip-- anxiety. 
Boundaries are one area in my life that I wish I were better at. I have trouble completely putting myself first, even if it becomes a detriment to myself, especially my mental wellbeing. It dawned on me, though, that I had set boundaries before. While I had thought I didn’t really have any, I do have boundaries I’ve set up to protect my mental health. The reason I’ve never really thought of them in that light is that I’ve struggled with feeling like a bad person by doing so.

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Comments

Liana M. Scott
Hi Izzy. I totally understand where you're coming from. I have felt similarly in the past. What works best for me is setting boundaries for myself and keeping to those boundaries. I'm honest with myself about how much time I need for my tasks (work, etc.), then myself (very important), then others (family and friends). I'm honest with myself about who I want to spend time with and why. Sure, obligation and respect for family comes into play but I often offset that with more time for myself or a really good/favorite friend. Go easy on yourself. And, take care of you first. Without that, none of the rest is possible.
Dan S
Sorry, but this post Fulton is unbelievable. Making a depression into a conspiracy theory. There is no way that you have experienced depression I have. No one forced me to feel the way I do. But, I’ll “pull myself up by the boot straps” and “suck it up buttercup” and get back to life. I think big-pharma could make a killing with a anti-conspiracy theory drug these.
Kimberly Hattabaugh
Thank you for sharing this. I’ve never thought about this natural way to help alleviate anxiety.
Sarah
Hi there. I used to suffer with this condition since I was a baby until I was about 35 years old. . I didn't know that it could have any connection to being sexually abused? That makes a lot of sense though. Because I was sexually abused since I was a baby until I was about 14 years old. I was so ashamed of my trich I would have bald spots on the sides of my head, as a kid , as a teenager, my twenty's, my thirty's. until I finally stopped at the age of about 35 years old. I have also been diagnosed with schizophrenia. I want to help anyone else that is out there suffering with this. I didn't tell ANYONE when I was younger. I was so scared, I already had problems making friends as it was. I didn't even tell my parents. They knew that something was wrong, but they were they type of family that swept everything under the rug that was traumatic or embarrassing to our family. They just wouldn't talk about it. The most they would say to me was to get my hands out of my hair. So it always felt like I was doing something wrong, and couldn't ask for help. I felt judged, and not accepted in my own family. I suffer with depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, ptsd, and on and on... I'm just so relieved to have stopped pulling my hair. The way I stopped was because of my husband. He was upfront with me about my condition, and just asked me what was going on? So I was honest with him, because I trusted him, and he told, why don't you play with your extensions that you put in your hair? Because after awhile there were extensions at the beauty store that I could afford, and when I put them in my hair, it looked like I had more hair. So I started just holding and playing with them in my hands whenever I felt the urge to pull my hair and it worked! Im telling you after suffering for all those years, Finally after awhile just playing with my extensions in my hands, I now have also stopped playing with the extensions and haven't had any urges to pull my own hair anymore. It's been about 10 years now without any urges. I suggest anyone that's going through this, find a wig, hair extensions, or anything that feels like hair to try it. It might be the answer for this tormenting issue. I have long grown our hair now. The only thing is though what I noticed is I still have hair stuck in the gums of my teeth. It seems as though it's still growing in my gums and teeth. I'm too embarrassed to tell my dentist. My tongue is always trying to feel for the hair in my teeth. I hope I helped someone reading this. I would have loved to have figured this out a long time ago.
Hannah
Thank you for bringing so much value to this community with this blog. It has been such a joy reading your pieces and being able to relate to your journey . You have created a safe space of learning and growth where those of us who struggle with the similar Demons can come to not feel so alone! Thank you for all that you are and sharing about this topic.