Blogs
Of late, life has become pretty humorless. I don't find anything funny; on the contrary, I cringe at jokes that get laughs out of most people. If others' jokes have this effect, it's a given that I cannot see the funny side of things myself. And to think I used to be a mischievous twentysomething! Well, my grim outlook is more a result of depression than a side effect of growing up.
Life is unpredictable. That's a universal fact no one can escape. A day can begin like any other—normal, routine, even mundane—but take an unexpected, alarming turn that shocks the nervous system and unearths dormant anxieties, heartaches, or traumas from the past. In reaction to this event, old patterns or defense mechanisms can start to re-emerge. The compulsion to emotionally detach intensifies, and all of a sudden, it feels so enticing to retreat into the familiar numbness of an eating disorder. I recently had this experience, and now I find myself asking: What should my response be when a present situation fuels past eating disorder temptations?
Almost a year ago to the day, I crashed headlong into weeks of crippling panic and anxiety that left me terrified and traumatized. I sought out and found a trauma therapist who could help me get beyond the trauma so I could be myself and get back to living. I'm delighted to say that last week, I reached a significant milestone in my trauma recovery.
There’s so much information online about the negative side-effects of living with borderline personality disorder (BPD) and very little about BPD superpowers. Yep, that's right -- if you or someone you know has BPD, they, or you, probably have superpowers. In this article, I get into one aspect I love about my BPD-having-self.
Do you ever find yourself worrying about the future? As someone who struggles with anxiety, I sometimes find myself worrying about what the future holds. However, recently, I have been finding myself getting more anxious about the future than ever before. This fear and worry seeps into everything I do at all times of the day. From waking up to going to work and back to bed, my mind is constantly filled with anxious thoughts about what the future will look like for me. This interferes with my daily life and makes me feel mentally exhausted.
Whether you ascribe to spoon theory, visualize it as a battery draining, or some other metaphor, energy can be low or nonexistent when you have mental health struggles. For me, I generally have less energy to begin with, and, often, day-to-day activities—even simple interactions or tasks—can steal all my spoons or drain that battery to red. When my depression and anxiety are running rampant, it can feel like everything goes into the negative.
My name is Mel Bender. I’m thrilled to be joining HealthyPlace as an author for the Relationships and Mental Illness blog. I’m a freelance writer, blogger, and artist living in Toronto, Canada.
Over the past several months, I've been writing about ways to boost self-esteem at a comfortable pace. I find that working at your own speed and setting achievable goals will help set anyone up for self-esteem success. Today, I'd like to talk about something different I tried recently. I want to talk about how challenging myself affected my self-esteem.
Recently a friend ruined my mental health. Well, a friend combined with preexisting bipolar disorder, ruined my mental health. I don't believe in blaming people for mental health problems, per se; but, sometimes people do things that are so damaging, a change in mental health really is pretty much their fault. So, what do you do when a friend ruins your mental health?
This might seem like a bold, hyperbolic claim, but it just so happens to be true: I have no regrets about my eating disorder. Of course, there are some behaviors I am not proud of, relationships I have worked fiercely to restore, and memories I still flinch at. But in terms of actual regret, I simply think it's a wasted emotion. While I have absolutely no desire to relive those 15 years of battling anorexia, this formative chapter in my life transformed me into who I am right now—a person for whom I feel genuine love and respect. So if you'll indulge me for a few minutes, I will unpack why I have no regrets about my eating disorder.
So I drank more because I was furious. And around 1am Sunday morning, I went to the washroom and fell back against the toilet tank and broke the tank. Water spilled out and seaped through to our ceiling below, causing some water damage. And a little dripped to our neighbors place below us.
I am taking ownership and doing everything to fix it, and have decided to stop drinking completely. But it is important for your significant other to be supportive as well. We talked about everything the next day calmly, but he stills rubs it in my face. I am well aware of what I did and feel bad about it, since it also happened in front of my aunt, who is like a mother to me. I know I did a bad thing, but I don't believe in making someone feel worse than they already do. Show support for those you love and help them through the situation. We feel bad enough as it is.