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When I first began experiencing the onset of depression, I was confused and terrified. Although vague and patchy, at the time, I did have a basic understanding of how the disease typically presents itself in individuals. I was adamant that what I felt was not synonymous with someone who is depressed. The emotions I was experiencing didn’t align with the accounts of other individuals who have experienced depression. Not only was I confused and terrified, but I also felt like an outcast in the community that theoretically should have provided me with solace.
Verbal abuse can rear its ugly head anywhere to anyone, including children in a school setting. Unfortunately, it can be more than a child's peers who use name-calling or teasing to get the attention they want. In some situations, the trusted adults in the classroom who receive payment to guide our children and help them learn are the ones throwing around insults and demeaning kids. 
Writing has always been a healthy outlet for me to process and express my feelings. I have been writing since I was a young girl, and it has helped me through some of the darkest periods in my life. Throughout my time writing for Healthy Place, I have had some incredible personal breakthroughs and have been able to connect with many others who battle similar demons. However, my path has taken me in a different direction, and I am saying a final goodbye to my readers within the Debunking Addiction blog.
Regardless of the methods involved, self-harm can make you tired in ways you might never have expected.
Technology is no doubt distracting. Our phones are constantly buzzing with notifications, and apps are vying for our attention so they can increase their revenue from advertisers. Shows are increasingly binge-worthy, video games have evolved to the graphical fidelity of live-action films, and the endless sea of content gets larger and larger each day. For people with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), who already struggle to focus, the engrossing pull of technology is all the stronger. 
When I drive through the familiar streets of my hometown, I experience a sharp realization that time is passing. My family is older, hair is thinning and greying. My friends have moved to different cities or states. I notice I feel completely differently about my life and my future compared to when I was growing up with an eating disorder. My experience with eating disorders, and specifically binge eating disorder (BED), used to suck the vitality out of my life and leave behind a rigid pattern of living that made me dread my future.
I am a relatively healthy person, apart from having anxiety and the physical symptoms associated with it. I'm lucky. Like a lot of people, I take my physical health for granted. Sure, I try to eat right and exercise almost daily, but on the whole, I go about my days, assuming my health will continue to serve me as it has. Very recently, however, I heard from my doctor that I need a special test where cancer is suspected. Managing my anxiety while waiting for my upcoming appointment has become my latest challenge. 
Do you know the feeling when you successfully book your flight tickets and accommodation for a vacation? No, not the feeling of excitement. An uncertain feeling in the pit of your stomach that tells you something might go wrong on the trip-- anxiety. 
Boundaries are one area in my life that I wish I was better at. I have trouble completely putting myself first, even if it becomes a detriment to myself, especially my mental wellbeing. It dawned on me though that I have set boundaries before. While I had thought I didn’t really have any, I do have boundaries I’ve set up to protect my mental health. The reason I’ve never really thought of them in that light is because I’ve struggled with feeling like a bad person by doing so.
Distraction from bipolar symptoms is something I rely on as a coping skill. In fact, it's pretty much an everyday coping skill for me. Bipolar symptom distraction may sound overly simplistic, and sometimes it is (although, not always), but sometimes the simple things just work.

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Comments

TJ DeSalvo
I'm not quite sure what I really want - that's part of the problem. I think about it a lot but I haven't made much progress. But I don't have to figure anything out immediately. So I'll keep using however much time I need to figure things out.
Enrique Williams
Guys try learning a computer language like Java or Phyton and It will change your brain for the better for life.
Hanna
Thank you so much for replying and caring.
Since I posted my original comment, I have reached out to my online friend which I am very close to. Being that they also used to struggle with self harm, their words really made me feel better. I did not know that just having someone acknowledge your situation can give so much comfort.
Yes, my school has free counseling, and I have already taken an hour! I am starting to gain hope for my future. Writing my comment on your article made me become conscious of my situation and gave me the chance to analyze my feelings. Thank you.
Mahevash Shaikh
Mahevash Shaikh
Please consult a therapist. You matter as an individual, not just to your family.