Generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) often slows you down; and when it does, it can be maddening and stressful. Anxiety can make people feel as though they're tarred and feathered, slowed down from real progress by a thick coat of heavy, gooey tar and coated in anxiety, represented by feathers. When generalized anxiety disorder slows you down, you  don't have to give up. You can move forward.

This week’s Anxiety-Schmanxiety blog is an interview with one of my very good friends. I have known her for over 10 years and she has witnessed and helped with many of my anxiety and panic attacks. In order to “shake things up,” I thought it would be eye-opening to hear about anxiety and panic disorder from a loved one’s perspective. I asked her three questions and her unedited responses are below.

To have generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) is to worry -- a lot. While true, this is an oversimplification. “Worry” doesn't really begin to describe what happens in GAD. Everyone worries; it’s part of being human. It’s a given that people will worry about their grade on a test, for example, worry about their job security when downsizing is taking place, or worry about their child’s safety when he or she is away. But with GAD, the worry becomes too much -- all-consuming, really, and typically isn't limited to a single situation. Rather than having worries in one’s life, for someone with GAD, life itself is a constant worry.

Anxiety brings with it a seemingly endless list of struggles and frustrations. A very common frustration and, for me, incredibly bothersome is anxiety’s loud, unrelenting hyperactivity. The feeling of hyperactivity is sometimes related to anxiety's racing thoughts.

Anxiety causes are complex, and living with anxiety can be agonizing. Case in point: three people are walking together down a hallway in an office. A coworker passes by and says absolutely nothing. Person A thinks, “Hmmm. He seems in a hurry. Must be busy today.” Person B thinks nothing at all about this but continues to mull over whatever she is mulling over. Person C thinks, “Oh no. He didn’t say anything to me. He must be upset. I must have offended him somehow. What do I do about this? How can I face him? Should I approach him or let him approach me? What if he doesn’t want me to work here anymore?” One situation, three different reactions. Why? What causes the anxious reaction of person C?

Mental illness is a complicated medical diagnosis in the “best” of circumstances. All people have a variety of emotions, thoughts, and habits that make up their personalities. Determining that something rises to the level of disorder and needs medical intervention isn't always straightforward. For me, the effects of co-occurring bipolar and anxiety disorders make understanding what was happening to me difficult. As far back as I can remember, I have always been paranoid, anxious, depressed, and manic. In fairness, I didn't realize I was manic; I just thought I was extremely happy. But I ended up in the psychiatric ward because I was suicidal, which is a byproduct of the extreme depression. It was during that visit that I was diagnosed with mental illness for the first time.

Perfectionism. It’s a common term in our society. We accuse people of (or, depending on one’s opinion of perfectionism, applaud people for) being perfectionists. Is perfectionism a desire to succeed and excel in one’s field? I’d call that ambition, but not necessarily perfectionism. Perfectionism includes this desire for success, yes, but it goes beyond a desire to succeed. Perfectionism is not just a desire to do well; it’s a need to do the perfect job or be the perfect person to the detriment of your wellbeing. And perfectionism contributes greatly to anxiety.

If physical health was truly the gold standard for living well, instead of just the perception, I would be the luckiest man in the world. In my adult life, I haven't had the sniffles for more than a couple days. Frankly, my biggest physical flaw is that, as a redhead, my skin burns when I pass a beach-themed vacation poster. Reality and perception are very different things. While my physical health can be defined as "pretty good for a middle aged guy," my mental health is best described as "dude, where are your pants?"

The recommended self-help strategies for coping with anxiety, particularly to conquer performance anxiety before big meetings and public speaking, seems to be "Stay calm."  However, a recent study suggests that getting excited, the exact opposite of remaining calm, may be more effective at conquering performance anxiety.

Excessive worry doesn't feel good. Both our bodies and our minds experience it in often painful ways. Anxiety frequently causes the mind to fret over a problem. When we do that, we’re thinking about the problem itself rather than a solution for it, and the problem can become quite a monster. Our thoughts have run away with it and now blow it out of proportion, turning metaphorical little mole hills into gigantic mountains. Problems seem like catastrophes.