Forcing an Alter Switch in Dissociative Identity Disorder

I would encourage this alter to come out and talk to his therapist about why he is hurting it punishing the body? Did another aler do something that he feels requires him to hurt them? Did he do something that he feels the body needs punishment for? Does he even realize that when he hurts the body then every one in that body gets hurt. What is happening within him that is causing him to want it needed to hurt the body they ask live in? I'm sure you're daughters therapist has had her get a notebook to have each alert write their thoughts/feelings on so they can communicate with one another. Before my alters could communicate in my mind the note book was very helpful. They can write in it anything they want. Now as their mom they might want to keep that private from you but I think if you respect their privacy it would be helpful for your daughter and her others. I'm assuming she had a professional TRAUMA therapist she sees once or twice a week. A regular therapist is better than none but with DID you really need a special trauma therapist.
Do you know why your daughter has DID in the first place? DID doesn't come from just regular trauma and usually the whole family needs therapy if they are willing. I pray you and other family.
members are getting help also. I'm not saying you are a problem with her healing, but I had to separate from my whole family. The trauma was a generational problem and I was there only one that wanted help. They didn't want me bringing to light the trauma they had kept secret for at least my whole life and for generations past. They would sabotage my healing after every turn. You need to address are you are dealing with your own trauma before you can help your daughter much. Please do that.

They’re called persecutors. Oftentimes just very misguided protectors. That being said, the idea of an evil and toxic alter is an offensive stereotype. And remember, as much as you may love these people, your safety comes first.

Coming from a system who has dealt with this multiple times, especially in my current marriage, just because they are a negative alter doesn’t make them a persecutor. There have been plenty of alters in my system that were toxic and did very bad things to not only me but the people in my life. Persecutors can exhibit these traits, but sometimes alters that have hard jobs like Hosts and Gatekeepers start to turn when they have been out too much, or if there is a trigger or underlying issue that is bothering them. My advice is talking to them and trying to figure out why they feel this way. why do they not like you? Do you remind them of someone who has hurt the system? Etc. I’m sorry if this doesn’t help, but I didn’t want to leave the thread with someone saying that toxic alters aren’t real, because like people, they can be very toxic.

I am in a similar position. I have helped my wife for three years through over 25 different alters with different names and personalities. There has always been a destructive alter that called herself poison but she didn’t like to be the host as she was always negative and spoken accusingly, abusively as used to say she didn’t want to be here and left quickly. About 1 year ago this poison suddenly became the host, almost all other alters stopped and she systematically began to destroy our relationship. We have children but she has decided we assess separate even though we live together. I’m almost done no matter how much I love her, it’s unbearable.

You're absolutely right and it's time we stop allowing the same cycles of repeated vile torture inflicted upon each other by each other... It's the people for the people now, people are finally starting to wake up about the freaking government and in the separation of religion and disinformation. We have all the information, now we need to put all the pieces together and stop separating the data. Shouldn't be separate it's not separate.

Uh there is a bit of truth to this comment, but totally askew. I won't explain. This is a funny thought of yours. Best to take this stuff to God. Jesus is the only way. Your compilation makes me feel like laughing.

I'm an MKultra survivor and understand much of evil government involvement. Not only presidents are involved. The problems is the New World Order and all their factions that infiltrate any organization that has any kinds of political influence. I had babies killed in Methodist, Presbyterian,Lutheran, Church of Christ, and many other protestant Churches. That doesn't mean there aren't good people in those organizations and that any religion is all bad. Now cults are different. But you have to know what a real cult is. I had not heard of this one before. Thanks for the education. Sounds like you've had personal experience. I'm sorry for your pain.

I just realized I had DID these past 3 years was full of even more trauma than when I was a kid. I started getting flashbacks of ppl and places. I couldn’t figure out why I was having weird flashbacks. The sad part is horrible ppl knew that about me and have a trigger word so they can control me. I feel like I have no control over my own body anymore. How can ppl do that to someone who has already been through so much and use me like this. I feel like I’m a puppet. I’m scared to tell my therapist or anyone cause I have flashbacks of ppl telling me to shut my mouth. The CIA taught these ppl how to do this to me. Who know how many others are forced into DID. Everyone please be safe. It’s scary losing time and not know what’s going on. Please don’t email me back. It’s not safe just pray for me please. “Woo on to those who would hurt my little one!”

“Woo on to those who will hurt my little ones” anyone who forces DID onto someone will have to feel gods wrath. Not feeling in control of my own body is a horrible feeling. Having others pull out my alters as a form of control is just wrong. Be safe out there all you DIDers.

Could someone here help me with an issue? I've been diagnosed with DID, found out about my alters and it didn't go well... They almost all hated each other... I would have graphic wars amongst then going on in my head... Like I could see them in the back of mind killing each other for control... But since none of them could die that way they would just come back and continue fighting... This went on for months I tried conversation and compromising, even dictatorship but nothing really worked... They recently went dormant fronting wise and some seem to have disappeared. My old triggers won't work anymore to bring them out unless it's a flashback or new trauma happening. I need some alters for being social and some for being productive in different situations but now they have either gone into hiding or disappeared and the ones that do talk only argue and only front to leave a situation instead of acting. I can't seem to get them to get along anymore or talk to me(peacefully) and the only person who they will talk to is in another state. I do have one alter who still fronts but she is not healthy for me and is hated by all of my other alters because she will only do one or 2 things and both are an evil and bad habit; plus she won't talk to anyone and only front when me and my other alters are exhausted from the day. She is also the only female alter as we are all males. We tried convincing her that her habits were bad things, locking her up in the darkest corners of my mind as well as killing her... but none have been able to stop her for more then a few weeks. I need to get control again over her do the others will feel safe coming out. Any suggestions on how to handle my situation?

Please consider changing to a new therapist or simply be honest with him. This will make your alters feel confident and more comfortable in your relationship with her/him.

it was ONLY when my psychologist (new one) made all of my me's feel safe and seen. He seemed to like all the parts that showed up in therapy and they were comfortable to show themselves, one by one. still working on sharing the child because G is very protective and does not yet want that. SAFETY is the key for me.

For me I was losing time, and when I would sleep I would do things, like I could see projects everywhere like usual except (if I'm being honest) of a sexual nature which isn't totally out of the question... I used to use drugs and it was common for me to lose time but I had been clean for a while for the first time and it was still happening.
So after sinking into a deep depression I started seeing a therapist and apon hearing some of my problems, looking at my past therapists notes he asked me if we could try "parts therapy" and I was like okay and he said to just let the words flow, don't try and think and don't fight. I had no clue what he was planning so I was confused and then he said "I would like to talk to the protector" and it was the weirdest flipping thing-i just started talking except my mood switched to mad and I remember feeling pissed that he was talking to me but mainly mad that my friend Megan was there which was odd because she was my comfort zone person.. She was part of this therapy because she was helping me with a lot back then... Anyway I became very upset that she was in the room and suddenly felt like she was untrustworthy for the first time ever. Words kinda just came out, I don't remember exactly what was said because it was a little hard to concentrate except that his name was dick (mine is Richard and Incase you didn't know dick is short for Richard )and that he didn't trust my friend but essentially he just was establishing that his hunch was correct and that I was of a fragmented mind.
After they talked he asked for the child and then I sat there feeling overwhelmed, after he talked to him I don't remember if there were more that he called on because I think I fell asleep at some point and woke up mid conversation... After that he would say our time was up when I would start to get drowsy and my eyes would flutter (this is what he said "I can tell you are about to fall asleep because your eyes are starting to flutter" )but later my friend would tell me this is a sign that I was about to switch, I would lose concentration and feel super tired and then pass out... But only when switching in a good mood, out of anger or fear it feels like blacking out, I don't really remember the exact point where the started and I stopped. Turns out this was going on since I was about 6 when I was taken out of my grandma's home because they suspected her husband of doing weird things with me... I swore up and down nothing happened, I remember saying "if something happened I would know"... Turns out I just never remembered what he did and still don't know.

I agree to be honest with your therapist and just tell him what you suspect. Are you seeing a trauma therapist? For me that was very important. I know a good one is hard to find. I went 20 yrs before finding a good trained trauma therapist that I could afford. She's been treating me now for 11 years for what I can afford to pay her. She is a true blessing from God. If I can get heard enough I want to do that for others someday. Because most DIDers dont usually have much money.

Hey Jessica my name is Rylee. I’ve struggled with this issue many times. Don’t be ashamed of your problem and most people are good natured. I doubt you’ll have hard time getting any one of your next door neighbors to help. It doesn’t mean you’re brushing the problem under the rug so to speak it just means that you’re dealing with your issues in the best way that you can until you can fix yourself. You shouldn’t feel the need to hide any shortcomings you feel you might have we all have them the important thing is that you’re working to get through them and as you continue to read and learn I’m sure you’ll find the answers that you’re seeking.

Jessica, I had to first get them to trust my intentions. I had to look em in the eye and tell em I loved them. that I loved them like I loved my baby (my dog she is the world to me) and after I repeated it for like 2 weeks, each night I love you to them in the eye, then I started hugging them (me) and they Flashed for me and said Hello there. now we kinda communicate and I ask them if they can help. sometimes it s hard and not easy other times it is easier. still figuring it out and scared about it really. I am not sure how many there are and who will come forward to front / drive so to speak. I am glad I found this website . i dont feel so alone with you guys and gals here.

hi Jessica, I am sorry you are going thru this. It can be very frustrating to know inside that you are fragmented and no one see it. I would say. do not force anything. be as honest as you can and if the play sessions help, try to explain to the therapist why you feel that way. also i would say try not to diagnose the internal parts of you. it gets very messy and pushes the psychologist away. Remember every DID system is different and some parts of ourselfs do not front - and sometimes my internal parts/alters do not front they more like co pilot - ask them what they want from you. and tell the therapist what they said. You are not a liar ( my mind kept telling me "what if I am lying" ) Remember you are the only one that has been witness to the internal parts of you how fragmented they are ( some are only partially defined and some are more defined with names and likes and stuff) - I only was able to work with my Psychologist after I conveyed the deep deep feeling I was 6 years old sometimes and then we talked about age regression and boom thats how I started to get to know the different parts of me. I still sometimes which My psychologist could tell when I switch because it is so stealthy sometimes and happens often. Remember all DID systems are different and they do not look like in the movies make them to be. Most Imporantly BE PATIENT - I have to repeat that to myself. because it is going to take time for my psychologist to see it all. I asked him to record our sessions so he could better see the subtleness of my changes and he said he would think about it. only recently I discovered by accident that he DID start recording and I am happy about that, nervous yet happy that maybe he WILL be able to tell when The 6 yr old is out and when G is out. You are not alone and hang in there. I am rooting for ALL of you.

Hi Mark,
My name is Natasha Tracy, I'm the Blog Manager here.
I'm sorry if anyone took Dissociative Living's work as anything other than personal experience. It certainly isn't meant to be seen outside that light. It's pretty clear whenever you look up anything about the authors what their backgrounds are.
It is very useful for those with a mental illness to read about how other people with that mental illness cope. That's what makes these blogs important.
Again, I'm sorry if these were seen in the wrong light.
- Natasha Tracy

I'm sorry to say this, but I presume you're the parent of the impressionable teenager? Perhaps you should keep an eye on your teenager and make sure they don't get in touch with information you think is so dangerous for them. Also, since the healthcare professionals you have so high in your regard seem to know very little, or very little useful, of Multiplicity. It is up to people with personal experience or those very close to them, to support each other and help each other heal. Lastly I would like to warn you, there is a lot of information out there, that you would see as very dangerous to your child. The Internet is not a playground nor a baby sitter. I suggest keeping a closer eye on your child.

Lol

Hello Mark,
I am sorry if your teenager is suffering and it sounds like you do not believe it to be a real suffering. I want to share with you that yes the internet can make it easy for people to "play doctor" on themselves. YET importantly - NO ONE in MY OWN FAMILY EVER SUSPECTED I WAS being abused from OUTSIDE the family. Also Neglect is a form of abuse that ONLY the child can determine if it is severe enough to dissociate. what I am saying it a perfectly normal LOVING family can have a child that is experiencing such internal STRESS that it is TRAUMTIC to their sense of who they are - especially if things happen between the age of 5 and 10 - for example a Flood or a hurricane or having extreme sense of being ignored or abandoned or neglected another way (like living with a narcissistic person - anyone not just family) in my case a near by explosion when I was 5 or something like happened and the chaos of the moments harmed me and then other abuses that happened to me repeatedly and NEVER NEVER did my mother or father know about it. I suffered in silence. - I hope you just get your child help - they seem to be experiencing SOMETHING and you are absolutely right that ONLY a psychologist (not a therapist pls get a PhD) can help your child. Please show Love to your teen and get them help. they are asking for help even if they do not know what they are talking about specifically... they ARE asking for help.

That sounds more like an issue you need to discuss with your daughter. Believing you have something without knowing the diagnostic criterion is her responsibility, not the writers of this blog.

I think if you're able to communicate with that alter then you could ask them to front, but if they don't want to it'd be best not to force it.

Is it generally possible? Yes. Is it wise? That is a very big no. My wife is a multiple, and I have build a very close relationship with our sisters (all parts are female). Yes, I can ask them to front, and if I do, they would most likely come. However I do not even though they have all personally given me permission to do so. Even when not fronting, they're usually listening or will hear me when I speak to whoever is fronting at that moment. And most of the time they will answer through the person who is fronting. There is very good internal communication. Switching can be very draining energy wise, and there really is no reason to make someone come to the front for no reason. But think about this, would like to be forced to do something you don't want? Most of us have a doorbell at the front door, ever felt like not answering the door? Now imagine whoever is in front of that door had the power to force you to answer the door. Does that feel good? Just remember what doesn't feel good for you, most likely doesn't feel good for someone else either. So though it is possible depending on your relationship to the headsister or brother. Just don't do it.

Not completely. When I (we) switch or force it, it's more because I'm in fear or stressing out too much. Sometimes switches happen when the person who is currently fronting goes into "little space" or "childish personality". That will then trigger either a protector, caregiver, or both to "front" (most common for me). It's different for everyone, but forcing a switch can also lead to a terrible headache.

theyll talk to you when they all want to

Dani, I recommend you journal - each day or like me several times a day. they may communicate thru you that way at first until trust is gained. also some parts of me only co pilot other parts I have not names for they just have a kind of feel to them. so yea. I recommend journaling. Also any thing that you find interests in like hobbies or intense likes - usually points the way to the alters for me. I have a distinct separateness to my likes and hobbies. so that is what it is like for me. I hope this helped

If it is DID, it did not come about when your wife cheated on you. As you suggest it was there prior, and maybe the stability of the relationship kept you together.
DID typically happens to a child under extreme duress (pain or trauma) under the age of 9, most likely younger eg under 6 or 7. After that it is not possible for the psyche to fragment. An older child who experiences extreme pain or trauma will have a different (non-DID) response, eg PTSD, Depression, Anxiety, suicidality etc. You may have all of the above, but the DID would have started very young.
Different folk have more or less memory of childhood, but it sounds like you remember almost nothing. It is not because it was long ago. Most folk remember key events at least - a fun birthday party, the day their grandma died, being in a school play, a vacation, certain friends or teachers, being yelled at by a parent, getting into a fight with a sibling, eating watermelon on a sunny day... our memory is normally retained of certain good & bad memories and other random memories in between. Some people have really good memories with lots of detail, but that's the other extreme! So having almost no memories is consistent with your memories being fractured and archived in different 'personalities for your own self protection.
This is a great website for learning more. You posted a while ago, I hope you found some information here and assistance in your world!