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Living with Anxiety

I live with a lot of pain from generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). That pain has to be released on a regular basis if I want to stay sane. Physical and/or emotional pain from GAD is very common. I have both, although my pain symptoms are more about emotional anguish than physical distress. But, the emotional pain of generalized anxiety is very real, as real as any physical symptom. I have to release some of that GAD pain on a daily basis, or I'll be destroyed by it. Here are some thoughts about how I release the pain of my own generalized anxiety disorder.
Anxiety disorder can damage your health in subtle, hidden ways that are not immediately apparent. While most of us are familiar with the more obvious health risks associated with anxiety disorder (sleep disorders and mental health, for example), anxiety can chip away at your physical health in little ways that can have a significant, cumulative impact over time. There are many hidden ways that anxiety disorder can damage your health.
Can childhood abuse cause anxiety disorder? That's a question many with mental illness have asked themselves. Anxiety disorder is a primary or comorbid mental health issue that affects millions of people all over the world, so it's a natural thing to wonder about. But, can anxiety disorder actually be caused by childhood abuse?
As people with anxiety, it's easy for us to succumb to the idea that everything we do has to be perfect. Think about it. It makes sense. If you believe, as I often do, that you're a failure, that people just generally don't like you, and that you're basically incapable of doing anything right, then why wouldn't you become a perfectionist? It's an understandable, albeit maladaptive, response to feelings of fear, loneliness, and alienation. But, there are three big problems with trying to be perfect: it's impossible, it paralyzes you, and it makes your life a living hell. Here's how to escape the hell of perfectionistic paralysis.
Anxiety disorder is a complex beast that affects more than just your emotions. It's seen primarily as an mood disorder, and while that is certainly true, anxiety has a strong mental and physiological component as well. This week, we'll explore one of the questions everyone with anxiety has asked themselves at some point: why does anxiety disorder make you so tired?
A lot of my days with anxiety disorder start something like this: I wake up, then ask myself why I stayed up so late (again) the night before. I'm sleep-deprived, my eyes are bleary, and my thoughts are a grey, swirling blob of worry. I have a powerful feeling I'm forgetting something, or a lot of things (Reduce Morning Anxiety With These 5 Useful Tips). Then I groan loudly at the prospect of having to drag myself through another seemingly pointless day of my pathetic existence. This is often followed by a black wave of despair, and a strong desire to crawl back into bed -- maybe forever. It is not easy to plan a day with anxiety disorder.
We're right in the midst of the holiday season, and lots of people are coping with holiday anxiety. During times like these, sometimes all we can do is hunker down and manage chronic anxiety symptoms by putting one foot in front of the other. During these times, I exist in terms of hours and minutes instead of days. Often, I exist moment by moment, sometimes, breath by breath.
The holiday season of 2013 was the worst of my life. I was grieving the end of a relationship. I was mourning my independence because I had to move back in with my parents. I was suicidal. I was broke. All in all, I felt like a disaster. But I got through it. I wasn't sure I was going to, but I did. It was, however, one of the loneliest times of my life.
Do you ever have days when you swear people are acting hostile, rude, or just downright weird? I'm a cashier at a grocery store, so I see all kinds of social behavior "in the wild," so to speak. And yes, I'm aware that my anxiety can warp my perception of other people, but that can't completely explain how some people act on occasion.
This week, the walls of anxiety are closing in. The world appears absolutely insane, and I feel like a dog in a plastic kennel that's too small, pacing and turning in an ever-tightening circle. I have no anxiety tips, tricks, or techniques for you this week, because I feel like absolute crap. I seem to always make videos or audio posts when I'm in crisis too. I don't know why that is.