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The two words a parent dreads to hear each summer from the lips of their child is: “I’m bored.” After the novelty of summer has worn off and the swimming pool has lost its appeal, boredom has a way of settling into your home like an unwelcome house guest.
Some parents try to keep boredom at bay by scheduling and filling every single block of time with a variety of play dates, day camps, and music lessons. While a bit of structure is a good thing, I wonder what ever happened to the long, lazy summer days of childhoods past.
Sometimes I'd wake up in the morning, wondering how the bed could hold the weight of it all. Before opening my eyes, the fear that I might experience anxiety today overwhelmed me. I felt stuck and stupid for not knowing how not to be afraid. I struggled with seemingly simple things like going to the store because those things seemed like asking for trouble.
I'd fret and fidget, and do just about anything to avoid thinking about next time. That's anticipatory anxiety, and it's common to most every single person with an anxiety disorder.
A reader asks "How do I stop myself from making social gaffes?" Good question. I've got three solutions for you.
Being diagnosed as bipolar is a scary thing. It can happen in a number of ways, but if you’re like most of us, you probably didn’t know what was wrong for a long time, then you were misdiagnosed and then sometime later, you got the moniker of “bipolar”. Few of us go right from episode to bipolar diagnosis.
But regardless of how you got here, what do you do next?
Family-Based Maudsley Therapy Is Not a Do-It-Yourself Approach
There is a mistaken idea out there that Maudsley treatment for eating disorders is something parents can just decide to do without professional support. While I know families who do take on the re-feeding (weight restoration) responsibilities, I think it is important to keep in mind that this is only one part of the approach, and why it works well for so many families.
Recently, someone directed me to this article on parents who give up custody to get help for their mentally ill children. It hits hard now, as I live in a state that is about to vote on its own renunciation of the so-called "Obamacare" plan.
We celebrate people living with deadly diseases and chronic conditions, and great strides are being made toward prolonging and improving their lives. But we still vilify people who live with psychiatric illnesses? Am I the only person who thinks this is a problem?
If you struggle with ADHD and insomnia, then you may be able to relate to my pain. I'm a raving night zombie, but I've come up with a plan to help me break the chain. Now, if only I would follow it.
When most of us were young we learned that life isn’t fair. Yes, that boy got a bigger slice of cake than you. Yes, that girl gets better grades than you even though she doesn’t study. Yes, that’s boy’s imaginary friend’s clothes are nicer than yours. Life isn’t fair.
But when I was diagnosed with bipolar at 20, my definition of “unfair” had to be reviewed.
Maybe because I was once diagnosed with minimal brain dysfunction, I don’t find the newer label of ADHD so bad. MBD sounds like something the cast of Monty Python and the Flying Circus came up with. ADHD on the other hand sounds somewhat more descriptive and less post lobotomy-ish. This is why I was so surprised to encounter somebody yesterday so embarrassed by the ADHD label, they censored me. Is someone else's ADHD self-stigma something I need to better understand?
It's Summertime, and the livin’s...easy?
Maybe not. It used to be, until I became the parent of a school-aged "MI" child.
Well, eventually, the depression demons took hold and he told me on August 5th 2023 that he decided he wanted to just move to MT and isolate himself from everyone. He had been offered a free place to stay if he did some maintenance. He is very handy and that type of situation was very ideal because it was flexible; he only worked on things on the days he was physically up to it.
We talked every night like "normal" up until he left on April 14th 2023. We had a long distance relationship then and so I didnt get to see him in person often and didnt see him that last week. He told me one last time that he loved me and he was sorry to hurt me and I have not heard from him since. He didnt even tell his parents or sister he was leaving.
I still love him as much as I ever have even though it has been over a year since we last spoke. I just had dinner with a close friend who was always very critical of him because often he would have to cancel plans last minute due to the Crohn's or because he would go dark for weeks at a time. She told me tonight that he is a selfish person and that if he truly loved me he would have gotten help for the depression. Oddly, she has been depressed before and suicidal which you would think would make her more understanding. I asked her if when she contiplated suicide was she selfish? She said yes. I said but are you a selfish person and she said no. I said that was the same for him. Sure him leaving me and his family was "selfish" but at his core, is he selfish? Absolutely not. She thinks because she was able to conquer her depression that if he really loved me, he would have fought his depression. It makes me sad to think she cant see the amazing guy that is buried under the depression. I know, without a doubt, if he did get a handle on the depression, that he would NOT be selfish at all. It is hard to understand why others cant see the true person under the depression.
I hope those that are struggling know that not everyone will abandon you in your time of suffering. There are people out there that see the real you and would do anything to help.
I encourage all those suffering from depression to not only tell your loved ones what you are going through, but also to seek professional help. And for those of you who love a person suffering from depression, have compassion and understanding for their struggle. Know they do not intentionally hurt you and deep down they still love you even if they cant show it.
Thanks for reading.
p.s. I also struggle with depression and anxiety but I did get help and between medication and coping techniques, I am able to be myself again.
From the story you told, it sounds like you know when your partner's alters switch.
I'm sorry this was written in the first/second person. But maybe apply this to your situation with a grain of salt.