Psychiatric Issues Deserve a Place in Educators' Training

Monday morning, my phone rang. I recognized the number as Bob's school. With a groan, I tapped the "ignore" button on my phone and waited for them to leave a message, hoping it was just the cafeteria manager letting me know (for the 98th time) Bob's lunch account is in the red.

No such luck. Instead, it was the school counselor, calling to tell me Bob was in the office with the principal, and she had asked the counselor to call me to see if I could come to the school and sit down to talk with her and Bob.

Talk? About what? I wasn't sure what the point of a meeting was, and I expressed that, trying not to sound annoyed (I was). I could talk to Bob until my vocal cords shriveled up and blew away like dust--it wouldn't accomplish anything. Wasn't that painfully obvious?

Was the point to simply have me present in hopes I could calm Bob down? I noted my presence would likely do anything but. Indeed, it would likely only escalate his primal response. If he had reached the point of crawling under tables and chairs--trying to "escape" the situation--there wasn't much to do but keep him contained and wait it out.

It's disturbing to hear your child--almost 10 and in fourth grade--is behaving in this manner. It's almost more disturbing to realize the adults in charge have no idea how to handle the situation. Even worse, that the adults in charge appear to be afraid of your child. In addition to all his wonderful, positive qualities, Bob is very intelligent and highly manipulative--if he knows he's frightened you, you can forget ever having control.

What would happen if we finally stopped pretending mental illness in children doesn't exist, and started preparing the professionals who work with children for handling situations such as this? We are finally beginning to give educators information (albeit limited) about autism spectrum disorders and other "learning" disabilities--but what about psychiatric disorders? When will we finally figure out it's not just a matter of kids "acting out?"

That seemed to be the opinion of the counselor and principal--that Bob was simply acting out and, if Mean Old Mom were to arrive, he would be frightened into submission. What they failed to understand is this was a biophysical response and had nothing to do with Bob's sense of right and wrong. In his "right mind," Bob can tell you exactly how he's supposed to conduct himself at school. Out of it, it's a whole different ballgame.

I don't expect educators to raise my child, and I understand there is a limit to what they should have to deal with. It would be nice, however, if they had the proper tools at their disposal to at least meet us--the parents trying to accommodate everyone's needs--halfway.