Feelings of Vulnerability as a Verbal Abuse Victim

Being the victim of verbal abuse can create vulnerabilities in several areas of life. I know that I still experience negative feelings of vulnerability even though I am no longer in an abusive situation. Thankfully, I am learning how to properly be vulnerable without making myself a target for further abuse. 

Vulnerability Is Common 

Because abusers tend to do everything they can to maintain continuous control over their victims, feelings of vulnerability are common. Even after the abuse stops, individuals may not know how to move past these negative emotions without using effective healing strategies.

For many victims, this vulnerability is easy for abusers to detect and can attract similar circumstances later in life. Unfortunately, this situation was common for me as I bounced from one abusive relationship to another, believing there was no possibility of a healthy dynamic. 

I had years where I tried to hide my vulnerability so I would not attract similar relationships. During this phase of my life, without seeking help, I believed that avoiding vulnerability would be the best way to protect myself. 

Vulnerability Can Be Healthy for Abuse Victims

Of course, vulnerability is not always bad. This emotional state can help individuals connect with others and is a sign of strength and good mental health in the right circumstances. Although in some abuse cases, it can seem like a sign of weakness, victims can turn it around and allow their vulnerable state to work to their benefit. 

Being vulnerable to my close friends and family members helped me process my abusive past and move forward on my healing journey. I felt less alone in my situation and connected with others who had similar circumstances. 

It took me years of therapy and learning how to use several strategies to accept vulnerability as a positive aspect of my life rather than a negative dynamic. One source that helped me dive deeper into this subject was Brene Brown's book, The Power of Vulnerability: Teachings of Authenticity, Connection, and Courage.​​​​​

Reading this book opened my eyes to a world I didn't know existed, and I began the search for learning about healthy vulnerability with my therapist. However, finding a healthy balance in your life may not come from reading a book; however, knowing that resources and information are available for you can kickstart your healing journey into a better emotional state after suffering verbal abuse.