My Bad Days Reignite the Aftereffects of Verbal Abuse

July 7, 2022 Cheryl Wozny

As a victim of verbal abuse, I've slowly realized that I may never be totally free of the aftereffects of verbal abuse. Although I can spend hours, weeks, and years in therapy, there will always be a small part of it that is meshed inside my mind. I can use all the helpful tips and tricks my therapist gives me to handle that nagging voice I hear from my past, but it often doesn't work on my bad days. 

The Aftereffects of Verbal Abuse Cause My Bad Days to Spiral Quickly

I know that I am a capable and knowledgeable person who can make responsible decisions throughout my life. However, my common sense and self-esteem go out the window when I face a bad day. I hear those nagging thoughts that echo, I am not good enough, I don't do enough, and I shouldn't bother completing a task I set out to do. 

On a regular day, I am grounded enough to remember that my old thoughts are leaking through to my new mind. I can quickly reverse these notions and continue my day without skipping a beat. However, these thoughts fuel a spiraling depression that takes me and my motivation with it on bad days. Old, familiar depressive thoughts creep into my focus on these dark days. I find it challenging to snap out of the cloud of low self-worth and anxiety that follows me, even years after leaving the abuse. 

Aftereffects of Verbal Abuse Does Not Take Away My Choice

Essentially, I face two options when I have a bad day and am spiraling into a dark, depressive state. I have often tried both when approaching this situation. Sometimes I shut down, retreat, and avoid expelling any effort into the things I need to do. Other times, I find a small ounce of motivation and use it to help dig myself out of the dark hole that was my active environment for so many years. 

Unfortunately, I am successful at moving forward some days, but that is not always the case. On my bad days, when I retreat, I remind myself that if I go to sleep, tomorrow is a new day, full of different possibilities. I always feel better the next day once I get some sleep. 

Today, when I felt myself spiraling, I was successful at catching myself and grabbing onto a tiny flicker of motivation to complete a necessary task. And although I did not finish my day as I wanted it to when I started, I am being kind to myself. 

I did some of the essential tasks I needed to tackle today, and I will start fresh tomorrow. My past may have shaped how I am today, but I am not my past. 

APA Reference
Wozny, C. (2022, July 7). My Bad Days Reignite the Aftereffects of Verbal Abuse, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, June 17 from

Author: Cheryl Wozny

Cheryl Wozny is a freelance writer and published author of several books, including mental health resources for children titled, Why Is My Mommy So Sad? and Why is My Daddy So Sick? Writing has become her way of healing and helping others. Find Cheryl on TwitterInstagramFacebook, and her blog

Leave a reply