Facing Verbal Abuse Made Me an Angry Person

October 5, 2023 Cheryl Wozny

Initially, facing verbal abuse made me angry. Each individual can have many different experiences when facing verbal abuse. These circumstances can create a multitude of side effects, ranging from mild to extreme. In some cases, victims of verbal abuse may be angry, lash out at others, and continue the unhealthy cycle. 

I Felt Trapped In Verbal Abuse and Angry that I Couldn't Change My Abuser

I experienced verbal abuse both in childhood and as an adult. Each instance was unique, giving me different emotions and coping mechanisms. With professional therapy, I realized verbal abuse made me angry for many years. My first recollection of being angry was from my frustration as a child. I felt unloved and unwanted, making me try harder to get my abuser to love me or at least like me enough not to be so mean. 

Being angry because of verbal abuse continued into my adulthood, causing me to seek out partners who were also verbally abusive. Unfortunately, my adult years were filled with people-pleasing behaviors. I thought if I could make my abuser happy, it would create a better environment, but I was wrong. The verbal abuse continued, regardless of what I did to change the situation. 

I Was Angry with My Abusers After I Left Verbal Abuse

Through therapy, I realized my anger was still very prevalent, even as I lived a life without verbal abuse. During this time, I felt validated in my feelings. Everyone I talked to saw how verbally abusive these people were to me and sympathized with my situation. But, this acceptance from my friends and family wasn't enough to disperse the deep-rooted anger from verbal abuse I still carried with me. 

Each instance I retold made me more upset, fueling the negative emotions I had manifested for so long. It was not easy to let go of my verbal abuse-related anger because I believed I had earned the right to be mad. As a result, the verbal abuse I had left was still very much alive inside of my head and wouldn't go away until I learned how to manage my emotions differently. 

Using Therapy to Stop My Anger from Verbal Abuse

Early on, I knew I didn't want to continue the cycle of verbal abuse that I had experienced. However, I was unsure how to build healthy relationships on my own. Thankfully, years of therapy gave me the tools and resources I needed to turn the corner away from my verbal abuse side effects

These days, I am slower to anger. I do get frustrated and angry sometimes, but these instances are not as often or as extreme as they once were. And when I have bad days where I lose my temper and let my anger take over, I regroup and learn from my mistakes. No one is perfect, and I will face days where anger creeps in. But I know now how to minimize this effect of verbal abuse and lead a healthier life with better relationships. 

APA Reference
Wozny, C. (2023, October 5). Facing Verbal Abuse Made Me an Angry Person, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, June 15 from

Author: Cheryl Wozny

Cheryl Wozny is a freelance writer and published author of several books, including mental health resources for children titled, Why Is My Mommy So Sad? and Why is My Daddy So Sick? Writing has become her way of healing and helping others. Find Cheryl on TwitterInstagramFacebook, and her blog

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