Anxiety and Overthinking Everything

Anxiety and overthinking tend to be evil partners. One of the horrible hallmarks of any type of anxiety disorder is the tendency to overthink everything. The anxious brain is hypervigilant, always on the lookout for anything it perceives to be dangerous or worrisome. I've been accused of making problems where there aren't any. To me, though, there are, indeed, problems. Why? Because anxiety causes me to overthink everything. Anxiety makes us overthink everything in many different ways, and the result of this overthinking isn't helpful at all. Fortunately, anxiety and overthinking everything doesn't have to be a permanent part of our existence.

Ways Anxiety Causes Overthinking

An effect of any type of anxiety is overthinking everything. There are common themes to the way anxiety causes overthinking. Perhaps this generic list will remind you of specific racing thoughts you experience and help you realize that you're not alone in overthinking everything because of anxiety.

  • Obsessing over what we should say/should have said/did say/didn't say (common in social anxiety)
  • Worrying incessantly about who we are and how we are measuring up to the world (common in social and performance anxiety)
  • Creating fearful what-if scenarios about things that could go wrong for ourselves, loved ones, and the world (common in generalized anxiety disorder)
  • Wild, imagined results of our own wild, imagined faults and incompetencies (all anxiety disorders)
  • Fear of having a panic attack in public and possibly thinking that you can't leave home because of it (panic disorder with or without agoraphobia)
  • Worrying about a multitude of obsessive thoughts, sometimes scary ones and thinking about them constantly (obsessive-compulsive disorder)
  • Thinking -- overthinking -- a tumbling chain of worries, vague thoughts, and specific thoughts (all anxiety disorders)

Result of Anxiety and Overthinking

With anxiety, not only are these thoughts (and more) running through our brains, but they are always running through our brains, non-stop, endlessly. Like a gerbil hooked up to an endless drip of an energy drink, they run and run and wheel around in one place, going absolutely nowhere. Day and night, the wheel squeaks.

Over-thinking everything is a horrid part of anxiety disorders. Over-thinking everything creates more anxiety. This tip helps stop over-thinking. Check it out.

Anxiety and overthinking everything makes us both tired and wired. One result of the thinking too much that comes with anxiety is that we are often left feeling physically and emotionally unwell. Having these same anxious messages run through our head everywhere we go takes its toll.

Further, another dangerous result of anxiety and overthinking everything is that we start to believe what we think. After all, if we think it, it's real, and if we think it constantly, it's very real. Right? No. This is a trick anxiety plays. Anxiety causes overthinking, but with anxiety, these thoughts aren't always trustworthy.

You have the power and the ability to interfere in anxiety's overthinking everything. It's a process that involves many steps, but a step you can take right now to slow down that gerbil is to have something with you or around you to divert your attention. Rather than arguing with your thoughts or obsessing over them, gently shift your attention onto something else, something neutral. By thinking about something insignificant, you weaken anxiety's ability to cause you to overthink everything.

I explain this further in the below video. I invite you to tune in.

Let's connect. I blog here. Find me on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and Pinterest. My mental health novels, including one about severe anxiety, are here.

APA Reference
Peterson, T. (2015, December 31). Anxiety and Overthinking Everything, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, July 20 from

Author: Tanya J. Peterson, MS, NCC, DAIS

Tanya J. Peterson is the author of numerous anxiety self-help books, including The Morning Magic 5-Minute Journal, The Mindful Path Through Anxiety, 101 Ways to Help Stop Anxiety, The 5-Minute Anxiety Relief Journal, The Mindfulness Journal for Anxiety, The Mindfulness Workbook for Anxiety, and Break Free: Acceptance and Commitment Therapy in 3 steps. She has also written five critically acclaimed, award-winning novels about life with mental health challenges. She delivers workshops for all ages and provides online and in-person mental health education for youth. She has shared information about creating a quality life on podcasts, summits, print and online interviews and articles, and at speaking events. Tanya is a Diplomate of the American Institution of Stress helping to educate others about stress and provide useful tools for handling it well in order to live a healthy and vibrant life. Find her on her website, Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

June, 23 2017 at 10:58 am

Hi I'm 17 and recently I've been suffering from some severe panic attack cause by overthinking. I have a boyfriend whom I've been dating for a little over a year now and I love him so much. But every time I say that to him my anxiety and the little voice in my head will tell me "well maybe you don't" and "maybe you like other people" things to that extent. When I have these thoughts I'll have a complete mental breakdown and anxiety/panic attack because I know these things aren't true but I can't stop thinking them. It's get to the point where I tell myself I don't even have anxiety and I'm just a bad person which will also trigger panic attacks. This does not happen very often it happened about eight months ago and again recently he makes me so happy and I just want to know how to stop these thoughts so I can just enjoy my relationship.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

June, 23 2017 at 12:34 pm

You're most definitely not a bad person (one indication is that just the thought of being a bad person can trigger panic attacks). Also, you're not bad in questioning your thoughts about your boyfriend/being with your boyfriend. Relationships are huge, and they can be strange for adults who have been trying to navigate relationships for decades. Part of what you're doing at 17 is thinking about your life ahead of you. What do you want? What don't you want? It's natural to think of your relationship with your boyfriend, too. That doesn't mean you don't love him. The anxiety this causes is very real and understandable. Finding someone to talk to about this, a trusted adult or friend, could be very helpful.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

November, 11 2022 at 10:41 am

Oh my god, I’m literally in the same exact situation as you. I know I love him so much and when I’m with him, these thoughts and feelings disappear. When I’m not with him though, I get similar thoughts to you and it makes me panic. It’s terrible, I overthink everything, every little thought. It’s been consuming my mind for a while

June, 22 2017 at 11:10 pm

I feel so overwhelmed all the time one minute I'm fine the next I'm worried about the kids the bills what to make for dinner I can't talk to my husband about how I feel and it sucks I have been dealing with anxiety for a long time but at this moment I'm not in control anymore I can't sleep anymore I eat every once and a while. Plus I hate going to work I hate being around people I just can't deal with alot of things right now I just want a break from everything I love my kids so much but sometimes I feel like I'm not the right mother for them and I don't want them to be like me sad and lonely... even when the room is full!!!

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

June, 23 2017 at 12:25 pm

Hi Ana,
That is a lot to deal with, and it would increase anyone's anxiety (and probably create new anxiety if none existed). I think that perhaps without realizing it you might have hit on a starting point. You referred to wanting a break. That is completely normal and okay and doesn't make you a bad mother. We all need breaks. They're a vital part of our wellbeing, including anxiety management. You might try working even short breaks (5 minutes) throughout the day. Go to a place where you are alone and have some quiet. I don't know if you've heard of the humorist and life columnist Erma Bombeck. She used to say that she'd hide on the floor of the backseat of her car just to have a break from her kids, who she loved dearly. Try taking several small breaks each day and breath deeply, read a few pages of a book, breathe in scented oils, or anything healthy that you find pleasurable and relaxing. This won't solve all of your struggles in an instant, but it's a good start to taking control of your world. Also, visiting in person with a therapist can be incredibly helpful in sorting things out and making plans. By working at this in pieces, maybe starting with breaks, you can overcome it.

June, 21 2017 at 3:55 am

Social media is a big problem for me. Everytime my boyfriend likes a photo of a female I am scared he will leave and no matter how much he tells me it's just a like I still think the worse and I have horrendous panic attacks. I just want it to stop.

Alex Hill
June, 21 2017 at 12:32 am

To be perfectly blunt, I'm not sure the article really helped me. It's not that the advice isn't good, because it is. See, I also struggle with depression along with anxiety. With overthinking I try to distract myself, but my depression steals all of my motivation and energy, so I laze about all day, overthinking. My anxiety seems to be social anxiety, as I have trouble accepting or even fathoming that my friends really like me and like having me around. What would you reccomend to someome like myself?

Tori Melbrook
June, 20 2017 at 10:05 am

Hi, my name is Tori, I recently was on birth control for 5months. I stopped taking my birth control 2 and 1/2 weeks ago. I had had some mood swings while on it but when I started my 5th pack I started developing severe anxiety and intrusive thoughts along with some depression. The day the anxiety hit was the day I started my period on the pill. This period came 2weeks early and lasted 10days. My face also started to break out while on the pill. I have had issues with anxiety in the past but learned how to cope with it and hadn't had any problems with it in over 4years. I was wondering if you know anything about the link between birth control and anxiety. I will say that everyday seems a little bit better. I am taking supplements to help my hormones rebalance. I have also started practicing CBT and exposure therapy along with mindfulness. If you have any knowledge regarding this issue please let me know. I do not want to go on any anxiety medication because I feel like my brain can learn how to reprogram itself. Thank you so much !

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

June, 21 2017 at 11:54 pm

Hi Tori,
A pharmacist or medical doctor should have great information about the correlation between anxiety and birth control. I've seen mixed reports on how much hormonal birth control causes/contributes to anxiety. It does seem that there is a relationship, which makes sense given the fact that hormones in birth control seem to affect neurotransmitters like serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine. You're wise in listening to your body and mind. Everyone is unique and has different responses to birth control and other medications. And speaking of medication, anxiety medication can be helpful for some but it's not for everyone. It is definitely possible to reduce and manage anxiety without it.

Edgar Williams
June, 14 2017 at 1:04 pm

I always build up the worst thing that could happen at anytime with a client in my business and it never turns out to be even close to what I have worried myself about for days on end before the appointment! Even on weekends my anxiety and thoughts just plague me! I have to learn how to get away from this thinking pattern somehow! Loved your article!

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

June, 14 2017 at 2:36 pm

Hi Edgar,
I think many, many people will relate to your comment -- myself included! It is absolutely a thinking pattern, and awareness of it is the first step in breaking away from it. Once you're aware (which you seem to be), you can start to intentionally turn your thoughts to positive, realistic things. It's a process -- and one that works! Thank you for your comment.

June, 9 2017 at 10:06 pm

Thank you so much! I recently got out of an argument with my boyfriend, and it was pretty bad, he concluded everything was fine now today but now my anxiety is always giving me the worst case senreos, such as what if he doesn't love me? What if he's faking? What if he actually wants to leave?" those thoughts make me cry as well as go about stir crazy, just wish me luck on getting over this, it's such a mental battle, and no matter how much reassurance and effection he gives me, it always seems to not helo after he leaves for the day, it's stressful needless to say. ?

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

June, 11 2017 at 4:27 pm

Hi Mariah,
Anxiety and overthinking, creating worse-case scenarios, etc. is definitely stressful. Sometimes it can be a helpful start to remind yourself (every time!) that just because anxiety puts a thought in your head doesn't mean it's accurate. Turn your attention to the evidence on the outside. It's a process, but it's a do-able process!

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Elissa Murphy
June, 21 2017 at 4:47 pm

I have that same problem and have found if You're not careful you create a self fulfilling prophecy. What I mean is your constant worrying changes how you think and therefore how you act. The outcome is you create striff that wouldn't be there if you thoughts were more positive. This extra tension often drives a wedge into the relationship.
Looking at it in a more positive and realistic light does help. If he's over the previous issue, as he says, then all is well. If he still has a problem, only time will tell. The worst that can happen is he moves on. Although painful, all the worry in the world won't change the outcome.

Rob B
June, 3 2017 at 1:36 am

Really useful thank you for the advise. So difficult to switch off. Always imagine the worst situations at work and the reflection on me...switching off at weekends very hard

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

June, 3 2017 at 3:16 pm

Hi Rob,
Thank you for your comment. I agree with you that switching off overthinking is difficult to do. Imagining the worst situations in one area tends to transfer to other areas, too. It truly doesn't have to be this way forever. Thankfully!

Nicholas Tesla
May, 20 2017 at 6:34 pm

This post was helpful in distinguishing between social anxiety, which I've dealt with, but also performance anxiety. I didn't have a word for the latter, so it's helpful for me to journal and pin down when my anxiety is arising, pinpointing symptoms, and figuring out strategies for managing my symptoms. Thank you.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

May, 22 2017 at 11:30 am

Hi Nicholas,
I'm really glad that this was helpful. Sometimes sorting out and giving words to what we're experiencing is incredibly helpful. I think journaling is a great way to untangle things so they can be dealt with. Other readers will likely appreciate reading what works for someone else. Thank you for commenting and sharing!

May, 17 2017 at 12:36 pm

It's a shame you don't have a donate button! I'd certainly donate to this fantastic blog! I suppose for now i'll settle for bookmarking and adding your RSS feed to my Google account. I look forward to fresh updates and will share this website with my Facebook group. Talk soon!

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Nicholas Tesla
May, 20 2017 at 6:36 pm

I agree with Clayton. I'd donate too. Normally, I wouldn't post but this blog was so good, I couldn't help it.

May, 13 2017 at 10:43 pm

Do you think the mind can give you symptoms that aren't really there? For instance... Say you found a lump under your ribs while in the shower that you never noticed before. Right before you found the lump you had no symptoms and could not feel it unless you touched it with your hand. You go to the DR and Dr confirms yes there is something there and you start to worry over it right away and within the next few days you start being able to feel it without touching it. Like feeling something on your body that wasn't there before. Not imaginary feelings though real ones and just uncomfortable and awkward. Then it starts hurting here and there. I don't know what to think. I don't know if my worrying over it ius causing the symptoms because I had no symptoms before I felt it or if it's gotten bigger. I have an appointment with general surgeon on May 22nd.
I am asking because I suffered health anxiety for many years but have had it under control for the most part for the last 5 or 6 years but now since I found this lump it's back.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

May, 15 2017 at 5:21 pm

Hi Tanya,
The mind can do all sorts of things! Including being obnoxious. The very short and oversimplified answer is yes, the mind can imagine symptoms that feel very real. I've read that medical students commonly feel the symptoms of diseases they're studying. That said, symptoms can be caused by an underlying condition. Consulting with your doctor and the general surgeon is wise. That way, they can take care of a problem that is really there, or they can rule out problems and reassure you that nothing is wrong. Because you successfully reduced health anxiety once, the chances are very high that you will do it again once you take care of this matter. And it's very natural to worry about symptoms. That is the mind at work in a positive way, prompting you to take action. Which you're doing! then you'll be informed and know what to do next. I hope everything turns out well and that you get a good report.

May, 19 2017 at 11:13 pm

Thank you for your reply. I suffered anxiety/health anxiety and panic attacks after my heart arrhythmias were mis diagnosed as being "anxiety when I was 20 years old. I suffered many years and then one day a bulb went off in my head and I knew I had to do something. Health anxiety is probably the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with in my life thus far. It had me convinced I had every single deadly disease/virus around. Constantly running back and forth to the Drs, everyone in the emergency room knew me by name! When I finally got it under control I still had some things in the back of my mind, like the amount of x rays and cat scans I have had that weren't needed. For days I would beart myself up and make myself sick because my mind would be saying "your gonna die from cancer one day from the amount of scans you had and you can blame no one but yourself. I also have OCD so throw that in the mix and it's a dreadful party. I stopped going to the Drs even if I was sick. I didn't want medication nor anymore scans. If I started thinking I had some disease I just heard about, I would make myself busy to keep from thinking about it and little by little those paranoid thoughts started to happen less and less until they were all but gone. Problem now is every time something does actually go wrong with my body, my health anxiety sometimes creeps back in for a short while. People who have never experienced it have no idea what it's like. It will literally suck all the happiness from your life. When I was 20 years old I had 2 young ones and my husband had to do everything for them because all I did was sleep or be glued to the computer looking up symptoms. I missed out on a lot with my 1st daughter when she was a toddler because of anxiety. I pray for everyone who goes through it. It's hard and a lot of times people around us just don't understand unfortunately... sorry for my rambling lol

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

May, 22 2017 at 11:37 am

Hi Tanya,
Health anxiety (any anxiety for that matter) is definitely hard, and the problem becomes worse when others don't understand. Many times, people aren't trying to be insensitive. It's just that unless you've fully experienced it, all of the thoughts and emotions and the way anxiety affects your actions, it's difficult to grasp. Thanks for sharing a bit of your story. It will help others know they aren't alone and even help people communicate with others. It's fantastic that you have taken charge and discovered ways to get past this horrible health anxiety. Even when anxiety has been calm for a while, triggers can make it flare up again. Don't beat yourself up for this. Just remind yourself what it is and return to the skills that helped you overcome it before. Keep doing what works!

May, 8 2017 at 10:51 pm

This is rk.I realized myself suffering from anxiety and overthinking .let me tell what's always going on my mind.2years ago I crushed on one girl.but after that I slowly came to know that girl committed. I disappointed more on that because still I didn't proposed. My mind often that thing very too much.days after my mind accepted that's not only girl in universe. But still thinking ,thinking ,thinking. Actually if somebody take about that girl my emotional very very worse.Iam thinking myself as hero on same story.same while that's happen different my own story on everyday.iam thinking like she come one day and.she thinking about me that things are I can't avoid even if I very busy.iam taking drugs for depression also.pls give some advice to idiot thought.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

May, 9 2017 at 12:00 pm

Hello, RK,
First and very important: you don't have an "idiot thought." Our thoughts are what they are. When they're so bothersome, of course we want to do something about them, but that doesn't mean that you or your thoughts are idiots! Sometimes we get stuck in events and thoughts, and that can cause things like anxiety and depression. Have you ever heard of an approach to therapy called acceptance and commitment therapy? The focus is on accepting things that can't be changed and taking action to move forward toward the life you want. It's very helpful for many people in many situations, and it sounds like your situation could be a good fit for ACT. You can read about it on your own just by Googling it, and there are also therapists who practice ACT. It might be something to consider learning about to see if you think it's a good fit for you.

May, 8 2017 at 3:51 pm

No sure what's going on with me I think I'm suffererinf from a lot of things I think I have OCD and I have anxiety I always feel like someone is talking about me I think other can smell me I will brush my teeth or take a shower If I feel like someone is sniffing around me it's really taking a toll on me I just want to learn to control it and his have a thought that's it all in my head and others never understand they just think your crazy or do things for attention I never use to be this way so everyone around me is making it seem worst then it really is i go to the doctor often because I always think something is wrong with me I diagnose myself with all these problems for my doctor to tell me nothing is wrong with and I don't smell but I don't think nobody want to tell me the truth can that. E apart of my anxiety have you heard of a phobia that causes those issue help me I just want to know how to not let others affect my way of living my mood can easily be ruined by something so unnecessary or just from me overthinking a situation

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

May, 9 2017 at 11:53 am

Hi Michelle,
It's good that you have seen a doctor to make sure that you are physically healthy. There are other people you can see now for help, such as a counselor, therapist, or psychologist. A mental health specialist can evaluate you, knows the right questions to ask, and can work with you to overcome what is bothering you. This could be phobia-based, or it could be something different. You might want to look up body dysmorphic disorder to see if anything fits with your experiences. I encourage you to seek help, as you don't have to live with these feelings forever.

May, 8 2017 at 2:49 pm

May be I'm thinking too much... My frnds are not liking my behaviour nowadays ... They are thinking that I'm not giving them importance as new frnds came into my life... I'm leading to depression, severe head ache, chest pain (left side) some times, I'm not getting sleep properly... What's my problem..pls ans me :(

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

May, 9 2017 at 11:42 am

Hello Austin,
The things you describe can definitely be symptoms of anxiety and depression -- including changes in behavior. With new symptoms like this, it's often wise to consult a doctor, as these symptoms can be part of other things, too. A doctor can help treat anxiety or refer you to someone that is a good fit. Something important to realize: there isn't a "problem" with who you are. You are experiencing something that is causing problems for you, but you yourself aren't a problem.

May, 9 2017 at 11:11 pm

Thank you madam ?

April, 28 2017 at 6:25 am

hi ,
I tend to overthink and always think people are talking about me
for example i can be standing somewhere some school kids can be in a group near me this happens with some people ive had trouble with before
and anything i kind of hear them say , if they laugh and if they look at me i kind of think that they are talking about me
ive been wrong before
but im wondering if its because ive had trouble with some people before and thats why i tend to believe they are always talking about me when they are around me

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

April, 30 2017 at 11:18 am

Hi Elle,
Anxiety can come from many different sources. A very legitimate cause of anxiety is past experiences. Prior negative experiences with people can cause you to lose trust in what people are up to now. Many things can help with this. Working with a therapist can be great because he/she can help you figure out if your thoughts are accurate (as in based on real events and actions of others), and they can help you overcome anxiety about what others are saying/doing. There are good self-help books, too. For this type of anxiety, cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) are particularly useful. It's definitely possible to overcome this anxiety!

May, 1 2017 at 2:56 am

Thankyou so much
Yes i am seeing a counsellor
I think my Anxiety comes from past experiences , i tend to overhear some peoples conversation or see the way some people look at me when they are near me and just automatically think that they are talking about me but there is always the case of maybe they actually weren't talking about me and I've just created a problem that wasn't there
Thankyou So Much

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

May, 3 2017 at 10:05 am

It's great that you are seeing a counselor. Your insight that you might have created a problem that wasn't there is a really good one. Working with someone can help you really believe it and know what to do to about it. (Incidentally, throughout my life people have told me, "Tanya! Stop making problems where there aren't any!" So you're definitely not the only one who does this (it's a hallmark of anxiety, actually). And you can prevent it from overwhelming you.

April, 25 2017 at 4:55 pm

Hello I am 15 years old and I had social anxiety for atleast 4 years. It all started with people being judgemental about my looks. People would call me ugly and wierd looking and many other names. This is the reason that I became depressed and sucidal. I know it's stupid to have these thoughts and feelings about my looks, but I can't help but dwell and over think about it. It confuses me so much because their was this kid who was my best friend (Who was called ethan) he was so judgemental about my looks for as long as he was my friend for, but their were some times where he would be nice to me. He would call me not ugly and avarage looking, and most times he would hate me. But I dont know why. he was so negative towards me it made me want to be alone and it made me hate going past people because I didn't want to be judged by them. He and many others has made me think life as pain and unfairness and I either want to hurt them and torture them or just hang myself. Please help me I am trying to be confident but Its so hard.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

April, 26 2017 at 1:55 pm

Hi Jack,
I'm sorry that you have been going through this. I'm sure it is very hard to stay confident, and no, you aren't stupid for any of this. It sounds like you were stuck in a very toxic friendship and others jumped on board with the name calling, etc. I have something for you to think about. People act this way because of their own insecurities and problems. (And let's face it, there are people who are just jerks, and they're that way to everyone -- but it feels like you're the only one they treat horribly). I say this confidently because I've been in high schools as a teacher and counselor and as a human I've experienced horrible treatment. You've been dealing with this for an incredibly long time, and it makes sense that you are feeling the way you do. The important part, and the part that shows how much stronger you are than the bullies (seriously, people who act like that are pretty weak because that's the only way they know how to make themselves feel better or to deal with problems in their life). There's a big difference between having these thoughts and feelings and acting on them. I'm going to give you a link to a list of hotline numbers and other resources. There are people who can talk to you and help you figure out your next steps. Using these resources will help you move forward and live the life you want to without these bullies and toxic people stopping you. It's very possible for you. You've already reached out so you're past the first step. You've got this, and you'll come to believe it. I sincerely wish you the best.

Grant Robertson
April, 24 2017 at 8:15 pm

Hi, I've suffered from PTSD turned into Agoraphobia for almost 10 years.
Thank you for writing this, it helps a little. I still can't stop myself overthinking, and its driving me to the brink of insanity. I ruined a perfect chance at a relationship today, over a minor tiny detail that i couldn't stop obsessing about. I try constantly to find way to distract myself, but i can never do it. My mind just takes control, and i have no control over it.
I really appreciate people who write things like this!

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

April, 24 2017 at 10:19 pm

Hi Grant,
Thank you so much for your comment. I appreciate knowing that this was a little helpful (or at least something you could relate to and see that you're not alone). I understand the feeling that your mind takes control. I have personal experience with that feeling! Does it help to know that you really can develop control over your mind's overthinking? I do continue to overthink, but I don't listen anymore. (Oh, and I'm sorry about what happened with your relationship. Maybe you can try to reconnect??)

Sofía González
April, 21 2017 at 4:15 pm

Hello Tanya!
I don't know how to start. Because I feel like I have so much to say that I cannot organize all of my thoughts. I need help, I feel so hopeless, I don't understand myself. In my last year of middle school I used to feel so confident, so sure, it was my best year, I felt so much prettier, happier, so grateful for life and everything, I'd never overthink because I would be so sure, but then, when I started high school two years ago I decided to be immature, stop being grateful, I know it sounds so stupid. It is, and it was the worst decision ever, I don't even know why I did that. I thought they were going to be the years that would do make mistakes to be better, but I already was good enough, enough to think that I could better myself being good enough (idk if that makes sense). I regret it and I tried to change it but know I feel like it has become a habit that I can't change. So I just feel, confused, I don't know how to feel because sometimes I feel so sure/confident but later I feel so crappy like I don't know, so weird, so insecure about myself but at the same time I feel like Im not. In some way I just don't know why and what to feel, even what to think. I think I overthink my feelings and I don't know what to do so then I just feel like depressed. Anything you could say would really help me.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

April, 24 2017 at 10:05 pm

Hi Sofia,
I'll start with something important: No, what you described does not sound stupid! Your feelings aren't only normal for being a teenager and in high school, they are very okay. When asked, most adults say they would never go back to high school if they could, and there are good reasons for that. This stage of development involves a lot of exploration, testing out different ways you want to be, finding independence yet still wanting to belong to groups like friends and family (and sometimes not wanting to be part of all that!). We grow and change and explore all throughout life, but in high school its particularly intense because this is the first time you're doing it on a more mature level. It's not simple. So please go easy on yourself. From what you wrote, it sounds like you used to have more self-assurance, and you liked that. It also sounds like you want to have that again and maybe make some changes how you see yourself or choices you make. These are great and signs of maturity -- if someone is immature, they can't self-reflect on this level. Because you can visualize this, and because you want this, you can make changes. You're right about behaviors becoming a habit. It probably does feel like you can't change, but that is just an illusion, a false belief (we all have them -- it's part of being human). Just because your mind tells you you can't change doesn't make it true. When I get confused or anxious or stressed and start overthinking things, getting caught up in regrets, feeling insecure, I do three things that are really helpful: first, I stop paying attention to my thoughts and emotions. They're still there, I just don't follow them. Next, I figure out what I want in my life right now -- what's important to me? Then, based on that, I decide on some actions, little things I can do every day to work toward what I want. I push thoughts of what I don't want out of my mind and keep acting toward what I want. Taking little steps, some action, actually increases my confidence as it moves me forward. Feel free to try this if you want to. Doing this is a way of life rather than a quick fix, so be patient with yourself. Truly, you sound like a strong young woman with a lot going for her. Your level of self-awareness is great. I bet there are a lot of other great things about you. Think more about those than you do the very human mistakes. :)

Julian Derczynski
April, 4 2017 at 4:10 pm

I have social anxiety, since i was at school, I am now 27. I tend to spend too much time thinkinng, i get a persistent racing thoughts most of the time, especially when i'm stressed or anxious. I also have aspegers, which i think may contribute to my thought. The thoughts i tend to get are very unusual, like sometimes i can think about something that i have just done but exactly how it happened, like as if im reacting it in my head, or sometimes i often get a intrusive thought where i think i don't like something when really i do. I also occasionally, but most often don't, get unintentional sexual, self harm, harming my parents or my cat. I do quite often get anxious thoughts such as worrying thoughts like someone is going to say something that will stress me out or at times i can worry about things that will happen. But because I've had them for such a long time they have progressively gotten worse, due to not having the right help i need, but stress and my anxiety has made it worse and because i focus on them too much, which i find extremely difficult to resist them. I'm not sure if they are partially related to my autism as well as my anxiety but sometimes i question if some of the thoughts i get like the unusual one's are related to my anxiety or my autism, as these thoughts are really odd. I very often question if there's something wrong with my brain or if i have slight mental retardation, sorry for using that term, because i can't think of anyone with anxiety or austism who experiences this. I have tried a lot of medications, therapists and psychologists but nothing has ever worked. Please be completely honest even if you think it is a intellectual disability or something that i haven't heard from, as it would help me understand why i get this going on in my head?

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

April, 20 2017 at 3:03 pm

Hello Julian,
Having intrusive thoughts is frightening and frustrating for many people who experience them, and they do contribute to anxiety. I would never minimize who you are or what you're experiencing by trying to diagnose you online and based on just a little bit of info. That wouldn't be helpful! I am wondering though, if you have had anyone mention obsessive-compulsive disorder to you. Obsessions are intrusive thoughts while compulsions are behaviors done to alleviate the thoughts (like counting, checking things, etc.). What many people don't know is that you don't have to have both obsessions and compulsions to have OCD. Having both is the most common, but you can have one without the other -- you can have intrusive thoughts like what you've described without having compulsions. Again, I'm definitely not in a position to make a diagnosis. I'm just mentioning this as something to possibly think about and ask a therapist or psychologist about.

April, 1 2017 at 8:35 pm

Tanya thank you ! This has been plaguing me for so long now, this morning was one of the worst, I was just walking around the house like a maniac trying to find something to keep my mind diverted. Worst thing is there was no reason for me to be freaking out, nothing is happened/going-on right now that could generate this type of panic. But your advice is fantastic. Focussing on a mute object and thinking about the way it's shaped or what it's made out of. It's calming to think about something that has no effect on my bigger picture. Thank you for this, saved me a lot of stress.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

April, 20 2017 at 3:14 pm

Hello Destin!
Thank you for your feedback. I'm so happy that this was helpful to you in the moment. I overthink things and tend to create all sorts of problems that feel very real but aren't at all. Using an object has helped me a great deal -- now it's just automatic. I'm glad it's useful for you, too!

March, 30 2017 at 5:12 am

Great article, its reassuring to know there are other people who have the same things going through their mind, loved the gerbil analogy, although it feels a bit more like a time lapse video running at an extreme speed...think Madona's ray of light video form the 90's...or was it the 00's (sorry its the only way i can describe it). its also accompanied by a constant cacophony of panic.
My anxiety was brought on following a brain injury, along with memory and cognitive issues, which is why its pretty difficult for me to deal with, its like I'm a different person.
I've been taking some nootropics which seem to help with some things.
I agree the video helped for the length of the video lol!
enjoyed the article as well!

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

April, 20 2017 at 3:21 pm

Hi Stu,
Thanks for your comment and feedback! Love the analogy to Madonna's video. I'm going to go find that and watch it again. My own anxiety was exacerbated by a TBi, so I can relate somewhat (we're all different, of course). I experienced anxiety before the brain injury, but it wasn't a problem. It became a problem after the injury. (The TBI also led to a diagnosis of bipolar disorder.) Feeling like a different person is a common sentiment expressed by people with TBI. The essence of "you" is still there. You're just on an adventure to redefine some things. Including dealing with anxiety!

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