Has any of you been too anxious to speak up? I have. So many times in my life! In the past, when I have spoken up for myself, I have been treated like I am overreacting. This has made me anxious to speak up the next time. People had called me crazy, critical, over-reactor, and ridiculous. They have told me to "calm down," and relax, making it look like my fault instead of acknowledging the injustice done to me. This is a tactic of power. It undermines the protests and does a great job of shutting me up. Exactly what that person wants. To ward off more resistance.

Anger is often anxiety's evil twin. We may express ourselves out of anger, but our problem is anxiety and all of its worries and fears. It can be very helpful to know when anxiety is behind anger; then we can address the right problem. So, do you have an anger problem or an anxiety issue?

Adults live with anxiety and fear everyday. Maybe not fear of dying, but fears that weigh us down and cause us to be tired. I'm not the only one who notices how tired we are collectively. Yesterday in a therapy session an eleven year old girl asked me if I was tired. Things have been extra busy around my house, I have been up late and up early. I said, "Yes." She said that whenever she asked a grown up if they are tired, they always say yes. This made me pause. All grown ups are tired? I could relate, I have noticed that, too. What are we doing to ourselves? Why are we all so tired?

Anxiety never comes out of the blue, as much as it seems that it does. There is always a context to it, an anxiety trigger. Always some perception of vulnerability that triggers the physiological response and the emotional response. But have you wondered why we get anxiety in the first place? How Do We Get Anxiety? Anxiety can be recruited into our lives in a variety of ways, but usually something happens to us that makes us feel vulnerable.  It could be something like a traumatic experience: sexual abuse, war, being mugged, a car accident, etc. Or it could be something else, like an illness (from the flu to cancer), having a conflict, a break up, embarrassment, hearing a scary story, etc.  

"His Kindness Healed Me" As often happens, I was brought to tears last night during a therapy session. "When he asked me why I like him, I didn't know how to put it into words.  All I could say was, 'Your kindness healed me.'" She began to lament that she couldn't express her feelings. Her fear and self-doubt arose and she began to beat herself up at her lack of a good reply.

I Was Afraid of Flying The fear of flying is a common fear.  I had it in the worst way. For me, like many others, fear of flying especially increased after 9/11. I thought about being in a plane crash a lot.  A lot, a lot. Every time I heard a plane fly over, the video ran in my mind of myself sitting in an airplane after having just found out we were going to crash.

Are You Deciding Whether to Use Medication for Anxiety? Today, we are joining the American Psychological Association Mental Health Blog Party, trying to decrease stigma and bring public awareness to mental health issues. Anxiety medication and deciding whether to medicate your anxiety are important issues! Many people ask my recommendation when deciding to use drugs to manage their or their children's anxiety symptoms. I cannot give a recommendation since I am not an MD but I do have an opinion! The best way to make this decision is to weigh the risks and benefits of taking the medication. And to do this, you'll need to gather some basic information.

I know you want to get rid of generalized anxiety disorder symptoms. Keep in mind that anxiety can be treated in the short term, but long-term treatment and practice of new skills is what it takes to get rid of anxiety altogether. Today we'll discuss ten activities that get rid of generalized anxiety in the long term.

How can coping tools help relieve panic attacks? Especially since most panic attacks feel like they come out of the blue, even though there is usually a trigger. The trigger is that you are scared of panic attacks. And why wouldn't you be? They are one of the most uncomfortable experiences on this planet. Having a list of tools can help reduce the number of panic attacks you experience and help you feel less afraid of the panic coming.

Worry can have our anxiety all up and out of control, and worry never helped one person. Last week I posted a vlog: Love and Fear, The Only Two Emotions.  Today's vlog picks up on that theme and lets us know how to love someone rather than worry about them.