Bipolar beat me. Yesterday was a bad day. I haven't had it bad like this in a while. It stemmed from my finances or lack thereof. This time of year is always difficult for us, paying off Christmas. Next Christmas we're going to have a savings. No credit cards. But, there is still the problem of this year.

Now I can sit back and reflect on those early days of my bipolar life.  I lived each day in fear of the next. I mostly feared that I was going crazy. I feared that my sanity was to be taken away from me easily. I feared that I would end up in a cold, confined padded cell.

I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 on October 6, 2006. I remember the date like it’s my birthday. It’s the day my whole world collapsed and I became a person I didn’t recognize. I was branded, disgraced and humiliated (Living With Mental Illness and Self-Stigma). It was I who took in the online questionnaire to my psychiatrist, hoping that I was wrong.