Quitting Depression Medication On Your Own A Very Bad Idea

Quitting your depression medication without the doctor's help can lead to trouble. In fact, getting off your antidepressant medication on your own is a very bad idea.

I know, because I did it.

I haven’t always suffered from depression cycles, or “dips”, as I call them. They started only a couple of years ago, perhaps because I am getting closer to menopause. In any case, I became so frustrated with my depression dips that I decided to go off my antidepressant medication, after having been on them for the better part of ten years, without the advice of my doctor.

I did a very poor job at the weaning component. I went from taking 30mg of Cipralex a day to 20mg to 10mg to nothing within a week.

Yah. Baaaaadd idea.

Side Effects of Stopping Depression Medication

At first, I didn’t feel much. Within about 72 hours, I felt the first zap . A distinct, sudden zap deep inside my brain.

I thought it was my imagination. That, or I had walked over some intensely static-y (yes, I know that’s not really a word) carpet. Doused in denial, I ignored it and went on with my day.

A few hours later, it happened again… then again, and again, and again. Within a day, these brain zaps were happening every ten minutes – sometimes more. They could not be ignored.

What Brain Zaps From Antidepressant Withdrawal Feel Like

Allow me to digress, if I may, to try to explain what these brain zaps felt like.

I didn’t really call them brain zaps at first. I called them buzzers because that’s what they felt like - like buzzers, heavy on the fleeting B, heavy on the prolonged ZZZZZ.

Bzzzzzz.

Bzzzzzzzzzzzz.

When it happened, the effect of the buzz actually caused me to stop what I was doing, if just for a split second. My eyes would dash to the left or the right, quick, almost indiscernibly. The entire affect would take less than a second or two.

Eventually, when the denial caught up with me, I started searching the internet for “brain buzzes” and “feels like a static shock in my brain” and finally, “brain buzzes” + “withdrawal”.

[caption id="attachment_1083" align="alignright" width="240" caption="Antidepressant withdrawal gave me brain zaps."][/caption]

I finally hit upon the term brain zap in direct correlation to withdrawal from depression medication – particularly when weaned off the medication too quickly. I read that sometimes the brain zaps can last a week, other times they can last up to six months! Oh joy! (read: How to Switch Antidepressants Safely)

Thankfully, mine lasted about three weeks before they finally tapered off.

Of course, what followed was a slow (is three months slow?) and painful slide back into a major depressive episode.

Why I Quit Depression Medication

Stopping my depression medication on my own was idiotic. I know that now, but I had to because I needed to know two things. First, I wanted to know if the dips would go away. They didn't. Now that I'm back on my depression medications, I know that. Second, and more importantly, I learned that I will need to be on antidepressants the rest of my life.

And… I’m okay with that.