Self-Hate and Depression Make Living a Blissful Life Difficult

December 7, 2016 Arley Hoskin, CMPS

When you struggle with self-hate and depression, it can be soothing to remember that you're much more than self-hate leads you to believe. Read these tips.

Can you achieve bliss if you struggle with self-hate and depression? I’ve been asking myself this question a lot lately because despite all of the positive things going on in my life, I still struggle with self-hate and depression. How can I live a blissful life when I sometimes feel like my life isn’t worth living? Self-hate and depression make living a blissful life difficult.

Ways to Defy Self-Hate and Depression in the Quest for Bliss

1. Let Go of Feelings Connected to Self-Hate

I often don’t feel like I deserve happiness or bliss. I sometimes can’t shake the feeling that I’m doing this thing called life all wrong. These feelings can consume me so I’ve learned that I just need to let them go.

I may not always feel happy but I know that living a blissful, peaceful life extends beyond my current feelings. Reminding myself of this is hard to do, but the more I do it the easier the task becomes (What Do Accepting And Letting Go of Anxiety Mean?).

2. Combat Negative Self-Talk

Negative self-talk always shows up during my episodes of depression and moments of self-hate. Negative self-talk can quickly send me into a shame spiral. I’ve learned to combat this with a method called “Catch it. Check it. Change it.” When I notice the negative self-talk enter my head I catch it, check it against reality, and change it into a positive message (Combat Negative Self-Talk with the Three Cs).

It’s important to quiet your inner critic and find peace. Depression relapse will happen to many of us. Combating negative self-talk hasn’t stopped my struggles with self-hate and depression, but it has stopped me from drowning in the negativity.

3. Surround Yourself with Love

I have filled my office with pictures of my daughter, samples of her artwork, and inspirational quotes from my favorite authors. I surround myself with things I love and things that remind me that I am loved. This doesn’t stop the depression and self-hate from rearing its ugly head but reminds me that I am more than the negative thoughts and feelings that sometimes consume me. These pictures and artwork and quotes remind me that I am someone who loves and someone who is loved. And often that reminder gets me through to the next moment.

Moment by moment I remember what it means to live a blissful life. Despite my depression and self-hate, I am living a truly blissful life. And maybe, I don’t really hate myself after all.

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APA Reference
Hoskin, A. (2016, December 7). Self-Hate and Depression Make Living a Blissful Life Difficult, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, July 25 from

Author: Arley Hoskin, CMPS

May, 22 2018 at 6:15 pm

I know what i'm supposed to do fight back my self hatred...mindfulness, acceptance, letting it go, pushing it aside for other nicer thoughts..But none of it works more than a few seconds...especilaly when alone...My mind turns everything--even thoughts about my kids--back on my failures and worthlessness..and it becomes never-ending..And it starts the instant i wake up! I guess I'm not fighting hard enough and it seeems like part of me thinks i deserve all the misery...ugh....

December, 17 2017 at 1:11 am

Really enjoyed concept of 3Cs . Usually beat myself up for days.

December, 12 2016 at 6:36 am

I used to spend a lot of time sad because I could not enjoy the holidays. I hated myself for that. It was only after years of therapy that I learned that I was not responsible for the thoughts themselves, but that I could decide how I was going to respond to them. I like the 3 Cs. I learned to catch myself going automatically to "I never do anything right," when something went wrong. Then I would check my behavior history and remember that I often do things quite well and change my thought to, "I made a mistake this time, but I usually do just fine." Now I seldom automatically go to the negative. Who I am and my behavior are very different at times. It is important to separate what I do from who I am!

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