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Living with Anxiety

Anxious thoughts race through your mind at a thousand miles an hour. Useless thoughts, seemingly going nowhere because they're speeding bullets - they just get stuck in your head. They break all the barriers you set, till you're too tired and overwhelmed to fight. Wouldn't it be better to put that restless energy to work? Of course!
Did you know you that being kind to yourself reduces stress? Do you realize when you're not being kind to yourself? Do you know what self-care means? A lot of people experience anxiety as stress and pressure: to be perfect, appropriate, correct, on time, grown-up, professional, controlled. It's easy for stress and anxiety to weave their way into your life. But you can be kind to yourself more often and reduce stress and anxiety in the process.
It's hard to listen to any feedback from anxiety when I think my blood is full of laughing gas and I'm hysterically gasping for air. It's one of 'those' days. All systems go, I'm at the bottom of a wishing well, throwing coins towards the light. Sometimes it's impossible to prevent these days when living with anxiety, but sometimes, by listening to the feedback anxiety can give you, you can avoid them.
The thing about living with anxiety is you're never alone. It's there, like a shadow, filling up the extra spaces in your day. When your head hits the pillows, it pops up. You're quiet: It's loud, and louder. And oh, hang on, it's 2am. 3am. 4am. "Why can't I settle down? What's wrong with me? What if, and how will I ever...?"
I call it DSM Scrabble because lots of people don't fit neatly into the categories doctors put them in. Diagnoses are convenient boxes but rarely entirely accurate, and certainly not the full picture. It felt like I'd won the lottery the first time someone put an actual name to my experience of anxiety. My shrink knew all these catchy phrases that described where I was: Maybe she had connections? Maybe she could give me courage, a heart, a brain?