A suicide affect many, especially when it's a mother's death by suicide. My mother had many problems in her life. She was mentally ill and had to endure a lot of harsh judgement, embarrassment and shame in her life and, being her children, so did we. Not only was she mentally Ill, but she was also an addict and alcoholic. It was something that was never discussed or acknowledged by family members and we never shared our secret unless we really had to. My mother also died by suicide and the effects of this suicide are still felt a decade later.
On World Suicide Prevention Day, let me start with the good news: suicide is preventable. That exact thought, however, haunts a family that has lost a loved one to suicide. The regrets are undeniable. There is a plethora of what-ifs and should-haves that nag at you from within; the guilt is unbearable. Looking back, we see so much that could’ve been done. In hindsight, you might even be able to pick the exact day, the exact hour, the minute, the second, where if you had looked a little harder, spoken a different word, been a different person, well, you just might have changed it all. Looking back, the signs are so obvious, but in reality, the answers are never that clear. Families, living their ordinary lives, doing their ordinary things are not at all equipped to deal with the extraordinary task of saving a loved one from suicide. Most of the times, they aren’t even aware. I wasn’t aware.