Eating Disorder Recovery: Back to Basics

Let's be honest: my eating disorder recovery is...shaky at the moment. I admit this to you for two reasons. One: if you're also in recovery from an eating disorder and having a rough time of it, that's normal and you're not alone. Two: if you're on the outside looking in, don't be fooled into thinking that just because your loved one "looks" normal, or stopped purging, or stopped over-exercising, that they're not still struggling.

The fact is, struggling is part of the journey. Nobody said recovering from anorexia, bulimia, binge eating, or any other disordered eating pattern would be easy - and if they did, they were lying to you.

Eating Disorder Recovery is Hard

Recovery from an eating disorder is tough. It's especially tough at the beginning - those first few months when you're trying so desperately to replace your old behaviors with new, healthier ones. And even if you have been kicking butt in recovery for months or a year, you're still going to hit rough patches. The rough patches don't mean you're failing. They mean you're trying.

But sometimes, when things start to slip, you've got to go back to the basics - back to the things that got you through those first through months and to the point in recovery where you were solid and strong.

The Basics of Eating Disorder Recovery

Meal Plan: At the beginning of your recovery, you were probably on some sort of meal plan - be that exchanges, calories, whatever. Maybe you got to the point where you had progressed to intuitive eating - but a slip in recovery is not the time you want to try and eat "intuitively" - "intuitively" opens the door wide for eating disorder behaviors to creep back in. There is nothing wrong with going back on a meal plan to get you through a difficult period.

Talk About It: Those first few months of recovery are full of talking about your feelings, whining about your meal plan, whining about how difficult it is to refrain from behaviors. Sometimes, in treatment, it felt like all I did was talk and eat. But talking helps. Find friends and family that you can trust and let them in on just how difficult this can be. Let them know you're struggling. Let them support you. (Read: Secrets in Eating Disorder Recovery)

Coping Skills: Technically, yes, your eating disorder is a coping skill. So let me qualify that statement with: "the healthy ones"! Find things to do that are contrary to your eating disorder (don't let it trick you into thinking exercise is an acceptable coping skill!) and do them. Create art, read books, knit, crochet, watch your favorite television show. Do things that will allow you to sit through the discomfort of avoiding behaviors without completely imploding. (Which, yes, it does feel like you will do sometimes. You won't, I promise.)

Read Recovery-Oriented/Inspiring Writings: I am lucky enough to have an entire notebook of assignments that I completed while at inpatient and residential treatment. I have lists of affirmations. I have books that are recovery-oriented and remind me that all this pain is worth it.

[caption id="attachment_1133" align="alignright" width="300" caption="A page from my recovery art journal"][/caption]

I also have a recovery art journal that I work on when I'm in a strong place, full of inspiring quotations and things I've learned along the way. Use it to light a fire for your continued recovery.

Basic Self-Care: I actually got my hair cut a couple of weeks ago. Not because I don't like long hair, quite the contrary. But I realized that I was using my long hair as an excuse to just blow past taking care of my appearance in the morning. A shorter hair style requires me to spend all of 7 minutes in the morning blow drying and straightening my hair. But that is 7 minutes that says "I am worth the time" and makes me feel better all day. Take a few minutes each day to send that message to yourself, whether that's by doing your hair, putting on a bit of makeup, painting your nails, or doing something you find restful and enjoying.

Don't Ignore Your Other Diagnoses: They play into your eating disorder, without a doubt. If you have another psychiatric diagnosis, be sure you're taking care of that as well so that you're not putting your eating disorder recovery at risk.

Do any of you have other ideas for how to get through rough patches? I'd love to hear about them in the comments section and see an entire list of ways that we can work through these harder times!