One possible symptom of borderline personality disorder (BPD) is substance abuse. When a person has a substance abuse disorder and a psychiatric disorder, they have a dual diagnosis. While help exists for people with mental illness and for people with substance abuse problems, getting help for a dual diagnosis is a lonely, uphill battle. Simply put, neither psychiatric facilities nor rehabilitation facilities have the desire nore ability to treat us.

It was tempting to assume a worst-case scenario, or catastrophize the situation. Would I lose my job as a freelancer? How would I pay for a new computer? What would I do in the meantime? Sound familiar? Many people with BPD can see things as a lot worse than they actually are, which can trigger other psychiatric symptoms.

May is Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) Awareness Month. While there are many sites with excellent clinical descriptions or offer advice for the loved ones of a person with BPD, there is a lack of information on BPD from the point of view of a person with BPD. So, in honor of BPD Awareness Month, here's what BPD is like for me.

I know of a lawsuit I would have paid a month's wages to watch Judge Judy handle. When I was a child, a student brought either cocaine or heroin to her elite private school. She was caught and expelled. However, the school had no written rules, which meant there was no formal drug policy. She sued, claiming she didn't know she couldn't bring drugs. To my knowledge, borderline personality disorder (BPD) was not a factor. However, this frivolous lawsuit is a perfect example of an attempt to avoid personal responsibility--one of the complications of BPD.

there's a big difference between remorse, or regret of wrongdoing, and false guilt, which is a flaming arrow in the hands of a master manipulator.

Schema therapy shows tremendous potential for treating borderline personality disorder (BPD).  In this video, More Than Borderline's Becky Oberg explains domains, which are related to basic childhood needs, and the schemas that can form if those needs are not met.

I love to read, especially books that make me think and offer perfectionism self-help for, well, perfectionism. One of my much-loved treasures is Bushido: The Way of the Samurai. This book is based on the Hagakure, and is a philosophy of Eighteenth-Century Japanese warriors. Here's some perfection self-help I can pass on from Japanese warriors.

Regardless of what anyone says, you don't have to be in a romantic relationship. No other person will fill you; trying to fill a void with someone else makes that void worse. You have to find completeness within yourself. You have to find your own happiness, regardless of relationship status.

Some dreams are bizarre--my favorite odd one involved a coworker and me being chased through the mall by ninjas, with multiple Broadway musical songs to comment on the situation. Most dreams, however, have a meaning--especially when you interpret them yourself.

What angers me the most is that this doesn't have to happen. But it does, and most Americans simply don't care. It is easier to believe that people like me did something wrong than it is to realize there is soul-crushing injustice in America. It's ironic, but trying to recover has made my symptoms worse.