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Coping with BPD

Code-switching in borderline personality disorder (BPD) is something I've been trying to understand lately. I know so far that it's a survival strategy I've clung to in a reality where the threat of rejection casts its shadow over everything.
People with borderline personality disorder often have issues with feelings of rejection. In fact, the feeling of rejection is the thing that gets under my skin the most. With borderline personality disorder (BPD), even the tiniest microexpression can make me feel like I'm going off the deep end. Now, there's this one time that sticks out like a sore thumb when it comes to feeling rejected -- the classic "no text back" scenario.
I've made it my mission to understand splitting and borderline personality disorder, given the profound shame that often follows when I split on my loved ones. If you have borderline personality disorder (BPD), you might know that splitting is a defense mechanism where we perceive people, including those we deeply care about, as either entirely good or entirely bad.
In the past, my trauma therapist has had to give me a reality check about over-identifying with borderline personality disorder (BPD). To be honest, I needed that wake-up call. Not every unpleasant thought or emotional dip is automatically a BPD symptom. It's made me realize the pitfalls of getting too wrapped up in identifying with my mental health issues.
Emotional resilience when a relationship ends is important if challenging. As someone with borderline personality disorder (BPD), the ending of relationships feels no short of an existential nightmare. The grief isn't just about losing someone; it's about losing the version of me that I molded to fit within that love story. Post-breakup, I feel like I'm looking at my reflection in a funhouse mirror. What stares back is distorted, confusing, and sometimes downright unrecognizable.
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) affects me in many ways. If you really know me -- we're talking roommates and family -- you'd catch onto the petulance, those bursts of childlike fury that bubble up out of nowhere. On the outside, borderline personality disorder has me spinning with emotions, intense reactions, and a sprinkle of unpredictability. However, what seems to be a mood affliction is actually a batch of survival tactics that collectively comprise the framework of my personality. Read on to learn how BPD really affects me.
I've got this oddly specific fear of abandonment at night. It's bizarre, but when my partner dozes off before me, I feel like a lost child, abandoned at the mall. I'm aware it's not rational; my partner is right there, snug beside me, and I'm a grown adult who's tackled the mall solo countless times. But that lingering fear of desertion from my past creeps in as if it were determined to sabotage the present.
Did you know that the most helpful treatment for borderline personality disorder (BPD) is age? According to a 16-year-long study, 88 percent of patients no longer met the "Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders" criteria for BPD after eight years, while 99 percent remitted after 16 years. I just turned 30 myself, and my BPD symptoms have greatly improved over the past 12 years. This is my experience with BPD since becoming an adult.
Did you know that burnout is common for individuals with borderline personality disorder (BPD)? In this article, I talk about how I used hard work as an unhealthy coping mechanism and what happened when it all came crashing down, and burnout came for me.
Surviving borderline personality disorder (BPD) is no small victory. I am incredibly grateful to myself for choosing life at a time when my pain seemed infinite. Last time I spoke about why I did not consider suicide as a child. This time, I talk about why I did consider suicide as an adult. (Note: This post contains a trigger warning.)