Other People's Opinion and Your Self-Esteem

November 4, 2020 Jessica Kaley

There's a well-known saying that goes, "Other people's opinions are none of your business," and when it comes to your journey to build self-esteem, this needs to be taken to heart. Self-esteem issues are often very connected to how much we allow other people's opinions to color our own. Read on to learn how my quest to build stronger self-esteem was affected by other people's opinions.

Do Other People's Opinions Matter?

Poor self-esteem can lead people to base their sense of self-worth on the words and actions of people in their life. Remember that the first half of "self-esteem" is "self." It can be difficult to turn off other people's voices in our heads and focus on the sound of our own thoughts, and it's an important step in building self-esteem. When we start to recognize our voice as the leader of the direction our thoughts and actions take, our self-esteem grows.

Many truths about healthy self-esteem must be recognized before you can get to this place. Take a moment to think about each of these three points and how comfortable they feel to you.

  1. Accept and celebrate your individuality. This allows you to understand that your opinions and thoughts can be different than the thoughts of other people without anyone being wrong. This is not only okay; it also makes sense. We all have our personal set of talents, challenges and experiences, and each of these color our thoughts and create our own truth. Something that's hard for you is easier for someone else and vice versa.
  2. Know what path you want your life to take. Just as we each have different strengths, we also have different desires and goals. One person's highest priority may have no urgency for you, and what's important to you may be meaningless to those you love. That's the way it has to be in order for the world to have the diversity it requires to keep everything going. Honoring your personal set of life goals even when they make no sense to someone else is a display of strong self-esteem.
  3. Do some work to build good boundaries that protect your self-image. Practice the phrases you want to use when people disrespect you and your opinions. Choose words that are strong and kind rather than apologetic or argumentative. This will allow you to listen to other's opinions and show them the respect you want for yourself while standing firm in your right to be your own person. Model the behavior you want them to display by acknowledging their right to their own opinion while asserting your same right.

I Reach Out to Others About My Self-Esteem

This past week was a big turning point for me and my mental health status. I have been battling depression for the last few months as the pandemic keeps me isolated and struggling to find meaning in each day. Part of my self-esteem journey includes being more open and transparent with the people I love, and so, I had discussions with three people about my challenges.

Each of these people loves me. Each of them had their own unique response to my sharing, and I learned something from each of them. I was proud that I was able to practice all three of the points outlined above. After having these discussions, my depression began to lift, and I feel positive about the future again. I hope these lessons that I share in the video help you in your own journey to stronger self-esteem.

Healthy Self-Esteem Accepts People's Opinions

The world needs doctors as well as circus clowns. Some of us are better at research, and some of us are better at implementing the ideas that research uncovers. We need people who are interested in leading our governments and those whose talents lead them to grow beautiful vegetables to feed our population. Some of us can and will make music, and some of us can and will build houses. Every person has a right to be his or her own self if it's not hurting anyone else. You are important to the world just the way you are today.

How does the opinion of other people affect your self-esteem? Can you relate to the outcomes of conversations I had with others that I shared in the video? What would you like to change about your reactions to others' opinions to improve your self-esteem? Share your own stories in the comments, and we will all grow stronger together.

APA Reference
Kaley, J. (2020, November 4). Other People's Opinion and Your Self-Esteem, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, May 26 from

Author: Jessica Kaley

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