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Mood Minder® from Kronko – Forecasting Emotional Weather

August 24, 2011 Alistair McHarg

and NOW a word from our SPONSOR!

When a mental health disorder leaves you at the mercy of your moods, life can be challenging! But let’s not kid ourselves; you can be a challenge, too. Friends, family members, and associates may wonder, “Is this a good time to bring up that sensitive subject, or should I wait?”

With Mood Minder® from Kronko, they’ll never have to guess again! Just a few keystrokes and the folks in your life can download an Emotional Weather Forecast™ for the day, week, or even month! Friends will know exactly what kind of behavior to expect from you, regardless of how random, irrational, or annoying it might be.

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With Mood Minder® – Mental Illness Is No Longer A Guarantee Of Privacy!

Until now, the dreariness of complete predictability was available only to individuals we would describe as dull, uninteresting, and timid. No more! Mood Minder® from Kronko pulls the enigmatic curtain of mental illness back and removes the mystery from even the most eccentric in our midst, people suffering from mood disorders as obscure as they are hard to spell.

Mood Minder® Brings The Art Of Forecasting Indoors!

Ever wonder how weather predictions are made? Aggregated meteorological information, compiled over decades, is compared to current atmospheric conditions. This enables forecasters to make well-reasoned predictions they express in terms of probability. Mood Minder® from Kronko leverages the very same methodology!

Assembling Clues Strewn Across Your Zig-Zag Path Of Moodiness

Every day, personal information is gathered, stored, and analyzed using complex algorithms. At this point there probably isn’t much you know about yourself that hasn’t been documented and stored in a bomb-resistant bunker somewhere.

But it isn’t just your preferences that are a matter of public record, your daily activities are also well known. Kronko software draws from these two pools of information to create a surprisingly accurate picture of what will happen to you on any given day, and how your “mood weather pattern” will cause you to react.

Below is a test report I ran on myself on myself for Wednesday, August 24, 2011. I was amazed by the accuracy. Check it out!

Mood Minder® from Kronko

Subject: Alistair McHarg
Date: Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Alistair will be rising at 6:00 a.m. – on the wrong side of the bed.

Early a.m. obsession with resentments left over from high school will create a toxic morning atmosphere.

Expect scattered periods of unprovoked passive aggression through late-morning.

Manic high will occur at 1:31 p.m. – giving rise to scattered outbursts of bombast, impatience, and baseless optimism.

Lowering standards and expectations throughout afternoon prompt increased levels of humility and acceptance, resulting in overall calm - punctuated by brief intervals of whistling.

Expect a pleasant evening as Alistair reaches beyond his narcissism and actually devotes time and energy to the problems of others.

Overnight – ennui, existential dread, and arachnophobia prompt fitful sleep.

End Of Report

APA Reference
McHarg, A. (2011, August 24). Mood Minder® from Kronko – Forecasting Emotional Weather, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2022, September 29 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/funnyinthehead/2011/08/mood-minder-from-kronko-forecasting-emotional-weather



Author: Alistair McHarg

Jon
October, 11 2011 at 3:56 am

You're hilarious!

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Alistair McHarg
October, 11 2011 at 4:09 am

Hi Jon: Thank you for reading and for the very nice message - it is surely appreciated! Keep coming back - we do this every week. Very best regards, Alistair

Stacey
August, 30 2011 at 2:39 pm

can't wait to see how this works for me........ this is very cool !

Alistair McHarg
August, 24 2011 at 9:41 am

Hi Angela: Thank you so much for your nice words. Hope you keep coming back! A

Angela
August, 24 2011 at 9:09 am

OMG I love you.
Can't wait to see what the trolls out in web-world have in store for you. ;)

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