I Would Be Lucky to Turn into My Mother

Many women dread the mere thought of turning into their mothers, to the extent that "I am turning into my mother" is a dramatic or hilarious trope often used in TV and films. However, in my case, this thought is aspirational instead of terrifying because my mother is one of my role models. And to quote the anonymous, "If I turn into my mother or even half the woman she is, I'll consider my life a successful one."

Why I Hope to Turn into My Mother

My Mother Is Neurotypical, but She Has a Physical Disability

Unlike me, my mother does not have any mental illness like anxiety or depression. Instead, she has a physical disability, one that deformed her foot and made it painful for her to walk. If you are wondering whether she suffered from polio as a child, you are right. Ever since I was a little girl, I remember seeing my mother walking around the house briskly and doing her chores. Even though she had a genuine reason, she never made excuses for not getting work done. What further inspired me was that she refused to hide her disability. She knew she had nothing to be ashamed of -- and this was evident in her behavior. For example, when nosy strangers approached her and asked if she had a "problem," she didn't blush and deny it or attempt to hide her foot. She had a cool "Yes, and?" attitude that I yearned to possess one day. 

She Taught Me to Find Courage in Adversity

It's only been a few years since my mother got customized footwear to support her foot. For many years, she made do without it. And don't be fooled; apart from her disability, my mama had her fair share of struggles, none of which I can list here for privacy reasons. But she got through all of them with grace and resilience. Seeing her grow through her struggles as a shy, introverted married woman living with an extroverted extended family taught my teenage self to find strength in adversity. One thing my mother often said to me was, "Don't give up when you fail. Stand up and try again. Be brave!"

This lesson stuck with me for life, and I have realized that it is one of the things that always help me get through bad mental health days. 

Embracing Turning into My Mother

In embracing the prospect of turning into my mother, I do not fear losing myself. On the contrary, I celebrate the woman who has consistently been my guiding light. If turning into my mother means inheriting even a fraction of her authenticity and courage, I welcome it with open arms.