I'm a Survivor and Victim of Depression

I have been living with depression for 20 years, and I mean it when I say I'm both a survivor and a victim of depression. What do I mean by this statement? Let's take a look at being a survivor and victim of depression.

I'm a Survivor of Depression

Depression makes everyday life difficult, but generally, I carry on with life as usual. Right from waking up to going to bed, depression affects nearly every aspect of my daily life. It makes it hard for me to wake up in the mornings, especially as I am not a morning person. But I wake up in the morning anyway, even though I would rather wake up in the afternoon. 

What I'm trying to say is that even though it has a grip on me, I don't let depression control me. And this is what makes me a survivor of depression. I am a survivor because of years of lived experience, professional help, and support from loved ones. Being a survivor does not mean I have overcome depression permanently because surviving depression is an ongoing process. I call myself a survivor because I want to acknowledge my courage, resilience, and strength. 

I'm a Victim of Depression

I have no intention of writing some problematic, toxic positivity-fueled post. Depression is a complex and debilitating mental health condition, and it is not to be taken lightly. It cannot be fought with sheer willpower or shaken off with the right attitude. 

Depression is more than mere sadness; it can drain you of your will to live. It is an insidious mental illness that can heavily impact your job, relationships, and quality of life in general. And sometimes, despite your best efforts, you cannot do anything but give in to depression. For example, sometimes I cannot spend time with loved ones because I feel unworthy of their attention. Despite my best efforts, I cannot push myself to see the truth (I am worthy) through the fog of depression. So, I wait for the fog to disappear and then meet my friends or family. Since I am at the mercy of depression, I am its victim. Ultimately, no matter how well I live with it, I am suffering from depression. I am a victim of depression.

I'm Both a Survivor and a Victim of Depression

Acknowledging that I am both a survivor and a victim of depression gives me perspective during hard times. This is the reason why I am making plans for 2024, even though I am currently going through a bad episode of depression. A younger version of me would not have bothered to make plans for the new year and would be steeped in despair instead. Today, I know that my depression will eventually fade, and I will feel better over time. Check out the video below to know more about why I'm making plans for 2024.