Trade The Lies of Mental Illness for Real Love from Family

A variance of different support systems, friends, family, therapeutic practitioners can come in different seasons of our lives. I’m a survivor of sexual abuse as well and have experienced family being toxic, dysfunctional since the abuse happened in the household with my father. They denied my claims of sexual abuse ever happening. Through therapy I learned that they felt shame that I shared with others. That I destroyed their perception of who they are in the public eye and with their family. I became isolated by voicing my pain, claim that sexual abuse happened in our family. Apparently this can be a common experience for survivors who “out” a family member of sexual abuse. It becomes their shame, their fear, and anger that one would share the secrets of what happened behind closed doors. After guidance from different mental health practitioners and years to sort my emotions about my sexual abuse I stepped back into family. I realized some, not all of my family, also realized how dysfunctional our family was. They embraced me with greater understanding. The ones that I truly embarrassed or shamed them, we still have distance between us. It does not bother me anymore. I figure it’s natures way to sorting out those who are more in alignment with myself. Every family, person, sexual abuse scenario is different since we are individuals. Sexual abuse victims will have different outcomes when it comes to the fallout of sexual abuse. I can relate to the writers story and also the commentator. There is no right or wrong when it comes to finding a support system after surviving sexual abuse. We take the support and love when we emotionally can. We find ways to pick up the pieces of ourselves along the way. To find love for ourselves is a survivors goal.

I am considered to be a high function bipolar. I feel better about myself when I am not around my dysfunctional family. I have also been diagnosed with PTSD and my family members stir up anxiety by either bringing up the past, verbal abuse or physical intimidation. Unfortunately, my work history is mostly manual labor and because of my petite stature have repeated orthopedic injuries. I am retired and considered 40% disabled due to my orthopedic injuries, although working on going back to work part-time in the administrative field, which I have over 20 years experience. I am hoping to buy into an assisted living facility (apartment), so I may settle into my "golden years". Living with family is only a temporary option. Although, I have considered a room mate, I am too fearful that I will get stuck with someone with "issues" far less harmonious than mine and I require sleep. I am tired of being identified as bipolar and unstable. I have not been in a relationship in over 10 years. In the past relationships I have been responsible for managing my significant other's finances and checkbook. I do not appreciate a person who does not, or will not manage a budget with flights of fancy when it come to their recreation expense. They simply are too much work and I am unable to respect them. In the 20 years I have been dealing with my diagnosis my family has never read a book on the subject and only once did my mother ever attend a session and that was when my medication regime of 20 years was no longer therapeutic and I had lost 20 lbs. It is impossible to have an educated conversation with "concerned" loved ones who remain condescending. It is vital to have a support system outside the family. I find your article without value, patronizing and pushing the mental health agenda back onto the family. A quick fix and cop out, that social workers often fall back on. What are your credentials and what is your level of experience in the mental health field?