Depression Help for Men? “Suck it Up, Princess.”

October 22, 2014 Guest Author

Many years ago, when a friend was a bit down or depressed, I thought, “Suck it up princess,” or “Have a cup of concrete” were appropriate responses from one man to another. After living with depression for the last 14 years, I realize what a jackass I was.

I Grew Up Thinking Men Had to Be Tough and Emotionless

I grew up thinking that being a man meant being tough, emotionless, swearing and drinking. Now, at 48 years of age, I realize how false, fake and damaging this attitude was, and not just to myself. (Read: Depression in Men)

Being tough actually means being able to talk openly about all the issues in your life. It takes more guts to open up and expose your innermost emotions than it does to “be tough” and keep it all bottled up.

This Attitude About Men and Depression Lead to a Suicide Attempt

When men are depressed, some might tell them to - suck it up, princess - but this isn't helpful. Learn about what really makes a man with depression tough.Trying to be what I thought was tough and strong lead me to a suicide attempt. I bottled everything up, including my depression, unwilling to accept that my mind wasn’t working the way I wanted it to. I was unwilling and unable to accept that I needed help. (Important Depression Symptoms in Men)

Being tough actually requires looking deep within ourselves and having the courage to accept that something isn’t right. Toughness is the strength to take this realization and do something about it, to seek help. Toughness is admitting to ourselves we have a problem, like depression, and need help for it.

Now I Try to Help Men (and Others) with Depression

I am happy I am the age I am. I am happy I have the life experience I have because it gives me insight and understanding into what so many are struggling with on a daily basis.

No longer do I tell people to “suck it up” or some other demeaning catch cry when someone is depressed. Now I ask what I can do to help him or her. I have married a lady with schizoaffective disorder and am learning how to help her manage that. Life has been, and will continue to have its ups and down just the same as it will for anyone.

Now I spend my time trying to help people instead of putting them down. Now I understand the difficulties they live with daily. Now I have compassion and empathy and want to do whatever I can to help people with depression and other mental illnesses.

We Need to Teach Our Men about Their Emotions and Mental Health

We all need to realize that, for so long, the males in our society, have been conditioned to think they need to be tough and strong and that means not having emotions, always being the “rock.”

Now is the time to teach our boys and young men the true meaning of being tough – knowing, accepting and then taking action when something in their head just isn’t quite right.

This article was written by:

When men are depressed some might tell them to "suck it up, princess," but this isn't helpful. Learn about what really makes a man with depression tough.Ian Knabel is a speaker, blogger and passionate mental health advocate with a lifetime of experience living with my wife's and my own mental health issues. I help people who are affected by mental health issues understand how to accept, manage and succeed so that they enjoy fulfilling, effective loving relationships in all aspects of their lives. Find Ian on Facebook, Twitter, and Google+.

To be a guest author on the Your Mental Health Blog, go here.

APA Reference
Author, G. (2014, October 22). Depression Help for Men? “Suck it Up, Princess.”, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, July 16 from

Author: Guest Author

February, 9 2015 at 9:18 am

There is nothing worse, then going through hell of depression. You wake up each day, not knowing if you will make it
'till night, or you will simply give in, and end it all yourself. The drugs sometimes help, and sometimes make it worse.
Felt like I had no control whatsoever over my own life. But with some help from my family, the people who truly love me, I
managed to get myself out of that hell-hole. It took me a while, but I managed to teach myself how to push trough the day, and keep on fighting.
In the end, it all comes down to helping yourself get up and fight, because without that no one can truly help you, no matter how much they would want to.
To conclude, help yourself, so you could go out into the world, and start truly living, and that will be a cure on it's own.

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