Adult ADHD Tastes Like Feet
I attended a dinner party last Saturday. I haven't attended such an event in years.
I'm not sure what happened, but I had a great time and didn't offend anybody. I must have been off my game. That's alright, though, because I made up for it by Monday.
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Somebody at the party made a rude comment that troubled me. It troubled other people as well. I was so surprised by it on Saturday that I didn't respond, but it percolated in my mind and finally started fireworks Sunday night. I then went to bed and even woke up simmering. I may go into it sometime, but suffice it to say that the woman in question painted guys with a very broad brush. Since I was one of only two guys there at the party, I took offense at that brush.
That wasn't the bad part, however.
I woke up Monday with a relapse from a bug; I was a little out of it. What a perfect time to post two glib li'l tweets about Saturday. It was my idea that it might spawn some interesting discussions on sexism. Somehow it hadn't occurred to me that if I posted a vague comment about an unspecified, rude female author then many of the female authors who were in that room, who also follow me on Twitter, might think I was referring to them. Instead of discussing sexism, I was soothing dear friends who worried they had offended me.
ADHD and Conversation
ADHD affects us all differently, and where it affects me most noticeably is in conversation where I will bypass the car chase and jump right to the crash. Those little details that help people follow along get left by the side of the road in a cloud of dust as I race to the good parts.
I had exchanged emails with one of the women at the party who was bothered by the comment. I even had an hour long conversation with another female author friend about the topic. Both conversations went well, so what went wrong on Twitter?
I got careless.
When I write emails I work very hard to communicate clearly. When I talk on the phone, I work just as hard. I know what trouble I can get myself into. I lasso my tongue and rassle that varmint down. When I post on Twitter, though, I open the pen and let the varmint out. It's my ADHD outlet where I can freely discuss absolutely any thought in whatever random order I want. Great for sharing links and making jokes; lousy for deep discussions. I didn't rein in my impulses and reaped the consequences.
As far as I know, I didn't offend anyone except maybe the rude lady who has yet to realize all this happened on a public server (What was I thinking?). To think that I worked so hard to make Saturday go perfectly, then erased it all with one flippant tweet. That's my life with ADHD. It's as if the ADHD me takes over the wheel for a bit, drives us into a tree, then slips away and lets the responsible me take the fall.
Well, no matter. I've had some great conversations come out of this, and it will further entertain my friends and family. My 17 year old has already had a belly laugh at my expense, and I had something to blog about. I'll know these newfound friends are lasting ones when they can laugh with me, too.
APA Reference
Cootey, D.
(2010, January 27). Adult ADHD Tastes Like Feet, HealthyPlace. Retrieved
on 2024, December 25 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/adultadhd/2010/01/adult-adhd-tastes-like-feet
Author: Douglas Cootey
Hi Addaboy!
(Great name, btw). For some weird reason, when I was doing a Google search w/the keywords, "female adhd friends," for an article I'm working on about, well, friends of ADHD women, this blog post came up. I'm so glad I stumbled on it, I really enjoyed the read. And I agree with Gina, some of your metaphors are fantastic: memorable, vivid images. Very cool! I'm usually so busy writing my own blog and articles about ADHD (I'm a Chick-A-D-D), that I have little time to read any one else's work. Loved the title and the photo, too! It was actually the title that hooked my interest- very provocative and creative. I once wrote a blog post called,
"Carpenter Ants or Quiche," which is my favourite post title so far for my own blog.
Thanks for the post, & nice to "meet" you here.
Cheers,
Zoë
ADHD from A to Zoë
http://blogs.psychcentral.com/adhd-zoe/
I am a sensitive person and even i get worried if someone points out of such a thing which troubles me a lot. Great post Douglas.
Unfortunately for me, when I stick my foot in my mouth nobody has difficulty pointing out what I've just done. Talk about drawing attention to yourself! Haha
Hi Addaboy!
(Great name, btw). For some weird reason, when I was doing a Google search w/the keywords, "female adhd friends," for an article I'm working on about, well, friends of ADHD women, this blog post came up. I'm so glad I stumbled on it, I really enjoyed the read. And I agree with Gina, some of your metaphors are fantastic: memorable, vivid images. Very cool! I'm usually so busy writing my own blog and articles about ADHD (I'm a Chick-A-D-D), that I have little time to read any one else's work. Loved the title and the photo, too! It was actually the title that hooked my interest- very provocative and creative. I once wrote a blog post called,
"Carpenter Ants or Quiche," which is my favourite post title so far for my own blog.
Thanks for the post, & nice to "meet" you here.
Cheers,
Zoë
ADHD from A to Zoë
http://blogs.psychcentral.com/adhd-zoe/
I drive my family nuts with my use of metaphors. Glad somebody out there appreciates them. ;)
Great title. Love the phonetic alliteration. Thanks for commenting.
I love where you write " It's as if the ADHD me takes over the wheel for a bit, drives us into a tree, then slips away and lets the responsible me take the fall". I don't have ADHD but boy can I relate. It seems I have a way of saying the opposite of what I mean to say. Gets me into trouble all the time.
Some great metaphors (and insights) here, Douglas.
My favorites:
1.
"Those little details that help people follow along get left by the side of the road in a cloud of dust as I race to the good parts."
This is a big one. From my own experience, it feels pretty awful to have someone completely miss my point or misinterpret my meaning simply because their brain needed something simpler, more stimulating, and usually negative.
Fortunately, this has happened blessedly few times over the years of interacting with many adults with ADHD. But when it does, especially in print, there's nothing I can do to defend myself. The misperception is true in their minds, and they often repeat it as fact.
2.
"It’s as if the ADHD me takes over the wheel for a bit, drives us into a tree, then slips away and lets the responsible me take the fall."
These kinds of explanations can really help people without ADHD understand what it's like to have it. Thank you. Keep up the good work!
Gina Pera, author
Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.?
htthttp://adultadhdrelationships.blogspot.com/
It is that nasty impulsiveness thing that gets folks with ADHD. The problem is that there is part of that 'straight' talk off the top of our heads that kind of appeals to us and is incredibly satisfying. Especially when there has been an injustice of some kind involved. It's almost like, 'Look, If I had more control over my impulses, I would be capable of shutting up about this kind of insult but I have no control over them so her goes nothing..." I hate to admit it but for me it is sometimes like scratching that hard to get to itch.
I had primarily inattentive ADD as a child and have kind of morphed into a combined type where I have some impulsiveness. I don't have any of the true risk taking impulsiveness that my 8 year old son who is Hyperactive/Impulsive has and I was not remotely impulsive as a child. It is incredible how this disease changes as we age. There is part of me that, I hate to admit, finds my impulsive behavior really interesting.
Tweeting could be my Waterloo....
I tend to have the opposite problem. I go into great detail. Of course this gives me many more ideas to add to the conversation, so It becomes a monolog.
Leisha ~ Something we have in common then. ;)
Brodi ~ I believe that between our life and our impulse control center lies the internet. There’s bound to be trouble.
mara ~ Lack of impulse control. Tight that up and you can save yourself most of your headaches. That’s what they tell me anyway. I’m not an expert at it.
ok,i think i get it..i too have the bad tounge.i alway,go to the punch line,befor some one get through the story..
i also do not get why i say random things???that have nothing to do with what is going onnn.
I've gotten myself in trouble on the internet too many times to count. Laughing is the best way to deal with any of it.
Great post, Douglas. I like the thought of our tounges being varmints that need to be lassoed and penned. It made me smile thinking of how many times my tounge has gotten me in trouble. :)