Affirming Your Right to Love

Getting Off The Rollercoaster

This chapter is about the recognition of self worth. It's intent is to help you obtain your entitled right to Love, and to bring about a happy and productive life. However, to receive Love, we have to give Love.

If you believe in a concept where forgiveness is meant only to be expressed outwardly and never to oneself, you will never go forward in life. But when you learn to understand and tame the Ego, and live with a Love guided by Truth and instinct, you will easily negate any feelings that try to maintain unworthiness.

Even though the potential for these feelings will always be present in our lives, the action of asserting new beliefs and thinking, will guide you to the truth that where there is Love, there is no fear. When you assert yourself, you are empowering yourself with actions motivated from Truth and Love. It will be through this new way of thinking that your actions will be automatically good and kind. You cannot be selfish when your actions are Loved based, and in knowing that, no person can rightly call you selfish.

When people lovingly assert themselves in the company of others who are still guided by any degree of Ego thinking, they will naturally relate this behaviour with their own fear based thinking. When they see people acting with a confidence born from feelings linked with Truth and love, any fears that they may be harbouring will come out in some form of opposition or resistance. An attempt to project guilt on that person for their behaviour is a typical conditioned response to actions outside their own sphere of experience and understanding. Should such circumstances arise for you, then simply activate your awareness rather than defensive options and ask yourself:

"What is the fear that motivates this persons opposition?"

As you maintain such peaceful attitudes, your commitment to the task that you are asserting yourself to will remain intact.

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Here we can see how the importance of acting to ones truth is tested when people try to assert their own thinking upon you. Be Alert! because their own fear based thinking has the potential to become a limiting factor in your own growth experiences. As you learn to identify your own truth by cultivating instinct, you become more in tune with the paths that are right for you. By following your own truth, you can never fall into the trap of blaming others from entering into any mistake.

Sometimes, there may be a requirement to step out very, very boldly, but there might also be strong or conflicting signals from two or more areas. If you make a mistake, then simply try to learn from such experiences. Since you want to learn, you shall lay aside burdens of shame, guilt, or embarrassment, as you then face your newest truth which acknowledges your error.

Developing your own independence is greatly advanced by the input of other independent people. Not only from an ability to grow by example, but by nurturing and maintaining your own inner thinking which says that you no longer need be dependent on externals for your Spiritual and emotional well being.

As I mentioned in the Foreword, the action of producing this book was a remarkable help in consolidating all my feelings. Try writing down your own feelings as a tangible expression of your inner thoughts, and then read them out aloud to allow the words to come back to you. Quite often in the process of developing new thoughts of awareness, saying such thoughts silently to yourself can be thwarted by the action of the Ego fearing the process of change being established. It can wash over your important thoughts, as if to make you mumble a word within your mind. The effect is to reduce the power behind the new concept you are building; It is attempting to let you use matchsticks for the foundations of the magnificent Temple you are constructing... the Temple that will be your home forever.

Call on affirmations when you are struggling or are in pain. Quite often, there are certain times that we need to have access to a special reserve of strength when we become vulnerable through many and varied reasons. These are the times that the Ego will start about the business of asserting the old negative beliefs in attempt to kill the pain. Once again you must remember that the Ego is responding to the years of experiences that have come its way. When you come into such a situation, the very act of calling on an affirmation is a most wonderful sign that you are going forward.

Assert yourself! Feel free and Be free to be yourself. You are in control of every aspect of your life. Small and big, they all have equal importance since they all contain the things that shall empower you. You act to the moment with confidence and you have freed yourself from fear based thoughts and actions through awareness. You are a together person; you are one with yourself, and the true loving self acts with peaceful confidence in all situations.

The great variety of experiences that people write about, give us the ability to find someone who talks of aspects of life that hit very close to home. When we come across such a book, we feel we are no longer alone. We feel there are people out there who understand what is real for us. We feel that someone appreciates and cares enough to let us know that they are thinking of our situation. Even though they may not be with us in person, we can find comfort in knowing that there is always someone out there who Loves us. Such books are providing a bond for humanity from common experiences. We are never really alone, for our thoughts will always link us.

If we go on thinking that no one Loves us, then it is only because we are believing that no one would understand us or our situation. You have been afraid for nothing. YOU ARE LOVED. Go home to yourself and find your peace. When you have rested, wake up, go outside, then look around; Love will not be very far.

Step out and admit your new confident self to Yourself. Don't shrink back from the knowledge that you are empowered. Remember, You are a Good Person. Uncover the dreams that you've always had, for now you have all that is necessary to pursue the long overdue things you've been putting off for so long. With the discovery of your new energies, you will be unstoppable.

Never criticise your best efforts. In the learning process that one goes through in turning a lifestyle completely around, mistakes become an inevitable part of the journey. However, it is through these mistakes that we come to Hone-in on the way of living that is just right for us. They are so important for us, that we must wait courageously for them. We might go down a road and find that we have taken a wrong turn, but we can still choose to treat these mistakes as having worth since they guide us, and tell us...

"No... don't go this way...

can you now see that this way is not for you?...

rry another way"

Remember, they are only mistakes... they WILL bring you to your ultimate freedom and ultimate destination. We all realise our own potential in different times and in different ways, but what is important to remember is that any awakening regardless of how it comes about, is indicating a vital turning point in your life. Through life's mirror action, the circumstances that bring about any awakenings can then be seen as valid and purposeful. From this we can now gain a peace since our highlighted circumstance has tapped us on the shoulder and literally rescued us. Through any such pain that allows a chance for personal growth, we can find a simple calm by letting go of any anxiety of our past since it has really untied us from old chains.

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When you are going through such a process, you must remember the concept of "THE NOW". Do not dwell on thoughts such as, "When will my life get better," but simply concentrate on the building of a better life. Get your power from your commitment to all things that are good and all things that can serve you. Your growth in the present is the most important aspect for consideration, and through Patience and gentleness of Self, you will proceed peacefully and surely. Have Faith that things will improve. If you give up your quest by giving in to the fear based ways of the Ego, you would most probably fall back into an old lifestyle since it is there that the Ego will see a deceptive security from the familiarity of known quantities that could be called on.

This way of thinking gains credibility if you stop to think that an aborted attempt to change into one new lifestyle, could be the same for any other since the fear of breaking out and the effort required might keep on dragging you backwards. By not fully letting go of your previous ways of thinking and living, you maintain an attachment to the life you are trying to depart from. On such a return, you will eventually bring new burdens of self limitations which keep holding you back in chances for opportunities, growth and goodness. Any thinking associated with unworthiness will then be given power. It is here that you might choose an option put forth by the Ego, and deny your True Self.

It is from this potential of sliding back that a foundation of determination can then be established. From now on, all your thinking must be positive and forward, and one of the tools to aid you in this task comes in the form of Affirmations.

An affirmation is generally a short sentence which is constructed and employed to alter or build new ways of thinking. They are called upon many times and in many situations to force old or negative conditioned responses from being actioned. A benefit of affirmations is the awakening to a great inner strength that is yours to call on at any time. Since the effect of affirmations is one of good and positive outcomes, the continued use of them will give you more-and-more endurance as the influence of the Ego on your thinking gradually dies away.

You will become that which you think.

Because of the limiting potential of anxiety to be present when building these new thought patterns, all aspects of your development must have the quality of Peace associated with them. It's normal to have fears and anxieties, so simply remember that you do not have to maintain such feelings. A good affirmation for this would be:

"I am growing and learning in Peace."

When you employ affirmations, always accentuate the positive.

More power is given to you when you use words such as:


as opposed to:


Keep your affirmation as positive as possible. For example, to say:


has a much greater impact than something like...


"I AM BEGINNING..." rather than "I WILL BEGIN..."

"I AM SUCCEEDING..." rather than, "I CAN SUCCEED..."

"I AM NEW..." rather than, "I AM GOING TO BE NEW"

"I HAVE FOUND MY ROAD HOME ..." rather than,



With regard to these examples; while the second part of each shows boldness and courage, the full assertive nature of the first part delivers unquestionable determination. Affirmations must be direct and precise without any element open for consideration or ambiguity.

Another example of an Affirmation is to Record positive words that speak of your Love and Goodness on a Cassette. When you make such a recording, speak in the "Second Person". Say...

"You are a Good Person".

"Through Your Love, you are Lovable".

Let such words come to your Ears and lay to rest in your Heart as if they were spoken by your most trusted friend. Indeed... they have been said by such a person... and that Person is Yourself. Make up your own Affirmations and record them. Listen to them as you lay down to rest at the end of each day. Listen to them again in the morning as you wake up and get ready for your new day.

Affirm the power of Love in the creation of the Dawn as you step out breathe the fresh air of the new day. Affirm the goodness in All Things you see and extract the essence of it's Creation.

Ask yourself ...

Why is it here?

What simplicity within it's nature is begging me to take notice of it?

What can I gain from this thing?

Indeed, when one contemplates Bees ´, one obtains understandings of Thoroughness and discipline. When one contemplates Snails ´, one obtains understandings of Patience and Tenacity. There are no limits to the way you can bring goodness to yourself. Affirm the infinite variety of Affirmations that are available to suit your particular need. Find one that compliments the current stage of your growth and employ it as often as you like. Affirmations are not subject to over use.

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As with many things, there is always an exception to the rule, for it is from the exceptions that our learning becomes more complete. I believe that the exception to the rule of keeping affirmations totally in the positive, is an affirmation in the negative being... "I am Not my Ego".


The next time you are sad or tearful, go to a mirror and look at yourself. You will see another person who cries, and your True Self will look with Compassionate eyes that long for the person it ´s see to be peaceful. Say to one that you see as if you were consoling a friend in time of pain...

"Be Peaceful."

Tell the one you look at that...

"Every thing is going to work out fine."

I personally found this very uplifting and powerful.

The more you flood your Life with Positive Values and Qualities, the more your Life will begin to Mirror these thoughts. Your happiness is your greatest gift to yourself, so for this happiness to be overflowing, you must believe in your worth, and your worth to happiness. Low self esteem is an illusion of Ego thinking brought about by the result of guidance not associated with Love.

What a wonderful feeling it is when we choose to think that mistakes do not have to remain permanent. This is the very concept of Forgiveness. If we can freely exercise the right to be forgiving of others, then we are equally entitled to this same forgiveness of ourselves. Remember always the Love of the True Self, and the Fear of the Ego... Which will you Choose?

Affirm your goodness. Affirm your link with Spirit. Affirm that the roads you travelled on were the roads you were on when you were searching for Love. Affirm that you can see your goal. Affirm you're on your way home. Affirm your future security and happiness. Affirm your future Love that Will be yours. Affirm the power of Affirmations.


I will be gentle with myself
for it is clear to me now
that I was only ever searching for Love.

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next: Getting Off the Roller Coaster The Gratitude Principle.

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, December 21). Affirming Your Right to Love, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, June 25 from

Last Updated: July 21, 2014

Medically reviewed by Harry Croft, MD

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