Fear of losing someone you love is a common fear. (Or something happening to someone you love.) These fears comes from a great love. The fear is love. But once you realize the love, and take action on that, there is no point to the fear. Fear is immobilizing, love is energizing. Remember, the biological reason for fear is to get us to act, after the action, the fear is pointless. (Worse than pointless, as it hurts you.)

PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) is a common ailment that is often misdiagnosed. That's because the symptoms of PTSD are similar to many other mental health disorders listed in the DSM manual. These include but are not limited to ADHD, Bipolar Disorder, Anxiety Disorders, Adjustment Disorders, Depressive Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, OCD, and Oppositional Defiant Disorder. Surprised?

I know I feel it, the cantankerous anxiety that seeps into my soul when I watch the news. How with every murder report, every bomb, every child drowning, every political mudsling; my faith in the future shrivels up a bit. My helplessness fills to the brim. So what is the answer? Not watch it? Avoid all negativity? Pretend it doesn't exist? No.

Flexibility is a main ingredient in countering anxiety Anxiety usually wants us to think that we need something a certain way "or else."  (Not that it tells us what the unsavory consequences are: Anxiety is always vague, never clear. This is how it holds it's power.) So when things don't happen that certain way, darn it, that good-for-nothing Anxiety has us all up in arms. Tied in a knot. Fumbling and immobilized. Discombobulated.

My anxiety shot through the roof when I became a parent. Everything seemed a little more important. I had a huge responsibility to keep this other human being safe and happy. Not just responsibility, but a strong desire to give him the world and never let him suffer.

Panic attacks suck the reality out of us! I talked two people down from panic attacks recently and both of them had been worrying that they had lost touch with reality. They felt totally disconnected to the world around them. In talking to them, they were so convincing. I almost believed that this episode was different. But I let go of my own fear for them. (My worry doesn't help anyone.) I quickly assessed that they were not, in fact, psychotic. They were speaking rationally and eloquently. And I remember from my panicky days how I felt different and disconnected.

Why is fear so powerful that it takes over even our rational mind? The answer to that is that survival is the most important consideration in evolutionary development. In an article in the December 14, 2007 Newsweek, entitled “The Roots of Fear,” Sharon Begley writes:

When deciding on ending a relationship, the first question we ask ourselves is: How do I know when enough is enough? Someone very special and beautiful asked me that question this week. In our culture, we are faced with all kinds of messages about relationships: see the good in people, relationships take work, rise above, and don't have too many expectations. Then, don't put up with anyone's disrespect, take care of yourself, set limits, leave abuse. These messages convolute all our decisions on how to set boundaries in relationships or know when it is right for us to leave them. We don't know who to blame, us or them.  Add to it worry and fear about being alone, or being abandoned, or about other people judging you, and it becomes a maze to wade through.

Anger is often anxiety's evil twin. We may express ourselves out of anger, but our problem is anxiety and all of its worries and fears. It can be very helpful to know when anxiety is behind anger; then we can address the right problem. So, do you have an anger problem or an anxiety issue?

Anxiety never comes out of the blue, as much as it seems that it does. There is always a context to it, an anxiety trigger. Always some perception of vulnerability that triggers the physiological response and the emotional response. But have you wondered why we get anxiety in the first place? How Do We Get Anxiety? Anxiety can be recruited into our lives in a variety of ways, but usually something happens to us that makes us feel vulnerable.  It could be something like a traumatic experience: sexual abuse, war, being mugged, a car accident, etc. Or it could be something else, like an illness (from the flu to cancer), having a conflict, a break up, embarrassment, hearing a scary story, etc.