Finding the Self-Esteem Sweet Spot: My Personal Experience

February 20, 2023 Teddy Mbukha

I, like many others, struggle with finding a healthy balance for most things, and finding my self-esteem sweet spot is no exception. As I navigate the highs and lows of self-confidence, I often wonder what level counts as optimal. My outlook on self-esteem was, for a very long time, one-sided. I didn't believe there was such a thing as high self-esteem. Now that I know better, I have been very conscious about my efforts to keep my self-worth at a healthy level. 

This discovery has also made me aware of many people's struggles with high self-esteem. One of the things that makes it quite tricky is the sky-high expectations we all impose on ourselves. The goal is not to work towards perfection but to find a realistic and healthy view of our worth and abilities.

In my experience, social media's projection of the highlight reels of people living their best lives was a huge pressure source. Trying to fit into that world and those lifestyles was very difficult. I wasn't being true to myself and abandoned everything I liked to mold myself into something that wasn't me, and I was struggling to readjust to my now-skewed view of the world. 

Finding the Self-Esteem Sweet Spot

Developing a realistic view of who I am has been more difficult than I care to admit. In all honesty, it takes a lot of effort to be conscious of your flaws and mistakes while acknowledging your worth and abilities. But, striving for balance is crucial to maintaining a healthy sense of self-worth

One of the things I did that helped was read a lot. I switched from endless hours of social media scrolling to reading. This helped me find helpful techniques to deal with low or high self-esteem

Some of the ways I am building and maintaining a balanced sense of self-esteem are:

  • Spending time alone -- If you consistently search for distractions to avoid spending time alone with your thoughts, you have not reached the self-esteem sweet spot. Taking time alone to reflect on who you are and what you want from life is a great starting point. Balancing my self-esteem started with first understanding who I was, defining my goal, identifying my flaws, and embracing who I really was.

  • Practicing self-care -- Self-neglect is a familiar foe that I've had to shed by being very purposeful about the choices I make for my physical and mental health. Once I learned how to take care of myself by eating right, exercising, and indulging in activities that make me happy, I began rebalancing my life and self-esteem.

  • Being realistic -- This is easier said than done with today's societal standards; however, I am learning with time. I realize that it is not enough just to set goals; I need to follow through and achieve them. That commitment has been difficult, but I'm learning to revel in the sense of achievement that washes over me when I keep working on getting better. 

The Bottom Line

A balanced, healthy self-esteem level is vital for your overall wellbeing. Understanding that there are dangers to too much or too little self-esteem is crucial. Don't wait until tomorrow to start making changes in your life; the time is now.

APA Reference
Mbukha, T. (2023, February 20). Finding the Self-Esteem Sweet Spot: My Personal Experience, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, June 24 from

Author: Teddy Mbukha

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