Being a people pleaser with social anxiety causes problems for me. Social anxiety can pressure us to make other people happy, rather than ourselves. I have spent my life molding myself into a person that I hope other people will like. I adapt my actions, words, and sometimes even beliefs, to make people feel that I’m agreeing with them.

Borderline dissociation is one of the most confusing things to deal with as a person who struggles with borderline personality disorder (BPD). How do we learn how to create a solid reality rather than having to constantly regain what we think is the reality? Is it ever going to get easier? I don't know if I'm confused because I feel nothing from the borderline dissociation or more confused because I can't figure out which reality is better.

Society's expectations have pressured me to live in a certain way for as long as I can remember. There are specific life events and accomplishments that society seems to expect of everyone. Examples are: graduate high school, go to college, establish a good career, get married, have children, and the list goes on. Society's expectations fuel my anxiety and depression, and here's why.

People who struggle with mental illness, especially borderline, can have a hard time keeping their own sense of self within a relationship, making heartbreak that much more painful. I know I am definitely guilty of this. How do I not feel lost when I lost such a big part of my life? As I'm still trying to process losing my relationship, I'm being forced to find a new sense of self that allows me to feel safe alone.

Stigma can cause shame and guilt in people with mental illness. Have you ever felt guilty for having a mental illness? I definitely have. When I reveal to someone that I have depression, my heart starts to beat fast and my hands get clammy. What are they going to think? Are they going to scoff at what they consider a weakness? Are they going to cut ties with me altogether? This is one of the scariest situations someone with mental illness has to face and it's because shame and guilt can be caused by stigma.

Rapid cycling is already hard enough, but when it comes down to a never-ending feeling of aggression, you have to find coping mechanisms to get that anger out. Mental illness episodes don't always have to be difficult, it's just about finding the right coping skills to manage aggression from rapid cycling.

Life after depression treatment isn't what I thought it would be. I always thought the depression would fade away after my treatments concluded. Electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) had brought me out of a non-functional state. After transitioning to transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS), I was feeling even better. My medications were finally working. I was no longer numb. I was capable of emotion again. At last, it seemed like the depression was finally gone. But life after depression treatment wasn't all roses.

Unfortunately, borderline and relationships just don't seem to go hand in hand. Everywhere you look there's talk of how it just won't work and your constant fear of abandonment will only leave you controlling and dependent. Sometimes all you can feel is alone. Relationships with borderline are tough.

My name is Jenny Capper, and I am now co-authoring Mental Health for the Digital Generation. I am so honored to be writing for HealthyPlace. I have been struggling with major depression and anxiety for 12 years. It is my hope that sharing my experience with mental illness will help you or your loved one feel understood and not alone.

Never give up hope. Sometimes in your life, it comes down to seconds before you feel like the whole world is going to fall apart--your whole body is filled with disappointment and you don't know if you can keep on fighting. That was me, along with the million other fans, yesterday during the Minnesota Vikings vs New Orlean Saints playoff game. But with 10 seconds left, a miracle happens that reminds me that if you never give up hope, what you may think is impossible can change everything.