Learning in the Aftermath of a Toxic Relationship

October 30, 2019 Megan Rahm

What is the aftermath of toxic relationships? In general, I am a positive person who can see the good in people, but I recently went through a tough situation with a person that left me questioning how I cope with stress and handle social interactions. This person is no longer around me but this situation has had a big impact on my life. I want to share the things that I've learned.

Description of the Toxic Relationship

This person would try to intimidate and scare me. She pounded me with constant criticism and would try to humiliate me in front of others. My anxiety was off the charts and I was second-guessing my every move. It was like walking on eggshells when she was around and she was almost always around.

I endured this abuse for several months and for almost the whole time I was wondering what I could do. Was it something with my own behavior? She had been through a lot so maybe I just needed to be more understanding. Maybe I needed thicker skin. Our personalities just clashed. I just needed to learn to cope better. I had to remember that not everyone is going to like me and that's okay.

I came up with every explanation and excuse I could think of and exhausted all of my ideas. Towards the end of this period of time, I stopped beating myself up and realized I shouldn't try to justify emotional abuse. I didn't deserve it and there is no excuse for it.

Learning and Growing in the Aftermath of Toxic Relationships

In the aftermath of this toxic relationship, I'm glad to be no longer around this person and I'm doing much better. I can finally breathe. I have since learned that this person was affecting others as well. I wish I would have protected myself and asked for help sooner. I was so concerned about what other people thought and blaming myself when this person's (or any person's) actions are completely out of my control.

I believe in life that most people are good people, but it is inevitable that a few will cause you harm. Learning how to stand up and protect yourself is crucial. This is something I am working on now.

Seek help if someone is threatening you or exuding abusive behavior. Do whatever you need to do to stay well. It is okay to distance yourself from toxic people. Put your mental health and safety first.

I feel somewhat damaged in the aftermath of this toxic relationship and I am still recovering and learning from it. There is definitely some processing left to be done.

APA Reference
Rahm, M. (2019, October 30). Learning in the Aftermath of a Toxic Relationship, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, July 19 from

Author: Megan Rahm

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November, 23 2020 at 1:43 pm

This was not helpful at all. Nothing to learn from, nothing to help.

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