Initially, the title of this blog was "A Recipe For Disaster..." But I used to really (stress this) enjoy a few cocktails. Or an entire bottle of cocktail mix. And that nearly killed me. That aside, in this blog I want to focus on why those living with mental illness may abuse substances, what some of these substances are, and the impact this can have when we are working to recover from mental illness. Why Might People With Mental Illness Abuse Substances?

Let's do the math: mental illness = positivity. Right? Well, usually not, but it works in our favor to try to find positive aspects when recovering from mental illness. I'm going to break this down into the three stages of recovery we all go through.

Ah, yes, categories. When first diagnosed with a mental illness, many of us already feel as though we are suddenly defined by our illness. We immediately need to drastically change our lives. That's tough enough but, more often than not, we also have to explain to those in our lives that, yes, we have been diagnosed with a mental illness, but we are still the same person. You and I both know that this isn't easy, but it is a great way to weed out those who will support you and those who may not.

When first diagnosed with a mental illness, our lives--and the lives of those closest to us--change drastically. Immediately. For lack of a better cliche: like night and day; black and white. We know, instinctively, that our lives will never be the same. But if we take positive steps to move forward in mental health recovery, our lives will become more manageable.

When first diagnosed with a mental illness our lives--and the lives of those closest to us--change drastically. For lack of a better cliche: like night and day; black and white. We know, instinctively, that our lives will never be the same. Sometimes, we fear they will become more difficult, or we will forget who we were prior to diagnosis. It often feels as if we are losing a part of ourselves--our "self." And that's scary. Let's explore why we may feel this way.

I had a tough year.  I typically have a lower mood once October kicks me in the ass, but this year was worse. I watched seven seasons of Lost in one month--granted I had never seen it before. But still! I even went as far as to abandon writing this blog. I was not thinking clearly. Writing this blog is an important part of my life. As usual, you are probably wondering where I am going again. Yes, the woman who wrote a memoir on mental illness and addiction should perhaps stop talking about her own misery. But this morning--back on my feet again--I remembered that time and the words "solitary confinement" came to mind.

Let me preface this post by telling you that when you live with a mental illness you know why it's so hard. It can feel impossible. But have you ever sat down and really thought about it? Thinking about things, writing them down, can allow us to make sense of something that is often complicated and hard to understand.

A blog, from me, that is actually a bit positive in its desire to promote mental health? Well, yes, this is. If you read enough of my blogs (say two or three) you probably gather that I mix in a healthy amount of sarcasm--alongside with the recovering from mental illness bit. If you read this blog often enough it's clear I've had a rough time the past few months. Honestly, it feels like years and maybe it has been, but this fall and winter hit me hard. I'm sort of back on my feet again--albeit tottering--and so this blog is less sarcastic than most. Perhaps it is even verging on positive?

Its 6:59 on Thursday morning. I've been drinking coffee and procrastinating online for an hour; the radio is always on and I don't usually hear it. I just like background noise. That's the hyperactive part of me. More than one thing always needs to be happening. It's pretty irritating.

Mental Illness and relapse go hand in hand. Sort of like addiction and relapse. The statistics for both are rather dire: relapse, at some point in our recovery, often occurs. Having said that, there are some damn lucky folks who become stabilized and never become unstable again. I hope they recognize how lucky--how blessed--they are. But in this post we are not talking about those who live a life of sustained recovery. We are focusing on those of us who falter from time to time--falter and pick ourselves back up. The majority of us.