Everywhere you turn, you see or hear about CrossFit, Zumba or Mud Runs. Within minutes of scrolling down your Facebook feed, you may see people on diets or cleanses or posting “before and after” photographs. It’s terrific that people are working on bettering themselves in healthy, up-and-coming ways, but it also takes a toll on those dealing with body image issues. By having photographs and messages thrown from every angle, some people may see this not as being helpful, but as a reminder that they continue to struggle. For those who do not have the motivation or interest in getting healthy or fit, these constant reminders can become overwhelming. We know that feeling overwhelmed often leads to anxiety or anger and when you’re at that point -- you must find a safe outlet for those emotions.

Life doesn’t always go as planned. Routines are broken and schedules are never set in stone the way we want them to be. This is because life gets in the way, whether or not we want it to, and it is up to us to handle those bumps in the road. Some people turn to self-harm as an answer due to something unplanned happening in their life. This can range from getting a bad grade to the death of a loved one. Everyone has a different breaking point and for some, the smallest things can make that break occur. The most important thing is to look at the big picture and decide how important the issue really is and figure out a healthy way to go about dealing with it.

A moment of normalcy in self-harm recovery can go unappreciated. But we shouldn’t wait until we are feeling sick or depressed to realize how it feels to be happy or content. We often don’t recognize how we feel when we no longer struggle with unrelenting urges to hurt ourselves. In fact, it usually takes a negative situation to make us realize how lucky we were to feel, well, normal. I know it’s difficult to describe what normal means, but let's try to find our own normal so we can appreciate those moments of normalcy in self-harm recovery. What would a moment of normalcy be for you?

It’s just as hard for those who have stopped self-harming to move past daily, difficult urges to hurt themselves. Triggers are everywhere. When some may see a pen cap as, well, a pen cap, you may see it as a way to release some stress. For those who use paper clips to hold together papers together, you may see the sharp edge as the escape you need. These triggers still hit home for those who haven’t self-harmed in years. Even when you have found other ways to overcome negative thoughts, flashbacks of self-harm may still flicker in your mind. Memories are built into the music you listen to, the smells surrounding you and the people you keep by your side. Sometimes, these memories bring you back to an unsafe time.

We all want to be happy. However, many of us fight a battle that makes happiness not an easy thing to hold onto. We tend to stress over the journey to finding happiness or to finding ourselves. Some people cut or burn themselves because they are lost on this path and are at a place in their lives where they think they need to have all of these answers. When these answers aren’t crystal clear, it can cause unneeded anxiety and stress. You can’t always search for happiness or devote your life to finding the ideal person you want to be. Sometimes those answers find you first and it’s up to you to open your eyes and realize it.

For those who struggle with self-harm, emotions are often intense. When you’re in a positive, safe place, you tend to feel as if you will always have the strength to push past those daily stressors. When worried or anxious, your body goes into hyperactive mode, thinking that a small cut or burn may turn off the paranoia. For those who self-harm, anger can be one of the most frightening feelings of all because when you feel this emotion, it is hard to stop yourself from harming your body. It can be difficult controlling unsteady emotions, especially for those with mental illness. Emotions play a huge role in overcoming the need to self-harm. Once you find ways to effectively control your emotions, you may find it easier to control the urges to cut or burn or pick.

A group of us at work recently held an event focusing on ways to help de-stress the frazzled minds of mothers. Even though I may not yet be a parent, I know that parents carry a lot of anxiety on their shoulders. They must be happy and confident for their children while also focusing on their own needs. Sometimes, we too act a certain way to look happy on the outside when we are really struggling on the inside.

I’ve been having the most frightening nightmares recently. These dreams could be due to my recent obsession with the new television show, Salem. However, some of these nightmares have been bringing me back to my years of cutting. One thing is for sure: nightmares filled with negative flashbacks are not good for the struggling and recovering self-harmer.

Not only did I forget to recognize The Semicolon Project on April 16, I also didn’t submit a blog on the day I was supposed to. I praise myself for being timely and recognizing days that I see as important. I typically am very organized and sometimes I become obsessed with routine. However, when I am a little off with my schedule, I tend to be filled with regret and frustration. You can’t regret something you did or should have done – we are humans and it happens. Don't let regret lead to self-harm.

Sometimes the signs we find that tell us to stop self-harming are tragic. Many people see the death of a loved one or a disease stricken friend as a symbol to move forward and away from your own demons. I am at fault because the death of my brother was what made me stop my self-injurious behaviors. His struggle was what made me realize that my cutting was not worth the physical pain he had been tortured with. He had been one of the few people I had discussed my self-harm with and knowing he had been through so much pain, not caused by himself, made me almost feel selfish. Yes, my brother’s death was the tragic sign I needed to stop cutting. But now, looking around, I see so many other symbols that could have helped me stop.