Embracing resistance in eating disorder recovery is key to our health and happiness. It can be a confusing process because the eating disorder didn’t develop overnight. We didn’t wake up one morning and say, “Hey, I found a brilliant way to destroy my life, my relationships, my health, and my self-esteem. Hello, eating disorder, come right in.” We didn’t realize that our “diet” would lead to a downward spiral. At some point, we all face the choice of recovery, and it’s scary (An Exercise in Letting Go of Fear in Eating Disorder Recovery). We must venture in the opposite direction of the path we’ve known. Resistance is normal. Here’s how embracing resistance in eating disorder recovery can be simple.

When our eating pattern and eating disorder are exposed, there’s a connotation that something is broken, unsettled, or disordered. Disorder is a term that swims in a level of metaphorical darkness. No one wants to admit that they have a disorder. It’s much easier to say that we have strange eating patterns, or that we exercise intensely. No matter what level our eating, body image, or exercise patterns lie, if they’re causing us stress in any part of our lives, then they’ve become a problem. So the exposure of our eating patterns and eating disorder can be a good thing.  

Safe coping skills in eating disorder recovery are so important. Having an eating disorder can feel like walking around in a black hole, lost and in darkness. As we all know, simply stopping the disorder doesn’t happen overnight. In recovery, we go through a process of learning our triggers. Prior to this, we never knew when we’d be triggered and when that neural pathway would fire us down the road of our disordered patterns. In the disorder, we often had zero coping skills for emotions except the eating disorder, so, naturally, it’s the one we chose every time. In our eating disorder recovery we can develop many safe coping skills to assist us in getting, and staying, healthy.

Mirror triggers are one of the many triggers in eating disorder recovery. Two common themes for those with eating disorders are a repulsion of fat and negative or distorted body image. Recovery includes adjusting our thoughts and feelings around these two, in spite of eating disorder triggers. It’s important to note, however, that no two people recover exactly the same way. Last week we talked about weight gain during recovery and viewing ourselves in the mirror (How to Deal with Weight Changes In Eating Disorder Recovery). One person told me that that they couldn’t look in the mirror because it made them want to cry. This made my heart hurt because it’s an honest, raw, and legitimate feeling. Many of us have experienced this feeling, myself included, and it’s a source of deep sorrow. So, how do we keep moving forward with mirror triggers in eating disorder recovery?

Some of us believe eating disorder lies. A teacher of mine likes to say that we all have an 18-year internship. That internship teaches us the models from which we view the world. These models of relationship, love, family, connection, etc., are the ones we blindly replicate unless something intervenes. For thousands of us, something did, in the form of an eating disorder (anorexia, bulimia, or binge eating disorder). We can either be upset about that, or we can see it as a sign that something is awry. We have the opportunity to take a closer look at eating disorder lies, if we choose. 

National Eating Disorders Week 2015 officially runs from February 22-28. I think that sometimes it is easy to blow this week off every year, because the reality is that we are at a point (at least in the United States), where most people are fairly "aware" of eating disorders. For the most part, people are familiar with anorexia, bulimia, or binge eating and may even know someone who suffers but we still need Eating Disorders Awareness Week.

Not a day goes by without me feeling grateful about being able to share with you on this blog my lived experience with an eating disorder. The concept of giving back to others who stand where I once stood makes me very happy and truly helps me maintain my recovery.

Very often, I'll come across guidelines explaining or offering guidance on what to say or not to say to someone suffering from an eating disorder. Though these guidelines are useful and important in order to give those who are not familiar with eating disorders a frame of reference, they can still lead to awkward or hurtful interactions, simply because these kind of conversations surrounding eating disorders and mental illness are never easy to have.

Every day, I make small choices which greatly impact the maintenance of my bulimia recovery. One of these choices starts with thinking ahead in the morning on the meals I plan to have throughout the day; while another is being mindful of the inner dialogue I have about my self-image and how it relates to my eating habits.

Having a list (or shoebox) full of coping skills is awesome -- if it's nearby when an urge strikes. So what happens when you're driving home after work? Or hanging out at the mall killing time? Those coping skills you have on your shelf at home aren't going to do you any good -- which is why you have to have go-to coping skills for on-the-go, too.