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Learning to trust yourself after trauma can feel like walking through a minefield. In my experience, if I take one wrong step, I fear my entire life will somehow implode. Even the most minor decisions send me into a fight-or-flight spiral. I deny my intuition and operate out of fear, craving a sense of security and certainty one simply cannot have in life. Learning to trust myself after trauma has been difficult.
Looking for a new job is never easy, but depression while job hunting is even worse. Being unemployed at the same time is terrible, too. Unfortunately, I have experienced that in the last couple of years. Getting lost in the cumbersome tasks of revamping my resume and applying for jobs is dispiriting. Thus, it becomes easy for job hunting to cause my depression to set in quickly.
It took me several years of personal growth and cultural awareness to realize there are systemic barriers to eating disorder treatment. My battle with anorexia was painful and tumultuous, but access to therapeutic interventions made the healing journey feel possible. While I am immensely grateful for this, I also cannot brush aside the conspicuous reality that certain prohibitive eating disorder treatment barriers still exist.
Unfortunately, retail and service workers are often the target of verbal abuse. No one deserves to be called names, insulted, or threatened, especially while doing their job. Sadly, verbal abuse in retail and service professions is becoming more frequent in many restaurants and stores.
One thing I’ve learned about having schizoaffective disorder is how to use coping skills for my symptoms. Some of the skills I’ve developed myself and some I’ve learned in therapy. Here are some of the coping skills I’ve learned for the symptoms of my schizoaffective disorder. (Note: This post contains a trigger warning.)
When you are constantly anxious, it is hard to confront traumatic experiences and process your feelings from trauma. What can end up happening as a result is that you may avoid dealing with the situation. However, processing your feelings from trauma is critical.
Do you feel frustrated when people can't pronounce your name correctly? I can relate because my name is unique, and most people mispronounce it. Worse, instead of learning the correct pronunciation, they conveniently shorten or change it without my consent. If people can't pronounce your name correctly, read on to know how you can cope with the consequent distress.
Times get tough, and I'm not immune to wanting to shut the world out when it feels too loud, too heavy, or simply too much; that's when distraction and escapism come into play. Sometimes, a little mind vacation is needed. Just like physical vacations, it can be helpful to mentally check out momentarily to rest and reset. But as with most things in life, there is a balance, and tipping the scales can have harmful consequences.
I've found that nature provides greater self-esteem. Self-esteem is a delicate yet pivotal aspect of one's wellbeing, particularly for those navigating the challenges of mental health. In my personal journey, I have found that nature is a sanctuary that extends a comforting hand toward healing and heightened self-esteem.
One of the toughest battles I have faced in my journey is the shame and stigma in recovery. For years, I carried the burden of shame, believing that my gambling addiction was a reflection of my moral failure. Society's misconceptions about gambling addiction only fueled these feelings, leaving me trapped in a cycle of self-blame and isolation. Society views gambling addiction as a matter of poor self-control. Most people still believe it is a choice and people can stop whenever they want, which is not the case. What shame and stigma in recovery do is disempower people and even hinder their ability to recognize addiction as a complex issue that requires support and treatment.
My point being, I'm right there with you. I hate the rollercoaster. I just want to live life without being in a state of constant fight or flight mode, only for his character to change and de-escalate and I fall for the person I fell for all over again.
Exhausting is a horrible word. The understatement of all understatements, if you will.
I wish there were better support groups for this kind of mental health condition.