Most survivors of relationship abuse have probably not heard the term "coercive control," but they've almost certainly experienced it. 

I've come face-to-face with many myths that re-traumatize victims of abuse while recovering from an abusive relationship amidst a roller coaster of emotions. For me, it has brought on a lot of guilt and anxiety about how it has impacted my other relationships. It's one thing to write about it so openly, knowing others who have been through the same thing will read it and relate to it. It's another thing to talk about it with people I'm close to who haven't experienced it, unsure of how they will react. I've often found myself at a loss for how to explain or even share what I've been through in those situations. Sometimes, the way people respond to me show how societal myths re-traumatize victims of abuse.

Victim blaming typically happens from the outside looking in, but there was a large amount of blaming myself for the verbal abuse aimed at me during my abusive relationship. There were many times when there was a voice inside of me wondering if it was my fault that my boyfriend verbally abused me. This, despite the fact that I knew it shouldn't be happening.

Applying the five stages of grief to the loss of a relationship, yes, even an abusive relationship, can help you to understand what you're going through and to guide you through the process. Grieving the loss of a relationship is a complex, messy process, and grieving the loss of an abusive relationship may be especially confusing. When thinking about an abusive relationship ending, people may think, "Good riddance;" and while a good riddance may very well be in order, it is not that simple a summation (Three Things We Need to Understand About Grief). If you're grieving the loss of a relationship, here's how and why the stages of grief can help you through the process.

If you're verbally abused at work, you may be surprised to learn that verbal abuse in the workplace is more common than you might think and it's a real problem. Not only is it detrimental to productivity, verbal abuse also undermines confidence and stunts career progression, leaving those affected feeling powerless. If you think you or a colleague are being verbally abused at work, read this for how to spot verbal abuse in your workplace, and what to do when it happens.

At what point do you leave a verbally abusive partner? The point where you walk away from a violent partner could be a bruise, a broken rib, or even fear for your life, but how do you know when it's time to leave your abuser when the abuse is verbal? The signs of psychological or emotional abuse are often easy to dismiss, meaning we ignore the glaring red flags that tell us to get out. Nevertheless, there comes a point when the abuse gets to be too much and we just can't take it anymore. Perhaps we mentally withdraw from our verbally abusive partner, start making arrangements for a life elsewhere, or leave altogether. Your breaking point when you leave a verbally abusive partner is the moment you're forced to concede the situation is abusive -- but how do you know when enough is enough?

Resolving to learn self-help for verbal abuse in the new year can help you end next year in a better place. A New Year’s resolution is a personal promise we make with the intent to better ourselves, and New Year’s resolutions for those battling verbal abuse are just as important as any other resolutions we consider and commit to each year. If you’ve reflected on your year and thought you could really benefit from some positive change, implement solid New Year’s resolutions to improve the quality of your life: Promise to learn some self-help for the verbal abuse in your relationships.

Christmas is celebrated as a time of peace and joy, but for anyone coping with verbal abuse, the holiday season can be quite the opposite. Perhaps you're forced to spend time with a manipulative or criticizing family member you wouldn't normally see, or maybe the emotional vampire lives under your roof. Either way, verbal and psychological attacks can become more frequent and intense over the holidays, causing anyone in the firing line to become drained and withdrawn. Here's why abusers act worse at the holidays, and how to cope with verbal abuse when it begins.

A list of reasons to leave a verbally abusive relationship could be a very long list and yet any one reason would be reason enough. Information on why people stay in abusive relationships is pretty easy to track down, but finding reasons you should leave is not nearly as common. In fact, when doing some preemptive brainstorming for this article, I entered “reasons to leave an abusive relationship” into Google and the majority of results were articles on why people stay. Understanding why we do the things we do is important. Becoming informed about anything that touches our lives so personally is one of the best things we can do for ourselves. However, to learn, grow, and evolve, we must look toward our next step, we must be willing to explore our own possibilities, only then will we begin to move on.

Learning verbal abuse coping skills is more important than you might think. Common misconceptions about verbally abusive relationships are that verbal abuse is solely characteristic of romantic relationships and that you can simply leave. Verbal abuse can be present in relationships involving parent and child, siblings, friends, romantic relationships, co-workers, school-yard bullies -- the list continues. Considering people cannot immediately leave their family, quit their job, or change schools, it can be life-changing to develop verbal abuse coping strategies such as learning the facts about verbal abuse, response techniques, and ways to love yourself amidst the verbal abuse. People often advise others to “just leave” and while this advice likely comes from a place of love, it may not be realistic. With that being said, verbal abuse does not have to plague your life. If you can escape, do so promptly. Your future self will thank you. These verbal abuse coping skills and tips are for relationships that you cannot readily exit and should be helpful until you’re able to remove yourself from the situation entirely.