I’m Katlyn, (sometimes Kat) Brinkley, and I’m excited to write for "Verbal Abuse in Relationships" at HealthyPlace. I want to share some of my thoughts and hopefully influence those of readers. I think verbal abuse can take many forms, and it’s important to recognize what unhealthy can look like in relationship dialogues. It’s my experience that while no relationship is perfect, repeated issues that involve one partner hurting the other without improvement, can result in significant, long-term emotional strain.
Verbal Abuse in Relationships
Can the verbal abuse victim become the abuser? And, if so, who does the abuse victim abuse? The answer will surprise you, so read on.
Over the past few years since my abusive relationship ended, I have been unraveling the layers of what happened through therapy, writing, research and a lot of soul-searching.
What is your inner GPS? Some call it intuition. Others call it a "gut feeling." No matter the label, we all have an internal GPS that guides us. But what happens when your inner GPS is recalibrated to someone else's objectives? This recalibration is the result of a verbally abusive relationship. The abuser will work their magic to undo our self-trust and put that trust into their hands. When this happens, we feel as though there is no place to turn, and the minute we get lost, the recalibration begins.
One of the worst things about being verbally abused by parents is that the damage can be lifelong, yet it can take a lifetime for someone to recognize the pattern of abuse they experienced.
My name is Jennifer Carnevale, but you can call me Jenn with two Ns and I’m the new author of Verbal Abuse in Relationships. I’m a high school English teacher, writer, traveler, tattoo enthusiast, and podcaster. Most importantly, I’m a recovering addict--10 years clean. My drug addiction began at 17 years old after a routine tonsillectomy when I was given a large bottle of a liquid opioid. The medication sent me into a downward spiral through anxiety, abuse, assault, and more. But after a decade of self-work, I am presented with this opportunity to share my stories on HealthyPlace. I get to help others leave the dangerous situations I was in and steer people away from the tell-tale signs and symptoms of verbal abuse. Gratitude is flowing from my heart.
Is your boss covertly abusive? How can you tell if your boss is verbally and emotionally abusive? Learn the answers to those questions in this article about covert abuse by a boss.
Setting healthy boundaries now that my abusive relationship has ended is one of the most difficult things I’ve had to figure out recently.
What many people often fail to understand about leaving an abusive relationship is that it isn't the end of the pain. It’s only the beginning of a new kind of pain, as recovery begins and we start to fully recognize everything we've lost. We also begin to understand what we've gained. Gaining something, however, can be painful too at first because it means something has changed and that we can never go back to the way things once were.
I recently saw a quote in which someone was lamenting the fact that there were more articles describing narcissism and narcissistic abuse than how to heal after abuse. I thought it was a strange distinction to make. When survivors of narcissistic abuse read articles about narcissism and narcissistic abuse, that is a form of healing after abuse.