When people think of depression, they think about a character like Eeyore in Winnie the Pooh -- someone who's a bit gloomy and sad, perhaps, prone to moping about. Some even think depression is a bit hip and edgy -- an affliction of creative types like artists and writers. But the truth is, I'm afraid, a lot less romantic.

My depression goes hand-in-hand with anxiety, which leaves me feeling paralyzed with fear. For years I hid from life, until I started using my feelings of anxiety and the hopelessness of depression to convince me that I had nothing else to lose. I learned to make my own luck to defeat depression-related anxiety.

I find the harsh winter weather we’ve been having tends to exacerbate my depression symptoms. The shorter days and winter weather leave me feeling depleted. Looking out my window, there is a sea of white. Everywhere I go there are piles of snow and ice. I am tired of bundling up in a long coat and snow boots just to go outside. I am tired of the cold. I want to hibernate until spring. But hibernation isn’t the answer to surviving winter and depression.

One of the most common symptoms of depression is a change in appetite. People who have depression either lose their appetite and eat less than they did before, or else their appetite increases and they eat more than they did before their depression started (Depression Symptoms: What Are Symptoms of Depression?). For me, my appetite has lessened but it's affected me a lot more than a simple reduction of hunger pangs. Depression and lack of appetite can be distressing.

When I sat down to write my blog this week, what came to mind is that I’ve been having trouble mood-wise lately – depressed mood, low energy, anxiety – and how this seems to go against what we commonly associate with the beginning of a new year. But I have to live life, even when I'm depressed.

One of depression's main symptoms is feeling alone, like no one in the world could possibly understand your situation, your pain, or your experience. You feel cut off from other people, like there's a glass wall between you and the rest of the world. The feeling of being alone can can make you want to isolate yourself from friends, family, and other people who care about us. Isolation feeds depression.

Lately I've been caught in a trap of worrying about everything I need to do, instead of simply doing the things I need to do. This causes a big increase in my depression symptoms. I look around my apartment and the whole place is a giant mess. Dirty dishes lie everywhere, pretty much every piece of clothing I own needs to be washed, and instead of dust bunnies lying on my floor I have what my mom calls "dust wolves." Instead of just gathering up my dirty dishes,  I lie down on my couch. I start thinking in negative spirals, about how I mess up everything in my life. I think about all the times I've failed at things, and my self-doubt starts building. I can't even keep a one bedroom apartment clean! How am I ever going to have a house one day?

National Suicide Prevention Week stirs up a lot of emotion in me. I rarely involve myself in suicide awareness activities, most of which occur annually this week in early September. Depression is something I am eager to talk about with anyone but I'm not ready to share my suicide stories or hear others' suicide stories in a public venue yet.

My depression is really making me struggle with the daily task of living right now. I can't keep going the way I have in the past few years. I hate my life; I'm completely broke and in debt and I feel like all of my relationships are crumbling. Sometimes I sit back and look at my life and think, "Is this really it for me? Is depression going to define and imprison me for the rest of my life?" I know it's pretty common for someone in the late twenties to question where their life is going, but I feel like I have extra questions than the average person who say, isn't diagnosed with depression.

Recently I found myself feeling depressed. As is usually the case, there were different triggers involved. Some were hormonal as I was pre-menstrual. Others were personal as my parents are in the process of splitting up and it’s been an emotional time for all involved. Like so many, I was also surprised and hit hard by the suicide of Robin Williams. Add in my wonky brain chemistry, and I was off to the depression races.