We often struggle with how to help a depressed friend. We don't want to minimize his mental illness. We know that she can't just snap out of it by going outside or smiling more. When you know how to help a depressed friend, you realize that helping him through the tough episodes takes time. Silence. Hand-holding. Maybe even folding some laundry. And how you help your depressed friend can be the difference between life and death.

Sometimes people hurt themselves. Self mutilation. Cutting. Scarification. Pulling out eyelashes or hair. Hitting. Biting. Pinching. Starvation. Drug and alcohol abuse. Fighting. Overeating. So many ways people inflict pain on their bodies. But why? Does it mean they are suicidal? Not always, but depression is common in people who self-injure. Does it mean they like it? Not necessarily. But it can serve a purpose. And if they don’t figure out what benefit they are receiving from the pain, they may escalate and cause permanent damage.

There are lots of myths about depression that are not true. The untrue depression stories bring shame to people living with this serious mental health condition, and it prevents those who may need it most from getting the depression treatment they need. Here are just a few myths that are not true about depression.

Often, depression can be triggered by negative thoughts, self-talk, self criticism, and the cognitive distortion called mind-reading. Interacting with someone and assuming you know what they are thinking, assuming they are thinking about you and assuming they are judging you negatively is a dangerous trap for depression and one that will surely make you feel worse. But even if that person is judging you, do you care about their opinion? Whom do you admire? Respect? Whose opinion matters to you?

You walk into the counselor’s office to talk about your depression. Your symptoms include fatigue, poor concentration, decreased libido, moodiness, sleep disturbance, appetite change, nervousness, disorganization, relationship conflict, irritability, poor work performance, withdrawal from others. Yep, your counselor agrees, you have symptoms of depression. The next step should be to figure out WHY you have these symptoms of depression.

Something triggers a bad day. A poor night’s sleep. Receiving bad news. Stress at work. Relationship worries. It could be anything. We would hope that if we are going to be upset, it would stick to that one trigger and we can figure it out and get over it. But it doesn’t work that way, does it? Depression is a sneaky little monster that whispers negative, depressing thoughts in your ear, feeding and fueling itself, and pretty soon you are not just thinking about what triggered you, you are spiraling, going round and round in your head about every other thing that has ever gone wrong in your life. Depression Monster wins again.

It has been nearly three weeks since my last of six ECT treatments. And I feel great! ECT (Electroconvulsive Therapy) may be the most controversial treatment that exists for mental illness. In my case, it was severe depression that did not respond to antidepressants and talk therapy.

"I don’t need help! I don’t need antidepressant medications. I don’t need counseling. I just need more will power.” It is a myth that people can relieve their depression by just trying harder to “get over it”. Yes, negative thinking can make it worse and positive thinking can help. And yes, it is “normal” to get depressed sometimes. So what is the difference between a normal reaction to something and having depression that needs intervention?

Hi, my name is Amie Merz and I'm glad to be teaming up with Jack Smith on this blog and sharing my thoughts, knowledge and experience on coping with depression. I am a counselor in private practice (my credentials: MA, LPC, NCC, CASAC, ICAADC, SAP) in a rural area south of St. Louis, MO. in the United States. I have worked in the mental health field since 1991, with all age groups, income levels, issues and dynamics. I have learned that mental illness does not discriminate; so many people have been affected by it. My hope is that the negative stigma of getting help can continue to fade away so we can help more people feel better.

That which doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger. We’ve all heard the cliché. That may ring true for some, but not for me. My depression has been raging these past few weeks, putting me through a hellacious test. Only it hasn’t made me stronger. It’s made me weaker. It’s made me tired. And it’s frustrated me to no end.