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Coping with Depression

Talk about depression? Why? It’s no secret that the stigma of depression (and other mental illnesses) can be debilitating. Hiding the reason we are sick takes as much out of us as the sickness itself. Imagine a world where we could freely tell our loved ones, friends, co-workers and bosses the truth. Imagine a world where we could talk about depression.
When you have chronic depression, a depressive episode can rear its ugly head unexpectedly. You’re just going through your days, living your life, managing your depression as best you can and then . . . you feel the decline. This happened to me this week, surprising me because I had just survived a brief dip in my mood in early May. I wasn’t expecting this depressive episode so soon after the last.
If the signs and symptoms of depression were detected early in a young person’s life, would it make a difference? (Symptoms of depression in teens and children) Teenage Depression or Normal Teenage Behavior? I was a moody teen… is there any other kind of teen? The sudden outbursts, melancholy and disinterest in teenagers is often attributed to or described as bad-tempered, sulky, hormonal, bitchy, dramatic. The list is endless. Regardless of gender, each teenager must survive his/her own brand of pubescent purgatory.
Depression often leads to thoughts of suicide, or in the most dire of cases, taking one’s own life. Around this time last year, in April of 2012, just as I was coming out of my last major depressive episode, I actually considered suicide. I didn’t just think about it, as in, “I wonder what would happen if I drive my car off this cliff,” but I actually contemplated a viable method and a plan to make it happen. Now, some people would think that the car/cliff thought was, in and of itself, a cry of desperation. For me, going that next step beyond pondering to planning, was the very lowest of all my very low moments.
When life's highs are followed by inexplicable lows, the clinically depressed person has the hardest of times. As I mentioned in my About Me blog post, my battle with depression is ongoing. I lay in the trenches, at the ready for when my brain decides to ambush me with yet another volley of chemical scud missiles.
Depression Won’t Define Me Back some thirty-five years ago when I was a child, the word depression wasn’t readily used as a diagnosis, rather, it was used to describe a point-in-time state of being. "I’m depressed because I have no friends." While this use of the word is obviously still valid, depression, in all its varied forms, has come to mean so much more. Back in those days, we’d call it a bout-of-the-blues or feeling down-and-out to which our mothers would emphatically state, "snap out of it… stop feeling sorry for yourself!" My Mom didn’t realize (though, who could blame her) that this prolonged, repetitive, inescapable, inexplicable "mood" that plagued me was actually an illness.
Lying in bed, covers pulled up. Look at the clock and know you are late. You need to go. You need to move. You need to get up. You know this. And yet your body feels heavy, stuck. You yell at yourself in your head. Get up! But you don't. Get moving! But you don't. It's as if Depression has paralyzed you. You know what you need to do. You know what the consequences will be if you don't. And yet you still feel like you can't move.
As a counselor, people often ask me if I am busy at Christmas and if a lot of people are depressed at the holidays. While I do see quite a few people have difficulty with December, I see so many more people struggle with Valentine’s Day. For them, the 14th of February is a reminder of what they don’t have. Single people talk about feeling more alone. Grieving people miss their significant others. And those in unhappy relationships feel the intimacy void more than ever. We had a conversation about this at the office today, and we decided, who SAYS it’s just for couples? We decided to redefine it in a way that works for us and thought we’d spread the love.
Lunar Does Not Mean Lunatic For years I’ve heard that wild things happen when the moon is full. More violence. More chaos. More mood swings. “They” say it is because our bodies are made of so much water that the moon acting on our bodies like it does the ocean tides causes people to act wonky. What do you think?
Today marks one year since our school lost a junior to suicide. That same month we lost another to suicide, and so did the school closest to ours. Tonight on the news I heard another local high school has had three suicides this past week. Someone asked me, what makes people feel that this is the answer? There can be many reasons but most common is the feeling of overwhelm, of dread, of powerlessness. As if there is no other option than escape. Similarly some citizens here in the states have suggested seceding from the union because they they are unhappy with our recent election. In some ways this could also be a flight response. (Not trying to start a political discussion, just noting people's fear.) As parents, one of the best things we could teach our children is resilience. To not fear adversity, but to buckle down in hard times and find ways to make it better.