Blogs
I've often been asked how I can be so high-functioning as a bipolar. I would say that my number one most useful bipolar management tool is empowerment. I'm talking about self-empowerment in which you believe in yourself. Empowerment, a bipolar management tool, causes you to think positively about bipolar disorder. It doesn't negate all the bad, but it makes you see the good. It's important to see the good. Life can't go on without it.
Treat your anxiety by drinking more water and less caffeine. Caffeine provokes anxiety and can trigger panic attacks. The research shows a clear correlation between caffeine and anxiety (Nutrition Therapy for Anxiety Disorders).
One aspect common to many adults with ADHD is low self-esteem. When you live your life making stupid mistakes, falling short of—or forgetting entirely—your goals, or being yelled at by figures of authority, you'll likely be a mess when you reach adulthood. If you haven't learned to laugh off the gaffes, you might either adopt an insouciant attitude over time, or internalize the criticisms. I was of the internalizing variety (Signs of Self-Stigma: Do You Stigmatize Yourself?).
Imagine you are on a beautiful island, surrounded by palm trees, sand, and the soothing sounds of the ocean. How could anyone be anxious in a place like that? Yet, several years ago, when Mr. T and I went on vacation to the beautiful islands of Maui and Kauai, each day began with horrible panic attacks. I was sick the entire trip. Ever since then, I get really bad travel anxiety when traveling far from home.
Do you ever get so angry that you want to spit? I'm talking about the kind of anger that crawls up inside of you and squats, like it's never going to leave. The kind of anger that makes you slam doors and snarl tersely at your family when they ask you questions, has hit me today and I need to make it leave. I want it gone, but the internal struggle against my bipolar triggers is a battle to the finish. My chest is tightly constricted and I find myself wanting to be in a dark room.
If there is one aspect of Adult ADHD that is agreed upon by all experts, including the ones that don't believe ADHD exists, it is the lack of control over impulses. Inappropriate jokes, interjecting, spending, gambling, casual sex, news addiction, channel flipping, spilling beans…our individuality determines which particular way we embarrass ourselves.
I make it a practice to open the blinds in my house every morning. My therapist suggested it once. I appreciate the practice, even if I don't feel like it on some days, because I ache for the sun. Will today be the day it is sunny? Will today be a good day where I get everything accomplished on my personal agenda or will I wallow in self-doubt and bipolar clouds?
When I feel guilty, scared, upset, or embarrassed about my morning anxiety, and when I give into the fear thinking that its too much to bear, my anxiety gets even worse and I am usually really sick all day long. Here are five useful tips to knock morning anxiety out of your morning routine.
I attended a dinner party last Saturday. I haven't attended such an event in years.
I'm not sure what happened, but I had a great time and didn't offend anybody. I must have been off my game. That's alright, though, because I made up for it by Monday.
I am not a morning person. If you are reading this, chances are, you aren't one either. Sometimes, I have been woken up in the early hours to instant panic. There isn't a reason for the fear but as soon as my eyelids open I am absolutely terrified. Its a horrible feeling. When my day begins this way one of two things are bound to happen.
Either I accept the anxiety and try to ignore it, or I feel sorry for myself, pout, and sometimes cry, and it consumes and ruins my entire day.
Thank you for understanding that the man I love is not selfish. Even though I know that, when close friends tell you that you are blinded by love, you can sometimes wonder if you are wrong. But then talking it out on here I know I am not wrong about him.... he is a beautiful soul :)
Good luck in your journey! I pray you are able to stay in the light!