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Addiction has been featured in the movies since the 1936 film "Reefer Madness." Many of these films serve as entertainment however there are those that can educate viewers as well. The key is that they can open a dialogue that can serve to break the stigma that surrounds addiction.
We have heard this before: Mental Illness is an invisible disability. But I beg to differ. When my world crashes and burns, when the winter steals away my stability and I am hiding within the walls of my home and cannot figure out how to eat or sleep, I'm pretty sure my mental illness is not invisible. In fact, I feel like I am wearing a large sign: "I have bipolar disorder and am currently depressed. PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE." Mental illness disabilities aren't always invisible.
Violet is ready to leave her abusive husband - almost. She struggles with what-ifs, but I sense she has one foot out the door already. She asked in her comment,
"I think about him meeting someone else; what if he is good to her? Does that make her better than me? I know someone else addressed this, but it is a real fear of mine. Am I making him act this way?"
One of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard is of doctors not giving their patients their diagnoses. That’s right – the patient sees the doctor, the doctor does a full assessment, the doctor reaches a conclusion, but keeps it a big secret like an upcoming birthday party.
This is an example of parental doctoring and completely insults the patient.
Learn how to choose to live a happier lifestyle that increases your confidence and healthy with 6 simple steps that you can practice now.
I entered the damp basements of Alcoholics Anonymous many years ago, and found a new, immeasurably superior, way of life. I won’t belabor this point, and I certainly won’t try to sell it to you. But I will say it worked for me and continues to do so.
Everything about it surprised me, which was annoying, because I don’t like surprises; I’m the kind of person who likes to believe he has it all worked out, (especially when he doesn’t), which I suppose is part of the reason I ended up there in the first place.
One of the biggest surprises of all was the amount of humor. Indeed, the process of having your perspective adjusted almost always improves your sense of humor.
Flexibility is a main ingredient in countering anxiety
Anxiety usually wants us to think that we need something a certain way "or else." (Not that it tells us what the unsavory consequences are: Anxiety is always vague, never clear. This is how it holds it's power.)
So when things don't happen that certain way, darn it, that good-for-nothing Anxiety has us all up in arms. Tied in a knot. Fumbling and immobilized. Discombobulated.
If you have PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder), you’re no stranger to excessive feeling, acting and behaving.
Think of it this way: Living with PTSD, you are like a pitcher filled to the brim with water. As long as no one and no thing pours more water on the pitcher, it can stay at capacity and not overflow. You can hold yourself together, cope and manage if, not easily, at least often somewhat effectively.
When more water is added to the pitcher, however, what happens? That’s right! The liquid overflows and there’s just nothing you can do about it.
Today is my birthday, and it's left me in a somewhat reflective mood. For someone as young as I am, I've accomplished a lot. I've published a book about military desertion for reasons of conscience. I've won three awards for my writing. It's not bad for someone who hasn't yet hit 35.
But I have borderline personality disorder (BPD), and a Demanding Parent mode that says "not good enough".
For me, active addiction was a time fraught with risk. I repeatedly subjected myself to any number of dangerous situations. Whether it was driving under the influence, taking unknown substances, or mixing illicit drugs with pharmaceuticals, I was taking chances every time I could.
Thank you for your comment. I'm sorry you're in that situation. I know how hard it is for parents to watch a child with mental illness struggle. Know this: you are not alone. Many parents are in this untenable situation.
Your options are very limited for the reasons you have listed. Your son is an adult and get to make his own decisions -- even when those decisions are heavily influenced by an illness. And while some might disagree, the US tends to fall on the side of personal rights, regardless of illness.
If your son is a risk to himself or others, you can see about getting him treated without his consent. (In some States, this is also possible when a person is at a grave threat of decompensation [getting sicker].) I know this is a hard thing to do, but sometimes the only thing that will help someone is the treatment they refuse.
I recommend you check out the Treatment Advocacy Center. They have a hotline and a lot of information online about serious mental illness and treatment of those illnesses: https://www.treatmentadvocacycenter.org/
I also wrote this piece about the situation when help is refused (not associated with HealthyPlace) and it lists some additional resources: https://natashatracy.com/bipolar-blog/person-mental-illness-accept-illness/?swcfpc=1
Finally, I recommend you reach out to other parents in the same situation. You may be able to find these people through groups like NAMI (just Google them). Knowing others facing the same issues can help.
I hope your son is able to get help.
-- Natasha Tracy