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When we commit to a relationship, it comes with an expectation of emotional equivalency. If one person is pressured more than the other (a lot more than just mental health issues there) conflict can arise. Anxiety doesn't typically make for emotional consistency but freedom of expression within relationships can help.
November was National Family Caregivers Month. An estimated 65 million Americans care for a family member. Of course, that is not just for families dealing with mental illness; that statistic accounts for those caring for loved ones with other physical and mental conditions, but also does not account for the number of families who are dealing emotionally with mental illness in a member even if direct care-giving is not a part of the picture right now.
I had the honor of being interviewed on several media outlets last week, and National Family Caregivers month drew to a close. The "month" may be over, but the job goes on. Here is one interview here, from "Reality Check" on Daytime TriCities.
The first step in recovering from any eating disorder is accepting that you do have an illness that deserves and needs treatment.
The next step is finding the appropriate people to guide you in recovering from your eating disorder. That can be very difficult. However, there are different types of help out there and I would encourage you to never give up trying to find what works for you.
Anxiety can motivate us to move faster, but left unchecked it can paralyze us.
If you are an adult newly diagnosed with ADHD, it’s assumed you have been struggling with some level of distractibility, impulsivity and even hyperactivity. These key ADHD symptoms are what help specify and diagnosis the disorder. Less acknowledged, discussed or even know about, are the common inner feelings of anger, grief, shame, isolation and even hope that adults with ADHD experience.
In business school, I slept with my best friend Bob and then proceeded to fall in love with him. As these things go, he didn't return my feelings, we fought a few times then left town without speaking to each other. A few years ago we reconnected - figuratively and literally - with similarly disastrous results. Now, Bob and I are speaking again and I'm committed to making the friendship work. No, I'm not a glutton for punishment. Rather, I believe that making amends will help me be healthier and better manage my bipolar disorder.
I have said to people many times - your psychiatrist works for you. You pay the psychiatrist. They are your employee. That means you're the one who decides if they are hired or fired. But choosing a psychiatrist is no mean feat as someone who others consider "good" may not be "good" for you. So the only thing to do is to research and interview a doctor - just as you would any employee.
Schizophrenia is considered to be a disease of the mind, yet unlike a physical disease it can be difficult to determine when we are ill. How then do we know when the disease is taking hold and what to do about it?
For me there are warning signs before the onset of an episode. One common sign is holding the belief that someone close to me wishes to harm me in some manner. This idea can cause arguments, disagreement and irritability between myself and those around me. It is at this point of time that I believe constructive intervention can help the most.
The holidays are a time of joy, celebration, family, friendships and spending time together, however throughout the month of December I always am asked for tips, or recommendations to help manage stress and stay present, mindful, healthy and sober. The holidays can be a huge stressor for many; there are parties, gifts to buy, family events, and sometimes it can all be too much.
You're on a first date - attractive person, nice restaurant, good conversation, and after dessert, you excuse yourself to use the restroom. When you return to the table, your date is visibly upset. He stands up, waving wildly for the ticket, grabs your hand and storms both of you out the door.
You're wondering what horrible thing happened during your absence, so you willingly follow. Once in the parking lot, your date puts his hand around your throat, pushes you against the car, and whispers into your ear, "I was talking to you. No one gets up and leaves while I'm talking!"
What do you do? Call for help as soon as you're free? Run for the hills? Fight for your life? Probably. No one stays with a person who acts like that! Unless . . .
Well, eventually, the depression demons took hold and he told me on August 5th 2023 that he decided he wanted to just move to MT and isolate himself from everyone. He had been offered a free place to stay if he did some maintenance. He is very handy and that type of situation was very ideal because it was flexible; he only worked on things on the days he was physically up to it.
We talked every night like "normal" up until he left on April 14th 2023. We had a long distance relationship then and so I didnt get to see him in person often and didnt see him that last week. He told me one last time that he loved me and he was sorry to hurt me and I have not heard from him since. He didnt even tell his parents or sister he was leaving.
I still love him as much as I ever have even though it has been over a year since we last spoke. I just had dinner with a close friend who was always very critical of him because often he would have to cancel plans last minute due to the Crohn's or because he would go dark for weeks at a time. She told me tonight that he is a selfish person and that if he truly loved me he would have gotten help for the depression. Oddly, she has been depressed before and suicidal which you would think would make her more understanding. I asked her if when she contiplated suicide was she selfish? She said yes. I said but are you a selfish person and she said no. I said that was the same for him. Sure him leaving me and his family was "selfish" but at his core, is he selfish? Absolutely not. She thinks because she was able to conquer her depression that if he really loved me, he would have fought his depression. It makes me sad to think she cant see the amazing guy that is buried under the depression. I know, without a doubt, if he did get a handle on the depression, that he would NOT be selfish at all. It is hard to understand why others cant see the true person under the depression.
I hope those that are struggling know that not everyone will abandon you in your time of suffering. There are people out there that see the real you and would do anything to help.
I encourage all those suffering from depression to not only tell your loved ones what you are going through, but also to seek professional help. And for those of you who love a person suffering from depression, have compassion and understanding for their struggle. Know they do not intentionally hurt you and deep down they still love you even if they cant show it.
Thanks for reading.
p.s. I also struggle with depression and anxiety but I did get help and between medication and coping techniques, I am able to be myself again.
From the story you told, it sounds like you know when your partner's alters switch.
I'm sorry this was written in the first/second person. But maybe apply this to your situation with a grain of salt.