10 Secrets of Highly Confident People

There are only two words that will always lead you to success. Those words are yes and no. Undoubtedly, you’ve mastered saying yes. So start practicing saying no. Your goals depend on it!
-Jack Canfield

Do you ever wonder why some people are more confident than others? What secrets they have? Surely, they weren't born this way; confidence is learned. There are particular qualities that make them more confident and the good news is you can learn to integrate them into your life too.

What Do Highly Confident People Do Differently?

1. They don’t make excuses. Highly confident people take ownership of their mistakes. They don’t blame the outside world for the way they acted. If they are running late, they don’t blame the line at Starbucks or traffic, they take ownership.
2. They ask instead of assume. If someone didn't do their part of a project, they don’t take it on or think “gosh this guy is so lazy.” Instead they take action. They talk to the person so that it does get done. “How can I help you?” “Is there something we can do as a group to assist you?” Instead of making judgements that or assuming the worst. They problem solve and get things done.
3. They take care of their mind and body. They don’t have to be in the best shape, but they are aware that if they don’t get enough rest or vital nutrients they wont be on their "game." Healthy choices are often priorities as they help them stay focused and keep them from feeling ill.
4. They recognize “mistakes“ as learning opportunities. They don’t beat themselves up for their mistakes, realizing that every mistake is an opportunity to learn how to improve and become more successful next time. They don’t get stuck; they get creative.
5. They are real. Some of the best mentors I've had admit their shortcomings or provide examples of how they have made mistakes. “This week I got really irritated with someone, I was frustrated for a while, even expressed it but then here is how I handled it . . .” They don’t act like they are perfect because they know everyone has flaws.
6. They don’t compare. The girl sitting next to you with a brand new expensive bag, the highly confident person may say, that’s nice she can afford that. The insecure may judge to themselves “how did she afford that? I bet she doesn’t even have to work as hard as me. It's so unfair.” They notice when they are on the path to judgement and instead try to make observations. Judgements only lower their self-esteem.
7. They embrace change. Change is tricky for everyone. After getting over the initial shock they look at change as an opportunity, not as a fear. They know they cant predict the future, so they attempt to avoid focusing on the worry and practice staying in the “now."
8. They celebrate others' successes. Highly confident people know that they are not competing with others; we are all in it together. Sure there are people that are competitive and egocentric, but those people aren't confident, they are aggressive.
9. They can be alone. Confident people don’t need to be on their phone 24/7, in fact, they embrace alone time as an opportunity to reflect and create, not worry and obsess. There is no need to fill every minute with others, Facebook feeds, or even too much TV.
10. They put "Me" before “We.” Even in a peer pressured situation, if it doesn't help them, they will refuse. They know the difference between being a people pleaser and a helpful friend or partner. They put the oxygen mask on first so that they can take care of themselves, and then have the power to take care of others.

We all have been conditioned to think or act in particular ways. These secrets can be integrated into your life one at a time. Start by becoming aware of the secrets you are having trouble with and try to work on adjusting your point one at a time.

Emily is the author of Express Yourself: A Teen Girls Guide to Speaking Up and Being Who You Are.You can visit Emily’s Guidance Girl website. You can also find her on Facebook, Google+ and Twitter.