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"Trust the process" has been my eating disorder (ED) recovery mantra for almost 15 years. The clinicians who ran my residential treatment program used to chant this phrase ad nauseam. Back then, it was a constant source of irritation. But now, I find myself returning to those three words more often than I ever bargained for. In fact, this recovery mantra feels just as relevant in my current season of life as it was at the starting line of ED recovery.
I consider antipsychotic medication the most critical piece of my treatment. However, no matter how well the drugs work, I'm still human and have other things going on. On my best days, when I have very few symptoms of schizophrenia, I am still in relationships with others. I still have memories. I have habits. I have patterns of communicating, traumatic events that I've experienced, and a connection to myself. For example, I'm living with the grief of my dad moving into a nursing home and the aftermath of a global pandemic. For me, antipsychotics and therapy work together.
In my final post for the "Coping with Depression" blog, I’d like to wish you all a sincere farewell and offer a few lessons I’ve learned over the last six months.
I've got this oddly specific fear of abandonment at night. It's bizarre, but when my partner dozes off before me, I feel like a lost child, abandoned at the mall. I'm aware it's not rational; my partner is right there, snug beside me, and I'm a grown adult who's tackled the mall solo countless times. But that lingering fear of desertion from my past creeps in as if it were determined to sabotage the present.
Social media addiction is real. The definition of addiction is a complex psycho-physiological process manifested in any behavior in which a person finds pleasure and relief and therefore craves but suffers consequences without being able to give it up. Typically, addiction is associated with drugs, gambling, or shopping. But recently, after years of scrolling Instagram before getting out of bed, I couldn't help but wonder how many other people do the same thing. How many of us meet the criteria for social media addiction?
Pessimism is a trait usually associated with negativity and a cynical outlook. But did you know there is another type of pessimism that can play a role in planning for success? Defensive pessimism, as it's called, is a strategy that offers an alternative approach to navigating all the unexpected circumstances life may present.
Talking about trauma is not an easy feat. But if you're constantly reliving a specific traumatic event or cycling through negative thoughts surrounding the trauma, confiding in a trusted loved one can help you feel less alone. A supportive community is integral to trauma recovery, and you don't have to go through it all alone. You can tell about your trauma.
You may hear the term "tough love" thrown around in conversation. While tough love isn't always verbal abuse, it can sometimes cross the line. Knowing the difference between tough love and verbal abuse can help you refrain from using verbal abuse or being the recipient in a verbally abusive situation.
I have an extreme case of schizoaffective anxiety, and I’m preparing for major surgery. I’m getting knee replacements in both knees--one at a time. This anxiety spike about surgery is multi-faceted.
Mindfulness can be a helpful tool for coping with anxiety. Mindfulness is something I have become more familiar with and increasingly utilized over the years as I have practiced it as a strategy for managing my anxiety.

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Linda singer
I have shared similar frustrations—glad to finally have a name for what makes my life more difficult. I have no sensory memory, but profound emotional ones— not always helpful, either!
Kayla Holtom
I am 16 with a twin brother,Kevin.We both recieved our Sacrement of Confirmation back in early September in the class of 23. Kevin and the other boys had to wear white suits and me and the other girls had to wear white,short sleeve floor length dresses with a veil,white gloves.lace anklets and white maryjane shoes.Two weeks before the ceremony,dad told mom that he wanted me diapered under my dress and mom went along with it! She got a package of 26x27 inch cloth diapers and sewed them together in my waist size to make one diaper out of them.She ordered a pair of white adult size rubberpants[plasticpants] and got a card of diaper pins at Walmart.That sunday morning,after my bath,mom had me sit down on my bed and lay back.She slid the folded diaper under me,applied the babypowder,then brought the diaper up and pinned the corners.Then she put my feet into the waist and leg openings of the rubberpants and pulled them up my legs and over the diaper.Since they were adult size,they fit me blousy over the diaper.My top was put on next,then my dress,veil,lace anklets and the shoes.I was brought out and shown to dad and Kevin.Mom lifted up my dress and showed them the diaper and rubberpants and i turned red!I felt weird walking down the aisle with my classmates and having the diaper and rubberpants on under my dress!
Hanna
How do we not traumatize our children like we were traumatized? How do we stop the cycle of abuse? This is nearly impossible if you have never been parented properly. My parents were hopeless, an autistic and traumatized father who was lashing out at my family every day and created true hell in the house and constantly depressed, fearful and dark mother who looked the other way. How do you fix yourself without any help when this happened to you and now boiler breaks down in the middle of winter and you get fired from work, which is what happened to me? I lashed out at my kids last night. They are unruly and messy and just being kids and of course this is not a reason to freak out like I did. Every time this happens it breaks my heart but I am powerless to stop it. We don't have money for trauma therapist. My childhood was hell, I was on drugs from depression since age 12 or so, the last 35 years, I had to find an own dr as a kid because my parents could not care less. I fist tried to commit suicide at age 14 or so and they just said that I needed to get a hobby. My friends mother was an MD and she saw me for free and gave me drugs, the old type of antidepressants, but they did not help. Since then I have had diagnoses of BPD and depression all my life and have been on Zoloft every day. My brain is probably already damaged beyond repair from 35 years of taking Zoloft. Never had a chance to do therapy. I am now 48. We lost all our lifetime savings on a buying a house for our kids that is unsellable now and don't know where to start fixing it without money for therapy.
Natasha Tracy
Hi Dave,

Thank you for your comment. I'm so sorry your friend is going through that.

Unfortunately, I don't know of any information on that topic. The best thing she can do is talk to a psychiatrist about her situation because everyone reacts differently to coming off of medications.

I hope she gets the help she needs.

-- Natasha Tracy
Dave Beaulieu
A friend of mine is in some seriously deep trouble. She went off of her medications for bi-polar and anxiety cold turkey. She fell asleep in her car due to this and was arrested by police, who noticed a baggie of white powder on her lap. Upon being awakened, then frisked by male officers, she went ballistic and started kicking and threatening the cops, who were incidentally armed to the teeth. When forced into the squad car she endeavored to hang herself with the seat belt. The cops actually had to cut the seat belt out of the car to protect her from herself. Her medications were Seroquil, Zoloft, trazadone and a few others. Do you have any information on violence by people going off their medications?