advertisement

Blogs

Once victims realize they're being abused, many of us immediately think, "I've gotta get out of here!" And the pressure's on the victim to DO something about the situation. Right now. We know abuse victims often return to their abuser many times before leaving (if they do leave). We know our family, friends, and society tells us to "Get Out Now!" We know we want to leave. We know we fear the abuser on many levels as much as we fear being without them. We know that leaving is an option . . . but at what cost? Leaving an abuser is not always an immediately viable option, but everyone outside of ourselves (and our abuser) seems to think you must leave NOW.  When you realize your partner abuses you, the only answer supported by others is you packing your bags and walking away into the "good for me" sunrise. And we victims buy into that idea, and that's when a new kind of self-punishment begins.
If you have trouble working as many of us with bipolar disorder do, volunteering is a practical and purposeful way to contribute and expand on your personal assets. There are many ways and places to contribute and do and feel better.
The adult with ADHD can often lose track of time, especially when becoming hyperfocused on something like expressing their opinion online. If a blog or article sets me off, I will let myself write away, but when I am done I check to make sure I haven't written too much. Sometimes I'll edit it down to a manageable size. Many times I'll just delete the whole thing and move on. I have found that there are moments when the comment isn't worth the time it would take to edit it. Not every ADHD turd can be polished into a shiny comment. Sometimes it's just a rambling turd.
Today is the start of the "Jewish New Year", Rosh HaShana. No matter what your community, there always seems to be a period of time set aside to reflect on what has happened in the past year, how you are going to process it, and how you hope/plan to act on what you learned in the future. Next week the journey continues, during Mental Illness Awareness Week. Maybe those of us living with mental illness in our families can inspire awareness and thought in others, as we consider our own situations. Reflection can lead to realization, and to change.  This is not merely a matter of what has happened to you and to those you love;  it is more a reflection on how you eventually choose to deal with it.
One of the most terrifying things about mental illness is that you can no longer trust what you feel. Oh sure, you feel it just as sure as day, but can you trust it enough to act on it? Not really. At least, not if you want to keep your job, friends, marriage and so on. You can no longer simply feel and act. Now you must feel, think and then contemplate acting. It's exhausting and not a particularly reasonable thing to be expected to do.
I touched on the idea that labels are intrinsically different than stigma in Removing The Labels of Mental Illness. I believe that. Mental illness is, at its core, attached to stigma. Although mental health stigma is weaker than it once was, stigma is damaging nonetheless. But first, let's examine the connection between stigmatizing mental illness and labeling it.
On Monday, I told my psychiatrist that I wanted to start dating again. Since  I said it aloud, it must be true or at least close enough to my conscious mind for it to spill out of my mouth. Though I've had a few bad dates, I haven't had a relationship since before my bipolar diagnosis. So brimming with self-awareness off I go back onto the market...but what am I looking for?
One of the most effective management strategies for minimizing the challenges and symptoms of ADHD is medication. This might not be the most popular statement I have ever made, but research over and over again has shown that ADHD medications can “level the playing field” for adults with ADHD. Medications can be effective in helping adults with ADHD increase their focus on less interesting tasks, reduce impulsivity of actions and words and calm inner restlessness. I often hear clients describe the experience of being on the right medication as similar to having “the fog clearing”, “the water globe settling” or a “light switch being turned on”. They feel more focused, energetic, calm and productive. However, many adults never have the chance to experience the full benefits of ADHD medication due to three problem areas that I call “ADHD medication pitfalls”…taking the wrong medication, the wrong dose or taking medications at the wrong time.
I have run into many people who just don't understand eating disorders since I developed anorexia in my early forties. Many people would ask me, "Why don't you just eat?" They did not realize I was terrified to eat. In this video, I talk about some common misconceptions about eating disorders and what we can do to educate people.
Get rid of those old jeans that don't fit you. I know how difficult it can for bipolar individuals to let go of something that is comforting. You could recycle any clothing, like those jeans, you know the ones that you wear but can’t button the waist. Donate them, you will feel good in donating and also feel better in some new, well-fitting clothes, though as a bipolar individual, remember not too overboard on spending.

Follow Us

advertisement

Most Popular

Comments

Hilary
Hi,

So sorry to hear this Christine.

You are welcome to email me. Anytime.
I am sorry you are struggling in such a hard situation. It's not an easy thing to go through when you love someone and they are your adult or young child. as well. I
Its v hard to talk about too.
I hope you and yr daughter are setting some boundaries that suit your situation (safety wise ) soon ...you would or are doing the right thing to set boundaries. together in writing, maybe even legally would be good.

Enforced living arrangements by a real estate agent or court is sometimes best in the end if all else fails, even though its v hard- or a group home while you think on what to do might be good -easier said than done...
All the best to you, yr daughter and yr family
Hilary
I understand and I am so sorry for your and your son's pain. I get it totally but not many do ... if you need to chat do write back to me . Keep going in the meantime by taking one day at a time and looking after you too x
William
thank you for making the effort to write about this with such honesty and insight . You may be ill but you sound more genuine and likeable than most of the superficial actors we meet everyday . I too have a similar ongoing battle involving much suffering despite perhaps appearing to others as "normal ". I am 60 in 2 weeks and poor mental health ..particularly depression and anxiety took away my ability to lead a normal life no matter how hard I tried . I became an alcoholic for perhaps 30 yrs ..trying to self medicate the feelings away . That almost killed me 7 years ago ..the last time I had a drink . I have no means of escape now but for several decades have believed buddhism offers great healing for us folk . Compassion , wisdom , peace and of course ..living life in the present moment , moment by moment ,..... ...all the things I have yearned for all my life . Good luck and much love from Devon in the UK .
Danielle
I just got into it with a stranger who was driving and didn't slow down like he was supposed to even though I was a pedestrian already in the crosswalk. He was turning into the plaza as I was using the crosswalk and we both hesitated but the default rule is to wait for pedestrians. But after all, he continued rolling passed me as I was half way thru the cross walk when he said out his window "pay attention ..blah blah". thats all I heard because before I knew it, I was shouting back at this car "no you pay attention, you're supposed to slow down for pedestrians" he was still driving but he stopped and put his car in reverse and started to "follow" me to argue. I was just going to my own car not too far into the parking lot. He stops and looks at me while I'm arguing back and they starts to insult my appearance. I was just running errands so I was in some flare yoga pants and a hoodie. My hair was poofy because I had just gotten it freshly colored that morning and it had been blow dried. I wasn't wearing makeup, so apparently he thought I looked like I was "on drugs" he asked me several times if I was high and I said what are you talking about and then he started laughing and calling me a tweaker or junkie. I was so insulted. I'm a woman, he was a man and just because I didn't dress for his gaze (the male gaze) while running errands, he concluded I looked so bad that I was on drugs? I'm so embarrassed and annoyed that this happened. All because he didn't want to slow down for a pedestrian in the cross walk? I can't help but feel like this is some kind of karma from the universe because I do admit that sometimes I am not the most patient or nice person out in public, but I never throw personal insults at people. If I am complaining or verbalizing my displeasure, it is directed at the situation itself rather than personal insults at the participating parties. For example, all I rebuttled back to him was that he needed to be the one to pay attention and later I told him he was very rude for saying I looked like a tweaker. He even pulled out his phone like he was going to start recording the altercation but I drove off hopefully not giving him enough time to make a decent video. I could have insulted him back, but he went straight for personal attacks and it hurt my feelings. I should not have to be insulted just for running errands while not being all done up.
Mags
Curious where this has ended up? As i am in this situation right now