Schizophrenia Is Not My Only Identity

I want to make it clear that my identity is not just related to my schizophrenia. For nearly seven years, during my thirties, I lived almost schizophrenia and anxiety symptom-free. It was before I developed an anxiety disorder, and shortly after the period where I became treatment compliant and took my medication every day. I look back at that time as remarkable.

During those seven years, I worked full-time. I traveled internationally and domestically, and I lifted weights as a hobby. I met with friends regularly to play racquetball, take yoga classes, and go hiking. I was always in training programs and classes to learn new skills. I have to be honest and say that I feel a certain amount of grief when I look back at that time and think of all the things I participated in and what I was capable of. 

Schizophrenia Is Only One Part of My Identity

Even though I have far fewer hobbies, can no longer hold a full-time job, and my daily life is much more complicated due to increased symptoms, schizophrenia is still not my only identity. Another way to say what I am getting at is I am more than my diagnosis, no matter how much I have lost over the years.

One thing that brings me the most pleasure is telling people I have been married for 25 years. I know that many people older than me have been married for 50 years or more, but a quarter of a century is a long time and a significant portion of my life. 

Another thing I delight in talking about is my education, not so much my college degree but all the programs, classes, workshops, and training I have completed to continue to learn new things. The only time I'm not in a class is when I am psychotic and can't make sense of the world or try to learn new information.

I also like to talk about the workshops and presentations I lead. There are dozens of other topics, like travel, art, family, etc., that I also like engaging in conversation about. I am pointing this out because so much can make up life's details, events, and circumstances, even with a diagnosis like chronic paranoid schizophrenia or generalized anxiety disorder (GAD).

When I introduce myself to people, I don't talk about the symptoms I live with or the medications I take. I start by talking about the things I love and am interested in. Then eventually, if trust is established and the time seems right, I might add that I live with mental illness. If I do not have a mental health emergency, that information is secondary, not primary. My identity is much more than schizophrenia.