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Are you struggling to do things that were previously effortless? From eating breakfast to sending a text message, does everything seem impossible? Before you label yourself lazy or incapable, know this: it's not you; when everything seems impossible, it's depression.
Living with the intensity of borderline personality disorder (BPD) feelings used to make me feel crazy. I could feel so sure someone was going to leave me, only to find out later there was nothing to worry about. For most of my life, I struggled to control my painful and embarrassing emotions. It wasn't until I started accepting my perception as truth that I began to feel more in control.
A couple of years ago, I was in your place: anxious, nervous, and extremely stressed out for my very first therapy session. Countless questions were running through my mind, like, "Will my therapist judge me?", "Will they understand where I'm coming from?", "What will happen in the first session?", and "Will my therapist think my concerns are stupid?" Being anxious about your first therapy session is normal. As someone who grew up surrounded by people who thought that therapy was for "crazy people," I was extremely clueless about therapy and didn't know what to expect.
Do you ever feel like you never do anything right? I do. My baseline is feeling that everything I do is wrong to the point that feeling like I’m doing something right is a rarity. Anxiety keeps running questions in the back of my mind, whether I’m making the right decision, saying the right words, or doing the right thing.
I’ve mentioned before that I wanted to see a dietician/nutritionist. The reason is that I want to lose weight to take pressure off of my arthritic knees. I was supposed to go at the end of May, but the doctor had an emergency, so she couldn’t see clients on the day of my appointment. My husband, Tom, and I went in to see her on June 16. Here’s how it went and how it’s going.
Is self-harm a sin? Whatever you believe in life, if you've asked yourself this question (or one like it) before, know that you're not alone. 
As a victim of verbal abuse, I've slowly realized that I may never be totally free of the aftereffects of verbal abuse. Although I can spend hours, weeks, and years in therapy, there will always be a small part of it that is meshed inside my mind. I can use all the helpful tips and tricks my therapist gives me to handle that nagging voice I hear from my past, but it often doesn't work on my bad days.
In 2022, the potential for overstimulation is real, from phones to smartwatches and everything in between. Even now, as I type away on my laptop, I can't help but ponder the previous eight hours I spent staring at an almost identical screen. I'm not naive. I know that technology--and the no doubt plethora of benefits we reap from it--is an integral part of our daily lives. I'm no technology shunner; I'm simply a mental health enthusiast.
I've been writing for HealthyPlace for about six months now. I've written numerous articles about dealing with low self-esteem and how to improve it. However, I've been thinking about my process and realized that while I may be able to identify low self-esteem, that doesn't mean everyone can. Today, I'd like to take a different approach to identifying low self-esteem. I'll write this post from my viewpoint as I figure out my self-esteem.
I have permission to enjoy food. As obvious as this sounds, it's one of the most impactful realizations I've come to learn in eating disorder recovery. In the darkest seasons of my illness, I believed that showing a preference for any food at all was a sign of weakness. I would not allow myself to acknowledge pleasure in the flavors or textures of anything I ate. Food was purely utilitarian back then—I consumed just enough to stay alive and placate the concerns of those around me. But the more I heal, the more I learn that food is a source of nourishment and enjoyment. So I can grant myself permission to experience both.

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Comments

C.A.
That is not boundaries. If someone’s boundaries require you to not communicate there is something wrong. That is a manipulation tactic not a boundary. That is not about boundaries it is about control.
Robin Gaile
Mahevash, I too suffer (I usually say deal with but I am experiencing an episode too) from major depression disorder and it stinks. Especially this time of year when everyone is cheerful and I'm just not. It's like trying to dig yourself out of quick sand your just stuck and you feel yourself sinking. But you are right about this just being a moment (a terrible sometimes long moment) in time and it will fade and you will see brighter days if you just stick it out. Well I'll get off my soap box now and keep telling myself these things.😊🦋
Dereck
Thank you…. Still no word from her. She’s going to see her psychiatrist for the 3rd time coming up. Her belongings and dog are still here. I’m still supportive in my way, I’m still living my life. I get in my head a lot. Today was rough. Her mom was supposed to talk to her to see what’s going on. I’m still going strong though. I just want to let her know I’m still here for her. I don’t want to put any pressure on her to come home. Just let her know I’m proud of her and I support her. But I imagine she knows that.
Linda singer
I have shared similar frustrations—glad to finally have a name for what makes my life more difficult. I have no sensory memory, but profound emotional ones— not always helpful, either!
Kayla Holtom
I am 16 with a twin brother,Kevin.We both recieved our Sacrement of Confirmation back in early September in the class of 23. Kevin and the other boys had to wear white suits and me and the other girls had to wear white,short sleeve floor length dresses with a veil,white gloves.lace anklets and white maryjane shoes.Two weeks before the ceremony,dad told mom that he wanted me diapered under my dress and mom went along with it! She got a package of 26x27 inch cloth diapers and sewed them together in my waist size to make one diaper out of them.She ordered a pair of white adult size rubberpants[plasticpants] and got a card of diaper pins at Walmart.That sunday morning,after my bath,mom had me sit down on my bed and lay back.She slid the folded diaper under me,applied the babypowder,then brought the diaper up and pinned the corners.Then she put my feet into the waist and leg openings of the rubberpants and pulled them up my legs and over the diaper.Since they were adult size,they fit me blousy over the diaper.My top was put on next,then my dress,veil,lace anklets and the shoes.I was brought out and shown to dad and Kevin.Mom lifted up my dress and showed them the diaper and rubberpants and i turned red!I felt weird walking down the aisle with my classmates and having the diaper and rubberpants on under my dress!