Blogs
Rebuilding relationships after a gambling addiction is a tall hill to climb. I know this too well because my gambling addiction left a trail of broken relationships. A few months into my recovery journey, it dawned on me how much I had lost—not only money but also valuable relationships that had taken me years to build. My actions had caused my loved ones so much hurt that they found it harder to trust me, which naturally built a wall between us. Today, I'll share what I have learned about rebuilding relationships after addiction.
Can you be manipulative without knowing it? Is such a thing even possible? My therapist says without knowing it, you can be manipulative. Read on to learn more about what she calls unintentional manipulation.
Understanding my adult separation anxiety in borderline personality disorder (BPD) involves delving into its complexities and origins. My adult separation anxiety in BPD is more than just feeling uneasy when separated from loved ones; it's a deep-seated fear of abandonment that I can trace back to childhood experiences of neglect, loss, or inconsistent caregiving. These early experiences created a heightened sensitivity to perceived threats of rejection or abandonment in my adult relationships.
Coping with depression at work isn't easy. I currently work full-time from home. Like many others, I spend more time in front of the computer and on the phone with strangers than with loved ones. Once I clock out, I am so drained that I don't want to talk to anyone. My social battery is empty. Yet, the next day, I put on that smiling face and log back in to start the cycle again. Working takes up so much of my time and energy that there have been many times when working triggered a depressive episode. Or, if I was already depressed, work made my sadness even worse without specific ways to cope with depression at work.
Fasting can be related to mental health. Fasting, the practice of abstaining from food or drink for a specific period, is significant in cultures and societies across the world. People fast for various reasons, from religious observance and spiritual purification to weight management and personal health goals. In fact, Ramadan, a month of fasting observed by Muslims, ended very recently. And it got me thinking: how does fasting impact mental health? Let's take a look.
Do naps affect schizoaffective disorder? For me, they do—in a good way. Here’s how naps improve my schizoaffective disorder.
I've found that grief and anxiety go together alongside the feelings of sadness, anger, regret, loneliness, and depression. However, in my education and throughout what I have learned, the relationship between grief and anxiety was not usually addressed.
"I'll sleep when I'm dead" is a line my former self fully embraced before learning more about sleeping for mental health. If others didn't need sleep, I thought I didn't either. That thought process took a nasty toll on my mental health. Sleeping is essential for mental health and shouldn't be put on the back burner.
New beginnings can be powerful tools for building self-esteem, especially for those of us with mental health conditions. When you are struggling with your mental health, it can feel like you are stuck in a cycle of negativity and self-doubt However, embracing new beginnings offers an opportunity to break free from that cycle and embark on a journey of self-discovery, growth, and improved self-esteem.
For seven years, I was privileged to contribute to the "Getting Through Tough Times" blog on HealthyPlace, but now this author is saying goodbye. This mental health community has been my home. It was a safe place to share my journey through difficult times. I am very sad to be leaving. But before I do, I would like to share this post expressing what HealthyPlace has meant to me.
I'm looking for information for my sponsee. She and I are in OA. She is not a newbie but she is struggling how to manage bipolar with a 12-step program.
Can we chat?
but i do have some things i want to bring up
>people looking for "sourcemates" never really made sense to us, but we got manipulated into it anyway and all it ensued was gaslighting, brainwashing, and grooming. it has put us in abusive relationships many times until we put our foot down about it. though, i have seen people use "sourcecalling" as "hey we have the same source we got introjected from lol" and not "I SHARE MEMORIES FROM ANOTHER WORLD WITH YOU", so im glad that's dying down a bit.
however, this doesnt change the fact that some of us fictives can have these fake memories, especially after splitting since that disorients us/the alter, it is just important not to fuel them, as that would be delusion, and it has hurt us many times.
it is important to steer away from these beliefs, but also know some of those people could be being manipulated right now by fakers (like how we were manipulated ie) etc.
>"endogenic" is completely made up and scientifically impossible. endos claim they do not need any trauma at all to form did/osdd, this is far from true. i dont think you need me to tell you that though, it's just for people scrolling by mostly.
>a lot of people try to loop tulpamancy into did, which is harmful for both the disorder and the spiritual practice. a lot of people call themself "tulpagenic" system, meaning they think they just manifested their system willfully. this is, like endogenic, scientifically impossible, and tulpamancy has nothing to do with a dissociation disorder at all.
>i also disagree with people posting about their "system", ESPECIALLY on tiktok, like its some show or diary for them. not only is it extremely harmful for that system if they happened to be a real system making a bad decision - but if the person is faking being a system, then now they are spreading false info on did, which is why us as a real system get slurred and screamed at by people we called "friends" anytime we tell them after knowing them for a year or so. it is messed up and i agree with the disdain for tiktok.
>for us, some of our fictives formed off of recent medias we have seen before having a traumatic or dissociative experience. our brain i guess picks up stuff like that and thinks whatever qualities the fictional character had would be helpful to us and put it in an empty shell and formed that alter, which has always confused us and made us get scared of faking despite or diagnosis process. ive met confirmed diagnosed systems who also have this experience. none of us picks what the fictive is based on or when they form, the brain is a mystery. ive also come to conclusions autistic systems have higher chances of having more fictives/general introjects than non-introject alters.
>anyone who claims they "recently became a system" might be confused on their wording or how it works, or they might really just be faking. some people are newly discovered, which is VERY VERY VERY normal for us with DID. we usually wont notice it until we are older or something very drastic happens (being hospitalized because of a persecutor ie.) for us, we began to notice weird things more in 2018, then found out about it in 2020. which was awful. when you finally figure out what could be wrong, and then get medically recognized or a diagnosis, its both hell internally and socially, and this usually happens when you are a child/preteen/teen, which makes it even harder and people make a lot of bad and unhealthy mistakes with how to cope (like getting manipulated or being waayyy too open about it/using tiktok like a diary.)
>for alters "already knowing the ropes of the system", this has always made us very distrusting of other people, but there are many factors as to why that can possibly happen, or just at least to a short degree.
-they might be an osdd-1b system, meaning they have little to no amnesia, or just emotional amnesia.
-when they split, another alter or that system's friend already explained everything to them internally/privately, so of course you wouldnt see that.
-alters split from each other, so that can leave to those two alters having a lot of similarities, along with a few key memories that alter may have as an instinct in order to survive or function.
what ive found is its best to not fakeclaim a system based on a few things you know about them because of how different each system is. they could be a did system, an osdd-1a system, or a osdd-1b system - so if you were one of the three, you wouldnt be able to really understand the other two. many systems can also have different traumas, experiences, coping mechanisms, and their medical history (other disorders the body has, if they have a therapist or not, what theyve done to cope with did/osdd, etc.)
the only time i ever fakeclaim someone on this is if they are spewing factually proven incorrect statements as true, and maybe even putting ACTUAL true statements down, but i find it's best not to interact with fakers, as they are usually just baiting and they will never change their mind for you. it's best to just research correctly, (did-research.org is a good source.), and make sure you spread the correct info and tell people to watch out for endos/myths. though, i have seen cases where "endos" were manipulated into thinking they were endo (by someone giving them the wrong definition, usually being "endo means u dont remember trauma!" [ which is incorrect, that is still traumagenic.]) or they are in denial of their trauma. it's best not to assume, and arguing with endos is draining, so as i said, its better to educate generally than to argue directly.
this was long, but i hope any of this helps.
As a fictive, yes, we KNOW we arent the character. we are fully aware of that. while i do agree i and most others in our system HEAVILY dislike the "sourcecall" "sharing memories" stuff, as it never made sense to us, and even then when we blindly followed it somewhat, it was used to abuse us. so you are correct about that and i hope other systems who are newly diagnosed/process of diagnosis do not fall into the rabbit hole we did, but i should make it clear to you that most of us fictives DO experience these fake memories, especially when a fictive newly splits, a split in general leaves the alters and system disoriented and confused. a lot of DID communities online fueled our "psuedo memories" and it only harmed us.
fictives DO experience these fake memories, having them doesn't invalidate the existence. you just need to not fuel these "memories" because it can be harmful for that alter to the whole system. sorry that this was long, but a lot of your comments were borderline fakeclaiming fictives, which are proven to be real. yes, some fictives can be convinced they ARE the character, but it's them and their system's responsibility to alert them of the truth, instead of the entire concept of our (fictives) existence being claimed to be fake.