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I will never forget one specific breakfast during my time in residential treatment. An on-staff clinician supervising the meal told me to throw out my pancakes and grab a new batch. When I asked her why, the answer was confusing, but as with most rules at this inpatient facility, it left no room for further questions. "You spread peanut butter on your pancakes—that's a food ritual," she replied.
I haven’t heard schizoaffective voices in over a year. I am so elated about this, especially since I’ve struggled with auditory hallucinations since my first and only psychotic episode in 1998 when I was 19. Being free of the voices is absolutely liberating.
If you've ever asked yourself, "Why do I feel like hurting myself when I'm mad?" know that you are not alone.
Thanks to attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), I'm easily distracted. This is especially difficult when I spend time on YouTube binges or scrolling through social media apps, even though I'd earmarked that time for working.
Hello, everybody, and welcome to my first official installment of "How to Live a Blissful Life." If I weren't in such an atrocious mood, I'd be happy to be here, but unfortunately, I'm in a bit of a tizzy. For the better part of a day, I've been hacking my way through the unforgiving jungle of my mind with my machete of words in order to deliver you something brilliant for this inaugural post. About an hour ago, I punctuated my final sentence and gave the piece I'd just barely conquered a once over. It was bad. It was really, really bad. It was drowning in inauthenticity and pretension, and I wouldn't have let you touch it with a 10-foot stick.
In this video, I talk about one of my secret tricks to self-soothing when borderline personality disorder (BPD) symptoms are triggered.
When you deal with anxiety, it's hard to stop yourself from also feeling sad and hopeless. There are a few reasons for this, and for myself, I've found that this has happened to me because dealing with constant anxiety can be extremely exhausting. But I've also found that this has happened to me because the overwhelming feelings and constant worry that go along with anxiety are negative feelings by nature. It's hard to feel positive feelings about anything when you're overcome with anxiety. (Note: This post contains a trigger warning.)
As someone who lives with borderline personality disorder (BPD) and complex posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), I'm engaged in a daily struggle to maintain my sanity. What impacts my sanity the most is the belief that I've said or done something to interfere with other people's sanity. I've learned that the best way to interfere with other people's sanity is to become involved with them in intimate relationships. That way, I can offer them front-row seats to witness my cyclical descent into instability and be swept up into it themselves whenever they try to bring order to my intermittently untameable internal chaos. I don't know how to stay sane, in love, or out of it. When it comes to relationships, all I seem to do is bring my partners into the eye of the storm of a woman who's lost her center and herself.
According to Mental Health America, more than 11.4 million adults have severe suicidal ideations. In 2020, The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention reported that nearly 46,000 Americans died by suicide that year.  Although suicide is a serious issue, many people do not seek help for it. Having personally had suicidal thoughts, I understand some of the causes and the hesitancy for people to seek help. In this post, I share the causes of my suicidal ideations and the importance of support. (Note: This post contains a trigger warning.)
Today is World Suicide Prevention Day, and so the question arises: no matter what we do, can we prevent all suicides? I think even the most ardent suicide-prevention groups would admit that we can't prevent all suicides. There are many reasons for this, including the fact that people often decide to end their life mere moments before they do it, and it's hard to get to those people in those moments. Nonetheless, can we still chip away at the number of suicides? Can we really prevent most suicides? (Note: This post contains a trigger warning.)

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This is what happens when your therapist is not experienced with adhd or neurodivergence at all. Terribly unhelpful advice from your doctor reminiscent of things I was taught as an autistic person in ABA/Abusive therapy designed by the same guy who invented conversion therapy for gay kids.
13 year old kid
i have been phisacly abused and mentley with in volving rape
Kayel
I realize this was years ago, but in case you still struggle to communicate with reactive alters. If an alter is reactive, something is probably triggering a host. If it was sudden, think about the conversation you just had with them. And I mean the whole thing. Was there a point that their posture changed, or anything noticable? If you remember what you were talking about before that change, you can figure out why they are out.
Anything and everything is a trigger. Names, places, smells, tastes, everything.

If an alt acts defensively, it's best to stay calm and chose your wording to avoid misunderstandings. Do not let your hurt show if they are mean. That alter is likely trying to prove to the rest that no one can handle them, they are too far gone, and getting "help" would mean opening up to potentially more trauma. (It's very possible that they've experienced medical trauma/neglectigance from an early age as well, so.. lots of valid fear!) Patience is really important.
Gillian Bevis-King
I have been stalked; harassed; gas-lighted, repetitively, repetitively, repetitively...and infinitum...on and off...for months at a time for the last 11 years.
I have had EVERY crime perpetrated against me, over the course of the last 11 years, including 'rape'...except outright murder...that would be too obvious...or maybe he's building up to that...?
I am grateful each day I wake up and find myself still alive.
ALL THE OFFENCES ARE COVERT. HIDDEN. 'INVISIBLE' HE CREEPS INTO THE HOUSE AT NIGHT, WHILST I'M SLEEPING.
Changing locks umpteen times has not helped; CCTV has been equally useless because unless you know the EXACT time the person enters the building, you find yourself wading through tons of footage with nothing 'captured' on film.
I finally was driven to install Verisure Security System with cameras and alarm, but it has just become another 'toy' to be manipulated and keep others, away from the house.
It has all had the APPEARANCE of being PARANORMAL - Objects Displaced ; Things Going Missing and Things Appearing, in the house, which are not mine.
It all makes him look like God Almighty, but he isn't, although he is extremely highly intelligent - VERY SMART - very clever. I have two degrees but I am not as clever as he, is.
The police, certainly, are not.
Completely waste of time, because the bar, the level set for evidence by the Criminal Prosecution Service is so HIGH, as to be VIRTUALLY IMPOSSIBLE, if not, ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE, to attain.
It is NOT MY JOB, Anyhow to work as a volunteer, for the police.
MY JOB...is to...SAFE-GUARD my own MENTAL and PHYSICAL HEALTH (as far as this is possible)
ANOTHER TRICK, which he's quite fond of is seemingly, 'manifesting coins' and making it seem as if objects are materialising out of thin air (presumably by the use of some kind of remote control (?)
He was successful in driving me to have a nervous breakdown, last year, I am not going to allow that to happen, THIS year, if I have anything to do with it.
He has taught me to be an expert at managing extreme stress.
Elizabeth Caudy
Dear Vive, thank you for your comment. Have you considered taking her to a support group where she could talk to other people with schizoaffective disorder? Best, Elizabeth